I am me: #6 - Private
Ding dong. [That's the door bell]
[I walk to the door and there you are, smiling expectantly and waiting for my invitation to come in.]
"Hello," I say pleasantly, "it's good to see you, welcome and come on in."
[A hug for the ladies and a hand shake or fist bump for the men happens as you walk through and just like that you're in my house.]
The reality of it isn't so simple though. I never answer my door unless I know someone is coming over, I don't even look who it is - I just don't care.
It's more like this...
Ding dong. [That's the door bell]
[I remain wherever I am in the house, focused on whatever I'm doing and think, would you fuck off you cunt!]
My house is more than that, just a house; it's my home, and I protect it fiercely.
I mean, I protect it physically and emotionally, the way it feels to me and my girlfriend and the fact that it's our special place away from the world. I'm also a very private person so it's rare I'd invite someone to my home unless I knew them very well first.
That's just how I am. Private.
I don't blast my personal business, or anything else for that matter, onto social media, I don't speak about my personal life with (many) friends and if I do it's filtered so as not to give away everything, or anything at all - information is power and I'd rather retain it. Besides, no one needs to know intimate details about my life, thoughts, finances, work-status, where I go or what I do.
It's private.
Having said that, I do invite people to my home and enjoy their company.
I'm a good host too: Accommodating, welcoming, generous and solicitous of their needs.
I do that as much for them as for myself myself. You see, because I'm so private, it's somewhat of an event when someone comes into my home and if I permit it I'd like to know they go away feeling they were well looked after, welcomed and catered for; I also have manners and courtesy and want to maintain that ethos.
But...I still don't divulge all my personal details to those few (really good) friends I allow into my home.
Why do people feel the need?
I do not know.
What I know for sure, is that maintaining privacy, filtering what gets out into the world, being selective with who I have around me and what access those people have or where I go and when, is something I feel is very important; far too much about people makes it out from behind closed doors and I don't think there's anything to gain. Besides, no one really cares most of the time anyway, they just want to gossip or to feel like your life isn't as good as theirs.
Most people are assholes.
Our homes are one of the only places we can truly call our own and that's sacred in my opinion.
Naturally, for those who rent their homes from others, there's exceptions and intrusions like landlord inspections, but typically we set up our homes the way we like them with a view to creating a space in which we feel safe and comfortable. That's how I do it anyway.
I know people may look at my home and not like what I've done with it but I like it, my girlfriend likes it and...well, that's all that matters just like how your place feels to you is all that matters.
What aspects of your house/apartment makes you feel at home, what elements have you added to make it feel "yours", do you mind people coming into it or are you selective like me and what about your level of general privacy? If you have comments please leave them and if not then...umm, don't I guess.
Design and create your ideal life, tomorrow isn't promised - galenkp
[Original and AI free]
Image(s) in this post are my own
Outsiders only see the flaws in our homes, and in my opinion, everyone builds their own home to suit their own comfort and security. The elements to be added and changed should be decided by the homeowner, not an outsider. When I come to my living room and sit on the sofa and when I come to my bedroom, I feel like I am staying at home. The arrangement of chairs in my living room and the elements in my bedroom are tailored to my taste. I have planned to build a wall around the garden to increase the security of the house, and I hope to finish it before December 20.
I welcome guests who come to my house with prior notice or invitation and can also offer them a good meal. Because everything can be organized in advance. My personal information is very private, so I do not want to talk about it with anyone. I share some sensitive information only with my best friend.
You say it well and I agree with your point of view.
Nothing like enjoying what's yours.
Living in a rented place, where you can't change anything, must be really uncomfortable.
I've never lived in a rented place thankfully, but yeah I'm sure it's not the best thing.
I would also add to keep private politics, that ends in endless arguing...
I like your house from what I see, ordered, comfortable, not colored like a rainbow... Interesting how you got parquet on the kitchen, here it's only in sleep rooms
Sadly I'm at rent, second floor apartment, so it just doesn't feel mine, what makes it feel home are my cats coming cheering when I'm back from work, the toys of the kid spread around... When someone rings I got the cam on the fence to check who it is, it could be the postal dude... I also don't like everyone to come, just selected people
May I get an invite if I come to Australia? 😉
I come home to my cat looking forward to that same greeting you mention, the feeling of that little animal being so happy to see me makes me happy no matter how bad my day might have been.
