Smashed My Reputation For Survival.
There was this experience I had as a kid that wouldn't just get out of my head, it happened during a time in my life when surviving was quite challenging not just for me but my family. It wasn't a pleasant one but this experience reminds me of not just where I am coming from but where I am going in life. I have only shared this story with my wife and wouldn't mind saying it here as well as an entry to the second Hive Learner's prompt topic for this week.
Being the son of a disciplinary officer and a Christian made me live a certain way of life, we were taught a lot of things in the children's Sunday school about living the life of Christ and I knew that doing things contrary to God's commandments will lead me straight to hell. Aside from my family being devoted Christians, there were things my mom mustn't catch me doing so I was this very good kid in the neighbourhood and a lot of people loved me for that. I was humble, obedient and possessed any good habit you can think of.
My behaviour then made a lot of people trust me with things and I was famous because kids with such behaviour weren't easy things to come by in the environment where I grew up.
All of these came with a challenge since many people love to send me errands. They know I won't cheat and the tips I got wouldn't make me say no either. I had a piggy bank that I always wanted to fill up just to support my mom so I didn't have issues with running errands for people.
On this fateful day, we had nothing at home to eat and Mom didn't have any money on her. She went out for a while and returned empty-handed, I saw disappointment written all over her face and I knew what was going through her mind.
We sat in the house staring at each other when someone came looking for me, it was a grandma who lived in my compound and we also attended the same church. She needed catfish and wanted me to help her get it. She handed me the exact money for the fish and I knew there wouldn't be any tip for me.
While going there, I felt like it wouldn't be a bad idea if I bought less than what she sent me and lied to my mom that someone gave me money while running errands and we could use the money to eat anything.
It was a challenging choice to make and for the first time, I didn't buy the exact thing I was sent. I bought the catfish and kept the balance, my heart was pounding as I returned home.
"What if she caught me? Wouldn't this be an embarrassment?" I thought about many things as I trekked back home but getting food for my family clouded my judgment.
Upon arriving at the grandma's place, she wasn't at home. I went back home and met her still talking to my mom.
I gave her the catfish and my hands started shaking. My mom noticed it and the stare she gave me wasn't nice, she knew something wasn't right even from my trembling voice.
"This fish is too small, why will they sell this size at that price? You have to return it, in fact let's go there together," Grandma said angrily while showing my mom the fish I brought.
Immediately Mom looked at me again, she told Grandma not to stress herself and volunteered to go back to the fish seller with me. Grandma was happy my mom would save her the stress and while we were going, I opened up to Mom about what I did.
She rebuked me immediately and I felt terrible. It was unusual of me but seeing my family helpless triggered my action. Mom made it clear that things aren't done that way, she quoted several bible passages and assured me that things would be alright.
We returned the fish and got the exact size which made Grandma happy when we got back home. It wasn't long after we returned home when someone who my mom worked for came to pay the balance she was owing and we had enough food that lasted us for some time.
Throughout that week, I felt bad even though I was still a kid. My conscience wouldn't let me be and it was really disheartening.
"What if she had caught me?" I asked myself several times because it would have been really embarrassing for me.
I promised myself never to cheat just because I needed something badly and no matter how long or tough it might be, I would rather labour to get what I needed. To prevent such from happening further, I made up my mind to be successful enough to take care of my family. It's been decades now and I bless God for how far we have come.
All images in the post were captured by me.
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
Posted Using InLeo Alpha
I used to tell my friends never to have confidence in their righteousness because life can throw bitter situations at you that can make you even forget that you are a born again if God doesn't help you.
You were such a good kid, I can relate with what happened, no child wants to see his parents suffer, it doesn't always look nice but going the wrong way to put smiles on their faces is not a good idea. Thank God you weren't caught, it would have spoiled your reputation.
You are right bro and sometimes, I laugh when people brag about righteousness.
I asked them if they had truly been tested before and when they shared their experience, I just laughed because they haven't been in a situation where the only way forward is unrighteousness.
I am glad I wasn't caught because it would have been a really messy situation for me.
Hehehe, that's life sir, we get tested to become better everyday. God will see us through.
That was a very difficult choice you made though it looked like it was for the right reasons. You did what you considered was right by doing what was against your values as a Christian. I can understand how agonising that must have been especially being your first time during such a thing. Survival has a way of pushing our limits.
It was really difficult and that day, I learned that nothing should make us turn our back on our values as Christians.
It's in the past though but I still have the memories fresh because of how I felt that day.
I understand how much you wanted to make your mom happy and I might have done something like that too. But I really love the wisdom your mom applied there. She didn't allow the grandma go to find out that you cheated. Your mom made sure she covered up for you but rebuked that act.
Many times I would want to go out of my way to get something, bad ways but those words my parent had said to me and the bible verses quoted over and over always have a way of stopping me from going the other round.
You get the story very well bro, seeing our families struggling can prompt us to do some things that we shouldn't.
I am glad my mom intervened because I was very scared.