When Love Seems To Fade, What Next?

When I look at how many homes go on a separate road on a daily basis, it gets me worrying about what was the initial agreement before it all started. What did they see at first that brought them together as one? What has fallen apart that made the center of gravity not hold any longer? These and many more are the questions that go within my heart.

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Some of these questions I get answers to, and some of them I still can’t fathom the answer to. For a while now, my husband and I have been pondering issues relating to marriage, as we have seen many homes are either on the verge of breaking or are broken already. Some couples are not in any way doing well in their secret place but come to the socials to look for those to intimidate with several photo shots.

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Not too long ago I heard of a family who, on a daily basis, fight in their house; the husband persistently threatens to kill her, but still they form to be together. One of the days, the wife organized a party and then made the husband the major speaker. The praises the man poured down on her, you will never believe that they ever exchanged words together, not to talk of fighting. In the socials, I have seen young people say that marriage is a scam under the post of one celebrity that they are having issues with their marriage; then they forget the place that their own parents have been married for over 30 to 40 years without separation.

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Talking about a prenuptial agreement is a no-no for me. This I tell you with my full chest; well, I don't know where we are getting some of these things from. Let me try to play it cool with this topic because if I should go in the direction I want to, a lot of tables will be scattered. But the truth is, from the beginning it was not so. I am of the Christian faith, and my faith is not in any way in support of a prenuptial agreement in any way.

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Marriage from the beginning is beautiful: a man and a woman who have agreed to support each other in love till death. I have been married for five years now; two years back, my sister-in-law called and was celebrating our third year with us. I was shocked and told her I thought it was just two; she said no, it's three. Before we began courtship, my husband presented to me his life goals and purpose; then he asked if I would be willing to support him to achieve what he just read to me. Been a woman with purpose too; at that point I wasn't seeing that love; I quickly scanned through my life pursuit before I said yes.

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Many marriages crash because at the foundation of the union, which starts from courtship, a lot of things aren't defined. The major thing many look out for first is who to satisfy them in bed, forgetting that there is more to this. I was listening to a program on TVC yesterday; one of the ladies mentioned that most men are just in the place to provide for the family but don't have that capacity. Now if they come to see a woman who is a goal-getter or has much capacity, they become jealous and look for every way possible to take her out of her vision. The major agreement that needs to be entered into before marriage is the purpose agreement.

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If the purpose of is not well defined a time will come that all that will be seen is abuse and when it gets so abusive the people involved will seek for ways to separate from each other. Love is not just enough to keep two persons going; there are those who profess love to each other, but they still get to fight on a daily basis. Well, if the love that is spoken about here is the kind of love that is in the scriptures, I can just say it is enough to keep both parties going, but if it is this tender love of the youths that is sex motivated, I will say no, it is not in any way enough to keep a home. Coming to the ladies, some ladies feel so proud of themselves because they feel they are these boss ladies and everything they need they can actually get for themselves, and the men I know don't like to pal around with women who always talk down at them or who don't see their importance outside the bedroom. This is why it is very important for a proper definition of purpose to be in place before coming together. This purpose is one thing that will keep the union in check. We have a general goal as a family, and every year that comes, my husband takes it upon himself to draw a plan for the year, and it serves as a focus for us.

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Most times we forget about the plans, and when we go back to check, we come to discover that we are still walking according to what was written down.

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Signing those prenuptial agreements has not in any way helped the world to have a better home; if it has not helped, why then do they still go ahead to do it? Most homes that run this way have already made up their minds that a day will come when they will not be together anymore, especially for divorce. Now this agreement that's been spoken about is totally different from the regular will that a person prepares in case he is no more.

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As a way of concluding, it is best for the two persons involved to properly define their purpose, be clear that they have things in common, and be ready to support each other's pursuit. Do away with selfishness and seek the good of the family; if there are red flags, walk away if there are no meeting points. Don't build your marriage on third parties convictions, as they won't be there when marriage storms come up. Every marriage does have its ups and downs, and the ability to stand in times of the storms will make the union stronger. In all, the couple will grow stronger in union when they keep getting to a meeting point in issues that relate to them, knowing that they are from totally different backgrounds.

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For a long time, this is my longest post. I can actually continue, but let me put a stop here. Thank you for staying with me to this point. My entry to the last edition of this week's contests in this amazing community.