It must suck renting, I've never had to rent fortunately, but I imagine it to feel less settled than one's own house might feel.
I'm with you on the selected people comment...and yeah, if you come to Australia I'll invite over for a BBQ, you have to bring the Peroni though.
Just kidding...I'll get the drinks...but you have to bring cannolis!
And the best part is that people say only dogs show affection and cats don't care, this clearly shows how they love their human and they can show it
I could bring soppressa and salame which are typical of my region!
Yep, I agree. I've always felt that my cats know exactly how I feel, good or bad. I have coffee with Cleo every morning and we talk about various things; when I'm done with my coffee she licks the inside of the cup (her morning coffee) and sits there afterwards rubbing her face on mine. A good way to start the day.
Yep, sopressa, cheese and olives would work nicely. ✅
Oh wow first time I hear of cat licking cup of coffee! Rubbing face on yours, my old cat did this too, so sweet!
I think it's more symbolic than any real need for coffee, she likes to be with us and do what we do.
Since a couple of years ago, I left my mother (who didn't announce that she was coming to visit) at the door, when she rang the bell, I usually go to the front door and look on the camera to see who it is.
I'm like you, rare people enter my home and when they do, I ask them to be precise.
I remember one time, we agreed with good friends to come to dinner at 8 pm.
7:30 p.m. The doorbell rings, I come out of the bathroom with wet hair, wrapped in a bathrobe and barely let them in before the appointed time. They learned their lesson. Each subsequent time, they were accurate as clockwork.
And my whole apartment is my home.
For this reason, I don't like working from home, which I have as an option.
Now I'm at home, I'm working, because I'm a little sick today, but under regular circumstances, I don't practice that.
My home is a place where I sleep, watch TV, read, listen to music, prepare food, eat (and do other intimate things), and not a place where I should do business activities.
I understand, about not working from home although I don't find it too difficult. I guess maybe it comes down to available space. I don't live in an apartment and have a dedicated office which means I can work there separate from the rest of the house although, having said that, I don't tend to work much from home. I use the office for personal life stuff, trading and so on, emailing and all sorts of other things...it's also my library and is pretty well set up so I'm comfortable there.
A separate space equipped with an office chair and table is a prerequisite for working from home.
Although these pictures you sent are not of your home (you didn't write that, but since you protect your privacy, I can bet 🙂), I believe it is bigger than mine.
When I work, I have to sit at the dining table, which is not comfortable at all.
I prefer to work in my hammock...and when I say "work" I mean snooze.
Improvements: I haven't used a light switch in my house for almost a year. When I moved into this place, I put in sensors and voice activated stuff, so that (especially at night) I just need to move from room to room, and the light follows me. It is actually maddening when I have to use light switches at other locations.
Walk into the main bathroom at night? Lights come in in a nice warm colour, and the exhaust fan starts up automatically. After no movement is detected for 3 minutes, the lights fade to off.
But that isn't the only thing. I have cameras :) They're great for keeping an eye on the surroundings, deliveries, etc. :)
My video doorbell also means that If I have a delivery, I can remotely open the garage and ask the courier to put it in, right next to the bell (and another camera in the garage) verifies they're clear before I close the door again :)
In terms of privacy, I'd like to have a roller shutter on the front, but black out curtains do a good enough job for the time being.
That sounds cool, I like the idea of lights coming on (hallways etc.) by sensor and I have several scattered in those strategic locations I feel they are valid. I've never found light switches a challenge or onerous though so am happy to do that task manually. I also have various cameras and other security aspects that help make things safer.
The best sensor is the one in the garage and near the entrance. Hands full? Not a problem. Lights come on automatically.
Yeah, that's one of the better ones in my house too. I have all my hallways sensor-lit, bathroom/powder rooms and so on; basically, the higher traffic thoroughfares. It seems to work well.
A few days ago, I read a similar post and replied that it bothers me when people come to my house unannounced. If the doorbell rings and I know no one was coming, well... I pretend the doorbell didn't ring.
