Giving What I Can Afford To Let Go.
Giving out what I can only afford to lose has been my style after so many bad experiences with loaning people money, I give what won't hurt me and don't have expectations of getting the money back. I don't take what I am giving as a loan and won't tell the person my intentions as well, I always allow them to reveal who they are. With my little time on earth, I have realized that dealing with people financially can make you see the true nature.
I do take loans too and feel restless after, the repayment becomes my priority and it baffles me how people feel very comfortable breaching loan agreements. I am not a saint, I have done that before because of a reason beyond my control but I made sure that I informed the person involved as soon as possible and made the payment immediately after the cause for the delay was taken care of.
I am someone who will not burn bridges because of money issues. I don't like having misunderstandings with people when it has to do with money, I always tell myself that there won't be another time if you fail to fulfil your side of the agreement.
Adopting the style explained above has worked quite well for me, it's like rendering assistance at my comfort the best way I can instead of giving a loan. Already, I am not financially buoyant and it wouldn't make sense for me to put myself at risk of giving a loan with a slim chance of getting it back.
The last I did give a loan, like a real loan was about two years ago. I broke my tradition due to my relationship with this person and it didn't end well.
This person runs a POS shop and I do patronise her, we became close and I usually feel pity for her because of her marriage and how hardworking she was. Whenever we are chatting, she always told me to lend her money but I always divert the conversation because I didn't have any more to spare.
As time passed, I noticed she goes to the bank too often and from my observations, I discovered that she runs the business will small capital and I felt she could do better if she had enough money to trade with.
She mentioned something about loaning her some money again and at that time, my fiancee was saving some money with me for her shop. The money was just there so I decided to borrow her and the agreement was that once I need it, she will give it back.
It was easy, the money will save her the stress of rushing to the bank now and then. It will boost her profit and that is fair since I don't even have the intention of taking an interest.
I transferred the money after we had an agreement and the time came when I needed the money. She transferred 30% of the money at first and started hiding.
At first, I didn't see it as anything until weeks passed and my fiancee thought I didn't want to give her the money. To cut the story short, I didn't get 70% of the money back.
I had to raise the money for its purpose and opened up later to her about the money and I remembered how long it took me to beg her not to confront the woman. I asked severally but she always gave me time and didn't do anything. The thought of taking legal action since we had a partially documented agreement crossed my mind but it would only affect her more because I know her condition but she is not just being considerate and as usual, I let go just like I have always done to others in the past.
I didn't let the issue stop me from patronizing her because whenever I think of her children, I feel sorry for her. I assumed the money was lost, I have lost more than that and didn't kill myself but she automatically prevented herself from getting a huge favour from me.
During the scarcity of cash due to the new note late last year, one of my mommies in the neighbourhood who runs a large business told me she had heavy cash at home.
She asked if I have a trusted POS shop that can pay some cash for it, she wasn't even insisting on getting the whole money immediately. I told her I didn't have any despite knowing that there was someone who could make a fortune out of it.
In the end, I got someone ready to do a transfer of the whole money and that was how she missed out on it. There are several other instances that she could have benefitted from me but what she has done before wouldn't make me put her into consideration because she might do worse. I still render little assistance but not something that will hurt me in any way.
Aside from my fiancee and brother, I haven't told anyone about this to prevent any form of embarrassment for the woman. If that didn't happen, she would have gotten more opportunities and if she did refund the money, who knows what would happen if I had trusted her with more?
To prevent myself from issues like this, I just do what's within my ability. If it is not enough, it doesn't bother me as long as I have done the best I can.
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Thanks so much @george-dee ,i love your piece.
Hmm, one need to be very careful with things like this, this are things that can lead to problem and fight between two tight friend.
To me if they are asking for money in the first place they don't and will never have the money to pay back. It's the principle and how they value your friendship. I'm sadly learning in the hard way. I lent money to a friend who's awful with money a year later they still owe me.
It would interest you to know that people have lost their lives just because they were trying to recover the money they loaned someone.
The world is delicate and people would go at any length to do evil because of money. The best is to give what you can let go, my expectations on people have dropped really badly and doing that gives me peace of mind.
$PIZZA slices delivered:
@bhattg(7/10) tipped @george-dee
Some people do not think of another time they would need help and once they breach an agreement, it is difficult for the victim to help or support another time. You did a nice thing even though you dare not bring any opportunity to her with what she has done. Giving out loans is very risky because we don´t trust people except for those close to us like our families who we know they will pay and if not, they are still our family. It is the reason I give out what I can afford instead of loaning and regretting.
A lot of people have adopted the idea of just giving what they can afford just to avoid problems. It's best to do what's convenient for us than what's gonna cause problems.
Thanks for the comment.
Exactly. Do what you are capable of doing to avoid any issues in the future.
Lending out what you can really afford to lose is the only option as it seems as people can't be fully trusted.
Trust is a huge thing, hard to earn but people don't hesitate to throw it to dust after earning it.
That's the problem when we rescue people of their situation and they won't make good of their promises. Too bad for that friend of ours who kept missing the opportunity you afforded her.
She might think she was smart but it is the other way round. She is missing out on things that could have benefited her.
Before taking any action in life, it is important we always put tomorrow into consideration.
It's really such a wasted opportunity for her.
And I agree, with you. Although it is best to live at present but when it comes to financial matters, we do need to consider the times ahead.
I would rather make every effort not block my future favour than to hide over my loan. Chai...some people cannot be trusted with little, imagine what they will do if you give them more..
Well, this is a lesson learnt for many of us reading . and I respect your opinion on this George
She blocked the favour by herself..the best thing she should have done is to come around and explain why the delay and define her possible way of paying back
Currently I am on a loan and each day, I remember it and work on fulfilling my agreement to avoid blocking road for others and perhaps for myself in the future
Thanks for sharing
This is another thing I always take into consideration before loaning people money, is there a means for them to pay back, what is the worst that can happen, that will determine if I will loan them the amount they ask for or just lend them the little I feel i can afford to lose...
The woman didn't do well at all, I understand she has issues that need money but still a debt is something that needs to be paid, if you are sure you can't pay it back, don't take it... for her mind, you have forgotten about the money but then she missed out on more blessings from you
I think sometimes we believe others and trust them and try to help them but they try to scam with us. They think our kindness is our weakness but they are wrong. I don't like such a kind of person. Besides I believe that hiding isn't a solution to anything. If they are unable to repay they can speak it to us rather than hiding for us.
That's what people tend to always forget, it never ends with just once.
You might still need the assistance tomorrow and it's sad you won't get it because of what you did today.
You're really trying for the lady, I would have stopped patronising her because she would only remind me of my money
People just don't know that they ruin relationships just by refusing to pay debt. That way, even when you want to give them, their past acts will not let you. It's just annoying when you think of it.
Thank you for sharing this with us.