When Love Becomes a Calculator

Even before Valentine's Day, I have seen a lot of posts and videos about 50/50. I have heard some people say that a real relationship should be based on splitting the bills, some said it should not and that the man should take care of all the bills because he is a "man". I have lived through all this confusion, so sometimes I just allow people to say what they want to say.

I remember one of my relationships; we both decided to do things the modern way by agreeing to split the bills just to see what things would look like. At the beginning, things were going so easy because we both had a side hustle we were doing even though we were in our final year. But along the way, things started drifting apart because we were keeping scores of who to pay for this next item and who to pay for that item. Sometimes, she gets something, and she jokingly tells me, but deep down I know it was not a joke.

In my country, this month might be very sweet, while the following month might not be as sweet as expected. At times, the money I make this month might not be up to the money I make the following month, and as some of us know, the payment of salaries might fluctuate, and the delay might slow down some responsibilities, and the other person might need to shoulder the responsibility. And I have seen a situation where the money a particular person was expected to contribute dropped, and for that month, he was not able to contribute his 50% as requested, and instead of him feeling supported, it was otherwise for him.

And to be honest, some of the things that I have seen have changed how I see it, and that is why I say that for those of us living in this country, loving someone should not be based on 50/50 because we know how things work. Because some days might not look promising and it might be 30/70, some days it will be 40/60, and if there is true love between both, what really matters is far beyond the percentage but the willingness to always be there for one another no matter what.

I know some might not support my idea because I know that partnership is all about what the two parties want for each other right from the start. But there will be some times when one of us will be weak, and that is where the other person comes in. For a relationship to truly work, roles might sometimes change, and that is why both parties should always help each other, be there for one another, be each other's helpmate, not a mathematics classroom, because balance will naturally set in if both people are truly committed to making things work, not the other person draining their partner.

Thank you for reading.

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