Overcoming money shame and embracing financial resilence

Mr Emeka is a rich successful businessman, so we thought, not until we saw a lawyer accompanied by the police come to take over his house where he lives with his family, 'Honey, what is happening?' His wife kept asking him while he bowed his head in shame, not even trying to defend his house from being taken over, apparently, he was going through some money crises and took a loan from the bank using his family house as collateral without discussing it with his wife or anybody at that, and now he's been forced to move out of his house with his family to the street, what a depending thing to happen.

You would think talking about money is so easy since we listen, read, and even handle money every day of our lives, but do you know that people experience what is called 'Money Shame'? This is the emotion we feel when we go through financial struggles or do not meet our financial expectations, we compare ourselves to others who we feel are doing much better, and worst still, we fail to talk about how we feel and just hold all the depressing thoughts inside till things get out of hand like the case of Mr Emeka, he is known to be an affluent man, what he fails to understand is that as long as we are human, it is normal to experience down moments in our finances, even in business, in trying to sustain his ego and the way people look up to him, respect and all, he kept mute, not discussing his money challenges with anyone, not even his family, that's so bad.

In this post, I will be sharing practical steps that we can follow to overcome the emotional burden known as 'Money Shame', we might have felt this emotion at one point in life even for the lead of things, you can't afford your fees or pay your bills, instead of hating yourself, feeling depressed and not talking to anyone, what do you do instead?

Stop comparing yourself with others only to feel depressed

While there is something known as healthy comparison, that is, you get motivated to do better when you see your peers exceeding, that is healthy and good because you don't feel bad for yourself when you are below them, but when you do, try to avoid comparison, Money shame is a complex emotional response rooted in societal expectations, comparison, and individual financial experiences. Social media is a huge contributor to this, you see your friends showing off expensive lifestyles probably when you are in your down moment financially, you begin to compare yourself, feeling guilt and shame for not meeting society's standard, the fear of judgment and the desire to maintain a certain image can contribute to the reluctance to discuss financial struggles openly, so if this is you, stop comparison, and try to avoid situations or regularly checking the social media account that makes you feel worthless, rather spend that time on building your self up.

Self-Reflection and Acceptance

It is one thing to know that things are not going well with your finances and another to accept, check yourself, and acknowledge that negative feeling or judgment you have about yourself, also, it is very important for you to accept the fact that it is okay not to meet society expectations sometimes, and problems shared is half solved especially when it involves your finances, you can learn from other's experience.

Normalize Financial Conversations

Talking about money seems like a taboo for so many, I know a lot of humans cannot be trusted with money, but there is still someone you can trust, don't keep mute when you are faced with financial challenges, learn to initiate open conversations with trusted friends, family or financial advisors. Normalizing discussions about financial challenges helps reduce the stigma and fosters a supportive environment, your family won't love you less when you are going through some financial challenges, rather will show you more care and support.

Set Realistic Goals

Setting unrealistic goals can make you feel unproductive, rather than compare yourself, make sure to set goals that align with your values and circumstances, you can't aim to buy a $100,000 worth of car when you only earn $50 monthly, focus on your little achievement, celebrate your self and aim for consistent growth don't over pressurize yourself. Setting realistic goals promotes a positive relationship with money.

Financial Education

Most financial challenges are due to a lack of the right financial knowledge, make sure to equip yourself with financial knowledge to make informed decisions. Understanding basic financial concepts that can help you alleviate financial stress, by being practical with the knowledge gathered either from reading finance articles or seeking guidance from other reputable sources, can help you take back control of your financial situation.

Practice Self-Compassion

Learn to love yourself, especially when faced with financial challenges, and know that down moments are part of life and we can always bounce back better than before, not bringing too hard on yourself, makes it easier for you to focus on areas that need improvement rather than worrying, and succumbing to shame. imagine you had a friend faced with the same challenge, how would you treat such a friend? With empathy of course, instead of being too hard on yourself.

Money shame is a pervasive emotional experience, but it can be overcome through self-reflection, open communication, and a shift in mindset. By acknowledging and addressing the root causes of money shame, individuals can cultivate a healthier relationship with finances and work towards financial well-being without the burden of shame. Remember, your financial journey is unique, and embracing it with self-compassion is a crucial step toward a more positive and empowered future.

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