Grandpa, I Never knew

I always wondered why there is a flight from Trichy to Chennai. It's a 4 to 5-hour journey on the road. While the flight time is 50 minutes, one may spend the same amount of time at the airport going through the security checks, baggage check-ins, claims, and the passenger onboarding drama. Wouldn’t it be cheaper just to book a Train or a Volvo?

Well, I got the answer on one fateful Monday morning. When my brother called, bearing sad news. My grandpa had passed away. The first thing I did was search for a Flight out of Trichy to Chennai and from Chennai to my hometown. To be honest, my memories of my grandpa were not pleasant ones. I remembered him as a hard-working carpenter who was working very long hours, and I remember him as a drunk on his off hours. Nothing more, I remember his laughs of silly jokes. Maybe that's why I wasn't shaken up that badly when I heard the news also, he was just a year short of 80.

So there I am standing in front of a photo of him meeting people who knew him and telling me that he lived a good life. After 11 days of mourning period, we had the ceremony where so many familiar faces showed up. But what surprised me was how little they cared about the person who passed away and how self-indulgent they were with their stuff. People were discussing their expenses, and some were busy planning their weekend. A group of elderly ladies were complaining about daughter-in-laws and a group of young ladies were bitching about their Mother-in-laws. Guys were discussing IPL, weather and food that we served. And in about 5 hrs, it was just me and my family cleaning after them. No one stayed behind. It took us another 3 hours to finally shuttle back home. No one else accompanied.

More than 400 people showed up at the ceremony. All that made me wonder what the point of hosting such a ceremony was when no one cared. It bothered me so much that I finally asked my Mom, What and why did we host that ceremony. While expecting an answer rooted in our culture and history, I was surprised by Mom's response. To quote her, “Hosting is a ceremony is not for mourning but for letting go. It is a point when everyone pays their respect to the departed soul and forgives and asks for forgiveness. Your grandpa was a very lucky man. He ….”

I interrupted her. “Guy barely remembered who he was in the end. The other day, he panicked because he couldn't recognise the little one. Disease-ridden he was, his meds were more than the meal portions. How is that lucky?” I asked.

“His health was a result of his wrongdoings, but he got to see his grandkid's marriage and got to play with their kids, too. We were there with him in his last moments. He was happy in his final days. Not everyone gets to live such a long life and see the lives of their kids and grandkids. As for the people who visited today, they were his friend’s family and distant relatives. Everyone who visited today was family.” Mom’s answer made me realise that grandpa indeed was lucky. Now I wonder if he knew that.

Om Shanti..