When Loving is A Decision.....

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(Edited)

Hello everyone welcome to the season of love prio to this month of February, I've already started seeing some offers all over social media talking about making money banquets or flowers something you can present on val's day to your lover, February 14 is just by the corner, some businesses even went as far as offering you and your dates a free date experience with free launch and outing, a lot of these offers flying around and you can tell that its the season of love even tho we have two weeks to the day.

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everyone really have their own definition about what love means to them, we all knowingly or unknowingly communicate these feelings through our unique love language, this is one way to understand a person and their own ways of saying this is how I want to be love, I actually read that in a book by Mr Chapman, there I realise that we have been loving wrongly, if you truly want to love someone then you must love them on their own terms based on how they want to be loved not how we feel they should be loved.

I am someone who grew up having a different view and understanding of what love is, well for a fact I never believed in love anyways, because I felt there are better things to do with my emotions, as a matter of fact love to me then was confusing, two people who do not really know what they want came together then realize it was a mistake and then went their separate ways after wasting time and resources, so instead of me joining that league I rather focused on building myself till when I'm ready.
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At some point in my life I thought to my self how I wish I can interview like 20 couples on a row who have dated gotten married and are still together how they met, how the feelings actually started to the point of seeing something more into the future, decide to get married and support each other along the way, because love is one thing i still can't wrap my head around it, one time two people are so madly in love the next thing they are sworn enemies, like how...

so in my curios state I realise there is a thin line, a very thin one between love and hate, however if two people must make sense out of the feeling and keep it at the side of love then they must put in work, I view love to be like a tender flowering plant that must me watered every morning and evening to keep it alive, both parties must do this taking turns while one watered in the morning the other in the evening, no one person must do both if not the plant will still die, they must do it at separate intervals.

that brought me to my conclusion and my ultimate definition of what love is.....

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TO LOVE IS A DECISION NOT A FEELING

like I said there is a thin line between love and hate, in other to keep the feeling at the side of love there must be a resolution to do so, the reason been that if it's just a feeling then it is bound to fade, I never got a chance to run an interview on couples who have dated and gotten married but in my observations I noticed that it is a solid resolution on each other's path to make it work, meaning from both end it must be a decision to keep watering the plant morning and evening doesn't matter how you feeling or not once it's your turn you must water the plant and that's what makes love grow.

love is a decision not a feeling because everyday we see more beautiful ladies and more handsome guys and so if care is not taken there is that tendency to cheat on your partner but when one realise that loving is a decision then they can as well wave these other gender a good bye.

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2 comments
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Hmmm, I actually just recently learnt myself, that there a way you love and the way your partner wants to be loved. And the latter is actually more important.

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very true, the best way to have a lasting relationship is to love your partner on thier own terms that way they feel loved, valued and appreciated, because we often think buying heaven and earth will please or make the person know that we re seriously not knowing that some very simple acts means a lot, every person has their own ways and what works for them , finding out will safe humor a lot of trouble

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