At My Age?!

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I met a friend for coffee the other day, and had a conversation that left me...confused.

We were just chatting, you know, the usual girl-talk about hair and things, and I mentioned how I'd been thinking about coloring my hair purple, I had a bunch of "crazy" colors when I was in my teens, but I've never been purple, and was curious about doing it now. Immediately, my friend gave me this horrified look. At first, she said why would I "ruin" the lovely hair I have now, and were it only that, I could've agreed.

But then, she added, "Anyway, not anymore. You may have been able to get away with it until now, but not from now on."

She was referencing my birthday. I'm 25 next week (her age, also). And, as is often the case, it seems I missed the marker for adulthood. I wasn't aware there was a hard cut-off at 25 by which "crazy" hair is no longer deemed acceptable by society. And heaven forbid I displease or somehow disappoint society.

Really, the way she said it suggested we're too old for that sort of thing now. It would no longer be "appropriate". I thought, first of all, I'm 25, not 85. Not that I think purple hair is inappropriate at 85. It's preferable, if you think about it, 'cause you've got the perfect white base. But it's more common to hear that sort of "argument" about older people. To hear it from a twenty five year old seems so bizarre, not to mention wrong.

I mean, this from a person who hated thinking of the number when she turned 25 because where did the time go? It's a sentiment I agree with. An ex's mom had the supreme argument that the pandemic years don't count, so really, I'm turning 22. If we're being honest. :D


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At 17, in Hammersmith, with my shock blue hair.

Jokes aside, I like 25. It's a good number, and I'm happy with where I am, and with how life has progressed so far. The way I think of it, though, is "well okay, we're at this stage. This is what yet needs doing, where I wanna go, what I wanna achieve and stuff, and this is roughly the time left."

I thought everyone thought like that. Certainly wasn't aware there's people thinking "Oh, well, I'm 25 now. Or 46. or 70 or whatever. Better act like it. Here's a list of do's and dont's."

It seems like such a sad way to conduct your life. I mean, say you wanna dye your hair purple like me. It's one thing, I think, to not do it because it's expensive or you don't wanna damage your hair too much or whatever. It's quite another not to do it because "what would people think?". Jesus. Who has time to worry what someone else is thinking? Fuck other people. It might be an argument if I worked in some strict corporate world where it might impact my job prospects, but as I am now, who gives a fuck?

It's sad because I see this friend slipping away into this template of what she thinks adults should be. She never really took the time to find out who she was or what she liked or wanted, and as she grows older, she just seems to be molding more and more to this bland template of "adults".

It's depressing. To live life by someone else's dubiously identified "rules". Let someone else tell you which colors are okay to dye your hair and which aren't. What to wear and what not to. What to think.

I don't know if I'm gonna dye my hair. I think it's a bit expensive, and am a bit worried about bleaching it, 'cause last time I did it, I did damage it quite badly. On the other hand, I loved having blue and green and all those other colors. It was such great fun.

(Apparently, I'm too old for that kind of fun now.)

But irrespective of whether I do or don't, it's going to be because of my own damn choices. Like, I'd rather spend the money on something else, or not damage the hair I've spent years regrowing and strengthening. It certainly won't be because some uptight asshole might look at me and think "ooh, doesn't she think she's all that".

Who's got the time? At (almost) 25, I know I don't.

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27 comments
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Im with you in this, sister! Im so tired of the society dictating us what to do, what to wear, or how to act. I hope we can all just be ourselves without being judged.

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I say let them judge. Who asked them, anyway? ;)

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Wow that's crazy that she said that. I have friends in their 50s and 60s still dyeing their hair bold colours. You just do you.
Personally I don't use bleach. But that's me.
You looked amazing with blue hair xxxx

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I'm starting to think I got the wrong friends :D I know it's no biggie, I know people like that, too. I'm just surprised people my age actually think like this. So backward.

