The First Person I Had to Learn to Love #276

February 14 was last week Saturday, just three days ago, and before then, I had seen a lot of people post different things about it on my WhatsApp, vendors advertising stuff to buy for lovers, and on that day, I saw different videos and pictures of people going on dates even though people have now attached different meanings to Valentine's Day, and this sometimes makes me wonder, are people now starting to impress one another and show off because of this particular Feb 14? When I did my research, I saw that the main reason for Val is to celebrate friendship and love, not what people have now turned it into, and in celebrating the love and friendship, one must always come first.

I am the type of person who has always been there for my guys, most especially people around me, and in fact, I sometimes help people I meet online, and most of the time when I need help, I sometimes feel alone, like no one is always there for me. I always show up for others who need my help; if I don't help in full, I do my part, but I have not really considered myself first. I have always been very strict and not kind to myself.

Everything became vivid to me a time ago when I made a financial mistake that almost left me with nothing. I felt like it had ended, and the voice that kept playing in my head was mine, it was something very painful, and at that very moment I got to know that if I cannot be gentle on myself, no one is ever going to do it for me no matter the love those around me show.

And that was when I began to admire and give myself self-love, which has been totally incredible. I started giving myself rest when I needed it. I give myself another chance when I make a mistake. I started proclaiming good words on myself. Instead of comparing myself to others, I started working towards growth that will help me and not steal away my joy, and since I started doing these little little things, I have seen changes within and around me.

So at the moment, I still show love to those around me, most especially my friends and family. But now, I have realized that I am my only best friend and no one is going to appreciate and love me like I do, and that is why I always tell myself sometimes every morning, most especially if I am looking at myself in the mirror, that if I cannot appreciate myself, how do I expect others to do that for me? Because it's the way I carry myself, that's how others will also carry me.

Thank you for reading.

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