Healing the Hurt: Transforming pain into purpose

Life often feels like a movie, but we wish we could just repeat the scenes or pack our bags and return home whenever we wanted. Unfortunately, death does not listen to our wishes; it takes away loved ones without compassion, removing fathers from families, mothers from their children, and children from their parents. Over time, people may grow accustomed to the pain of losing loved ones; they witness so much departure that they can no longer shed tears.

Last year was particularly heartbreaking for me. We lost our grandmother early in the year, which was sad but somewhat expected since she had lived to a ripe old age. While we were making arrangements for her burial, my uncle, her youngest son, passed away unexpectedly. He was overseeing the arrangements, as he had already made plans.

We were in disbelief when we heard the news; it shocked us all. If only death had compassion, it would have allowed him to live. Both my grandmother and uncle were buried in February as we paid our final respects. I hoped that there wouldn’t be more sad news, but shortly after my uncle’s burial, my mom's sister, who had been very sick, also passed away in early March. By then, I was no longer surprised; death has become such a common occurrence that hearing of someone’s passing barely elicits a reaction. She was buried last week in the village. I can only hope that we won’t receive any more bad news this year, as it’s just too much to bear.

Some individuals go to great lengths to hurt themselves, but how do we transform this pain?

• Allow Yourself to Grieve

You shouldn’t suppress your emotions; give yourself permission to grieve. When we received the news, we couldn’t hold back our feelings. You might think that by trying to feel less, you can avoid thinking about it, but the memories will inevitably come rushing back. The nickname that the deceased used to call me replayed in my mind; what a world we live in!

• Acceptance

People often cling to a loved one’s corpse after death, calling out to them and holding on, hoping for a miracle. When that doesn’t happen, it’s important to accept the reality of the situation. My family didn’t linger long; my father took my uncle’s lifeless body to a mortuary.

• Understand That No One is Immortal

Everyone will eventually die; the time just came for them. We should make the most of our time and live well. It puzzles me why politicians hoard vast amounts of money, only to leave it behind when they die. Yes, we should enjoy life and our wealth, but accumulating wealth to such an extent seems unnecessary.

Life can be cruel, so live it to the fullest.
Do not envy others; instead, support one another.
We are not in a race to see who can accumulate the most.