Gladiator (My Sword).

Thinking is one of the states in which I lose myself more often.

Losing myself (in thinking) means traveling in thoughts (back or forward), it doesn't matter to me, they both are useful.

I don't usually get to plan my thinking time though.
It's like...

After dinner it'll be a good time to do some thinking and then go to bed for some whatever comes up.(Let's mark that pending in the scheduled activities for tonight)

Heck no. Thinking just comes out of the blue(Although sometimes I stop and do some thinking on a specific important matter that requires it). I'm just standing, seating or laying anywhere after whatever I did before and then I go into it, just like that, and I see it clearly, the past or even the future , the past is clearer though, I already lived it, so, no changes will ocurr( just some retrospective analysis).

In one of those retrospective thinking moments while relooking my action movie I thought... Fuckballs!!! I've used my sword through life more than what a champion gladiator before getting his freedom could have used his, but the it's s still sharp.😁

Some might see this(the high level of my sword activities) as an accomplishment. Well, it's a compendium of experiences I don't regret and enjoyed, that also gave me a lot of teachings as well as the perspective of what I really wanted(for my sword and myself). A Gladiator fights (or used to fight back then) for his freedom, his freedom lays in the succes of his sword to get him through battles in one peace but victorious as well, not me, I was a slave of my sword. The battles it fought (most of them) left me a defeat sensation even when others could see them as victories, cause the sword fought well(and it mostly did) and the battle process was a seemingly successful one. So, for me it was not an accomplishment but I'm grateful of those multiple , hundreds, thousands(who's counting anyway?), ....battles and what they taught me(that I'm using fucken well now that's worth it ).