The Pain And Guilt Of The Past

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Peer pressure can be challenging especially when one is susceptible. Just like what one of the authors said, “peer pressure can be positive and negative".
When you are in the company of friends that are positive in thinking and acting; such one will have a positive mindset.
On the other hand, when you are in the company of friends who are negative in thinking and acting, you will have a negative mindset. That is the reason we need to study someone before making him/her your friend.
Peer pressure can make one commit mistakes that will take a longer time to heal.
Up to this moment, many people are living with pain of the past. They could not forgive themselves from such a mistake.
I want to tell you the story of my neighbor and her husband.
Mrs Mary was happily married to a wonderful husband. The name of her husband is called Gideon. She called her husband ‘my better half’ and her husband called her ‘my only one’. They gave birth to two children, a boy and a girl. The older one is 4 years and the younger one is a year old.
There chat was very interesting.

My only one said, My better half, how are you? When coming from office today, buy me shawarma’. I'm craving for shawarma today.”
My better half replied, “the country economy is not good right, we need to remove shawarma from our menu. We should make garri a substitute for shawarma to save money.”

My only one replied," wonder shall never end. From the beginning the world has been experience economic meltdown. I know you are joking a lot. I know what you can do! Where are you now? I'm waiting for you. I have missed you.”
My better half, "I know the reason you missed me.”
My only one, " what is the reason? “
My better half replied, “because of shawarma! You need the shawarma so bad."
My only one, “you are not serious! Even when I did not ask of it, you do buy it for me. Your body is hot because you haven't seen me for 8 hours that is the reason you talk like this. I'm home waiting for you; I'm not going anywhere where. Drive with caution, don't be hurry because you want to see me."

It was a sweet marriage that people were praying for such marriage.
One day, the wife saw messages from her husband's phone around 10:00 pm.
My only one said, “My better half, what kind of messages? You have been having affair with someone outside. So, this is the reason you go out by 8:00pm and come back 9:30 pm?”

" It is not like that” replied my better half.
But the wife (my only one) did not listen to her husband; she was really angry. The argued until 11:30 pm.
The husband could not endured the insults from his wife. He left his apartment and was on the compound. His wife came outside their apartment and followed her to the compound.
My better half, why holding my shirt? Leave me alone? “
My only one replied, " you are infidel husband, you are having affair with someone outside. You are a stupid husband, you are a mad husband. I won't leave you today.”

That was how the husband get angry and went out of the compound.
As he was going, close to his house, thieves were in operations. When they saw him, they thought it was one of the security in the street. They shot him and he died instantly. That was how he died.

After the thieves went, they called the wife at home, telling her the bad news.
By the time she saw her husband, it was his death he saw.

The Pain and the Guilt
It was discovered that the message she saw on her husband's phone was from one of his siblings. The message was from the last born.
The wife could not forgive herself. She could not talk for 2 weeks.
After the family of the husband discovered that she was the one that caused the death of her husband, they left her alone to bear the consequences.

She felt guilty of the death of her husband; she was crying, sober, weeping for months. Whenever she thought of the scenario, she blamed herself. The family of her husband left her, her parents scolded her.
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Why Did She Behaved Like That?
She had married women as friends, the name of the first one was Grace and she called her Mama Paulina because her first daughter was Paulina.
Whenever she was with Mama Paulina; Mama Paulina always said, “My wife cannot have affair outside the marriage; If I find out that he's having affair, I will never allow him to rest, I will use my last breath to fight him.
The name of her second friend was Nike and she her first child was Abraham. Therefore, the called her Mama Abraham.
Mama Abraham said, “the day I discovered that my husband was having affair with a student in university, I broke her head with a stick. The house was hot for him that night, he was the one that took himself to hospital that night for treatment. Since then, he never try such a thing again. You can't use gentleness to deliver a married man from such a thing. You must take it out from his hands by force.”

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What is the consequences of the past mistakes
The memory may never be forgotten: I always heard that ‘forgive and forget’, but you may never forget such incident. It may come to hunt you down emotionally, socially and physically. It will always come to our mind unless you find the replacement. If she did not find the replacement of her husband, she may never recover from it.

It can cause psychological problems: yeah! She couldn't talk for 2 weeks; right now she's like someone that have no one.
I was greeting her a few days, she did not hear me. I greeted her for more than 5 times.
Her neighbor said, “Chris, she's not ok; Her family is planning to take her to psychiatric hospital.”
Tear was coming out of my eyes.

You may not get yourself back again: even if she sees another husband, it may not be like her first husband. The happiness and joy may not be like her first love.

*Prevention"
Choose your friend wisely: all what she learned from her friends was in her head. At that moment she saw messages on her husband's phone, there was nothing she remembered than what she heard from her friends.
“You look like a book you love to read" that was what happened to her.

Reduce your Temperament: there is nothing good a high temperament with do rather than cause you pain. She should have control her temperament.

In conclusion, peer pressure is not only happen to adolescents, it happens to anyone. Beware of the company of friends you associate with, they have power to influence your attitudes, behaviors and characters.

I stand up for success, and success is not achieved by merely making mouth, No room for laziness, no room for idleness. Success comes to the people who are desperately and consciously searching for it. When it seems unsuccessful or you smell failure around you, never discourage yourself from being successful.
“Discouragement and failure are the two surest stepping stones to success.” - Dale
Thank you for reading my post.

This is #aprilinleo Day 11.

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