IT IS NOT WORTH IT

For so many new year eves, I have probably spent it in the front of the tv screen watching a movie and then sleep whenever I felt sleepy. There was hardly anything special about it except for the part that the next day marks the beginning of a new year. I wasn’t intentional about so many things, I just feel grateful for being privileged to be part of those in a new year. Well, something was different this time. Something that I had never really thought would even be possible but it happened anyways.

On this year’s new eve, I was on call with one of my favorite persons and it was the best choice of activities to do at that time. We talked about a lot of different things and shared some really deep conversations with each other. It was really beautiful and nice because I felt so connected and relaxed after so many years of holding up some thoughts and experiences to myself and I think I can say the same for him. We both let out a lot of things off our mind that day which seemed to have been bothering or just holding us back at different points of our lives.

After having that experience with him, one thing kept playing in my head which is, *it’s not worth it”. So many times, we go through different life situations, especially those situations that we caused for ourselves that placed us in a bad place with ourselves, others and even our maker. We just stay there wallowing in self pity thinking that will solve a thing but we only come to realize that our problems just seem to become bigger than it was before. And funny enough, we don’t just end in our self-pity, we also look for others that will have pity on us justifying some choices we know deep down wasn’t the best.

For this week’s travellighttuesday prompt, I’m only here to remind myself and whoever had the time to read this that some things are just not worth traveling with. Whether it be packing up for a trip or holding a grudge against yourself or someone or keeping things to yourself that you could talk to someone about, know that it is not worth it. It might seem like it will have a use along the way but trust me, it is something that you can do without anyways and if you still insist on holding onto it, you might just end up getting rid of it at the wrong time and place.

It’s not bad to keep a secret but always bear it in mind that every secret will one day be exposed and you can choose that day yourself. Never wait until it is exposed in a way that wasn’t pleasant first. Most times, these secrets make room for us to be blackmailed from doing the things we should do, when we should do them. The idea of having a secret denotes something bad and not really nice. It’s fine to have a mystery but a secret is not worth holding unto for as long as we are holding unto them.

It is one of my goals to be the one to expose any of my secrets and not burdening anyone to be the one to do so. And one of the ways I try to do this is by being honest no matter what. If there is one thing I have been trying hard to avoid is telling a lie. That too is not worth it. Not speaking is way better than lying and misleading someone or people especially those we say we love. At least, that’s what I believe and it has made my life way simpler and better. Knowing that I don’t want any secret holding me back or any lie keeping me captive, I have been able to travel lighter and longer without being anxious for anything.

Thank you for reading through. ❤️