And thank you, my dear! I did go out and buy purple dye earlier. xD Hate being told you can't do that, I guess. Haven't figured out the bleach exactly yet, but I figure the hair's been pretty healthy and chemical-free for a long enough time now to risk it a bit. Funny, I realized i spend twice more time deciding whether to dye hair than get a damn tattoo. Never regretted my tattoos, either. Strange :D

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There is no cut off for such here in my country
You can change the color of your hair anyhow you like and even at any age
That’s just the fact

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I'm still reeling at the idea of you only age 25 yet you published a book of short stories (I have it in my Kindle still even though I no longer remember the author name!).
Your friend has strong opinions and weak character....?
Funny, where I live, rainbow hair seems quite common among the elderly.
Maybe because the white base is a good foundation.
What I want is the freedom to NOT spend time and money (and a carbon footprint) on hair dye, salons, makeup, botox, the latest fashion, nail polish (and remover), cologne -
I am turning into a troll. The old hag of the forest.
Except, I do tweeze out facial hairs, and I've had moles surgically excised.
Now to exorcise my inner hag.... or not. I am inclined to let my unkempt old woman with gray hair and wrinkles proclaim I EARNED THIS - I is OLD, and I am grateful to have lived long enough to let it show.
Well, purple hair, if you wish, is your prerogative.
"Too old" - who is this woman, speaking this nonsense to you?
#ignore
You be you. She can be she. I'd rather be you.

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I remember the lovely review you gave the book! I think it was under Honey Due :D

What I want is the freedom to NOT spend time and money (and a carbon footprint) on hair dye, salons, makeup, botox, the latest fashion, nail polish (and remover), cologne -
I am turning into a troll. The old hag of the forest.

Not at all! It's your right to do or not do these things, as you like. It's just as much BS to feel obligated to do these things, and I know people like that as well. Couple years ago, I was visiting a friend's family, and the girl's mother (who's otherwise wonderful) commented why her daughter couldn't be more "ladylike", pointing out my own tiny "ladylike" markers, like some make-up and a bracelet I think. I was mortified. No one should feel obligated to wear/paint themselves or do anything to fit into a stereotype.

I is OLD, and I am grateful to have lived long enough to let it show.

100%. When I was out with this friend, I was noticing a woman in her 50s at the next table, and thinking how damn hard she was obviously trying to appear younger. It was in the clothes she wore, the perfectly styled hair and the layers of make-up she had on (discreet make-up to seem like that was her natural face). I thought how sad, really, not to be comfortable in your own skin. When we left, my friend told me that was a local media personality (I don't follow such..), so that made more sense.

Still, if you can't look like you when you're enjoying a cup of coffee with friends, what's the point?

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Your book is under Honey Due? That's too easy! I'll have to revisit it.
Amazon purged a thousand reviews, so if I didn't copy it over to Goodreads, I'll never see it again.
(Did you save copies of reviews of your book....?)

Oh, this! To comfortable in our own skin, and "if you can't look like you when you're enjoying a cup of coffee with friends, what's the point?"
THANK YOU
Others can do the botox and hair salon thing--just, please don't fault me for doing MY thing.
Not enough people think the way you do. :)

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I'm not finding anything as "Honey Due" in my Kindle, orders history at Amazon, anywhere....

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(Edited)

I can't seem to find the review on either Amazon or Goodreads. On Amazon, I've since transferred the collection on my real name, to go with my other books. Unfortunately, I didn't think to save any at the time, so I guess it got purged. Nevertheless, I remember it was lovely!!

Not enough people think the way you do. :)

Not enough people think. Most judge :)

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Acquired on August 11, 2018 - definitely before the purge.

We judge without thinking: that sounds about right!

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OMG 25! It's truly all relative. Birthdays are mile markers indicating how far you've traveled through time but not something by which you should measure your life or feel limited by. Life should be measured by things like memories, experiences, moments of joy, and inspiration. A very happy birthday to you, show up to your party with purple hair. : )

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Life should be measured by things like memories, experiences, moments of joy, and inspiration.

Always <3 But then again, I knew we shared similar views towards aging, my friend.

Thank you!! My party's actually going to be tourist-ing through Venice (my kind of party, really), but I'm definitely showing up with purple hair. Either that, or bald, but nothing's permanent, eh? :D

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Hello Katrina! I noticed you are publishing from hive.blog

I want to invite you to try out InLeo, where you can publish your articles and also microbloggs (like Twitter), and where you can also earn $HIVE and $LEO tokens!

There is an ongoing challenge where you can win InLeo Premium for a month!

All you have to do is make long form post using InLeo before January 31st.

I hope you can check it out!

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Hi! I'll look into it. Thank you :D

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Definitely fren! It's very much the same process but on InLeo you can earn $LEO tokens and you also have Threads which are just inherently fun lol

Give it a try! Hope you are doing good, IRL fren haha

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Oh wow. Logged in and everything. Feeling advanced. xD Do you have to publish in LeoFinance or can I publish into any community?

I'm great, Eric. Getting older, though not necessarily wiser :D Hope you're good, too.

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You can post to any community and earn $leo in the process, you don't need to use tags or anything, just post from inLeo to earn them hehe.

I saw your 25yr old blue hair post, I say go for it!

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Oh wow that sounds like easy money. Okay. Thanks, will do.

I saw your 25yr old blue hair post, I say go for it!

Already on it 😈

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Hahahaha nice, looking forward to honeydue blue hair version haha. Yep, pretty much easy tokens just by helping InLeo get more traffic and generate Ad Revenue (which helps the $LEO token price btw, so it's a snowball effect).

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In the end settled for purple. I've already seen blue. :D

And hey, explaining crypto in a way even I can understand. A skilled wordsmith, indeed. :)

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and as she grows older, she just seems to be molding more and more to this bland template of "adults".

What a bummer for her. It sounds like she thinks she's a lot older than she actually is. I'm glad you are able to differentiate yourself from that.

The older I get, the more I have come to realize that there's no actual adulthood, there's just being older than I was before. Granted, there are obvious distinctions between a baby in diapers, a toddler, a tween, a teen, and so forth, and there's a certain point at which we are expected to be relatively self-sufficient. But the idea that there is a cutoff for doing fun, creative things with one's life or one's body after only, what, two decades, when we're expected to live at least 80??
Booooorrrriiiiiiing.

Also, you can get protein treatments and all kinds of cool hair masks and shampoos and conditioners for bleached hair that repair a lot of the damage. And DIY hair jobs tend to turn out just fine if you read the instructions and have some artistic sense, which you clearly do.

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The older I get, the more I have come to realize that there's no actual adulthood, there's just being older than I was before.

<3 Yes! Incidentally, I find the people who live creative lives true to themselves mind aging a whole lot less than these boring people. I guess it's 'cause life's just passing them slowly by.

And DIY hair jobs tend to turn out just fine if you read the instructions and have some artistic sense, which you clearly do.

Thank you!! I know a lot of people (like this girl) who wouldn't dream of doing anything DIY. "Trust the professionals!!" type mentality. I've never had a professional dye my hair, and ain't about to start now.

Funny story, I went out last night to get a bleaching kit and ran into this 75-year-old lady at the store (buying the same thing). I chatted with her for a bit, and she was like "why the hell would I pay $100 when I can do it perfectly fine myself?!". Talk about youth being a mentality!!

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"why the hell would I pay $100 when I can do it perfectly fine myself?!".

🤣

In defense of the stylists, I've had my hair done professionally before, and I definitely do see a difference. Also much less work on my end. But definitely not one of those "trust the professionals" situations, I prefer to save that mentality for electricians and computer-fixer-people (I can't remember what they're called!!!).

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We have similar attitudes in the society where I live too. It's so easy to judge someone's life instead of focusing on yours. Damn these, follow your passions, preferences, and choices in life!

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Ha, methinks we live in the same place :D Was wondering if it's just here, but writing this, I find people from all over who encounter similar attitudes. Damn them, indeed :)

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