And that's how it is when you rent. In the first place I rented, the owner would come to inspect, mainly because she was afraid that Cata would be... I don't know, a ferocious panther! Where I am now... the people are lovely, I don't have a contract, and they never, ever come! Complete trust.
What does happen is that estate agents sneak into the building, which is against the law because it's forbidden to enter if no one opens the door, but they find ways to get in. But since the doorbell doesn't ring... I don't care.
I reckon I'd not like to be a renter, I'd probably
killbe very miffed with my landlord. Orkillbadly maim the estate agent.You know what? The first landlady was a woman and she hated men. I think that's why she rented to me. She adored me! She didn't want me to leave.
Where I am now, she even lets me do whatever renovations I want. This landlord doesn't want me to leave either.🤣
Some men are worth hating. Not all though.
Exactly, but this woman... she was completely mad!
Your house and the settings looks great 👍 and wonderful.
Living a private life is always comfortable and accommodating because you don't get to deal much with the outside noise.
Owning a house as a person makes life even more easier because you get to do what you want and set things up the way you want to without anyone restricting you.
Oh yeah, for sure; you're totally correct.
Now that we have added the gazebo to our deck I would have to say that area is probably my favorite part of our house. We put a bit of money into making it a nice space for us to hang out. I'm the same as you when it comes to people coming to my door. If I am not expecting you, I probably won't open the door. It's actually surprising that people still try the door to door sales route. You can't expect people to be happy to see you... Our dog used to give those folks hell when she was still with us.
I had a rottweiler who didn't mind a bit of human terrorising; Saturday mornings I'd put him in the front yard for when the religious door knockers alcane around. They used to cross to the other side of the street when they got to my house. Benson, (the dog), was pretty brutal. Of course, he was a big softy with us.
Like you, I have a few really favourite spots in my home that we've put a lot of effort into making exactly as we like. Well, the whole house really.
It was funny, our dog was actually the sweetest thing, but she had a loud bark, so people were always a bit afraid to come to the door. Even in the park without her barking they would give her a wide berth. I don't know if it was just because she was a bigger dog or because she was black or what.
Big, black dogs usually have the effect of scaring people and the louder the bark, the bigger the effect.
You have a beautiful home. I'm not surprised to hear you are so private and protective of your home, property and loved ones. In fact, I would surprised to hear otherwise.
I do not answer the door either, nor do I answer the phone without a valid caller I.D. If someone needs to get hold of me, they'll leave a message and I return the call promptly. Privacy is being eroded at a fast pace via electronics and I am averse to giving my privacy away any more than necessary. lol I say that as I sit here talking with folks from all over the world. Guess I am a hypocrite? lol, I've been called worse.
Thank you, it's somewhere we have created to feel a certain way. It's not about how many rooms or how big they are, it's about how they feel to us, their functionality and will they fit our needs. We like it.
Phone calls with no ID never get answered. You know what I never understand? People who call numbers back that rang in and didn't left a message. The whole, "I had a missed call from this number," thing. I don't get it, why take time to call back a missed call that couldn't even respect me enough to leave a message? Waste of life, I never call back.
As you say, privacy is eroding and I work to keep mine. As for digital comms like this? Well, if I stopped posting on Hive you'd never heard from me again or I you and that's somewhat sad considering the like-mindedness. Fact though. Some I have phone numbers for, Boomy and a couple people in The States and Finland, but others I value I do not. I guess where Discord comes in to some degree, but I'd miss others. Is it likely to happen? Yep, and there'll be no grand, "I'm leaving," posts just silence like...
Crickets.
Those people... I have seen some folk get frantic because the unknown number that called them but didn't leave a message doesn't answer when they call them back. I'm like Sheesh man get a grip!!
It's fucken bonkers man, how a person can get so wound up about it. Why are people so needy?
Remember "needy V?" That cunt was bonkers. I was just reminded of him when I typed the word needy. Lol.
Needy V, heh heh. Man how he thought he was intelligent and sophisticated and that we were boors. 🤣🤣 Fucking tool. He hated that name!!
He'd tee off for sure. Stupid fucker.
That sucks...the cricket part. I've thought about that as well. There have been some folks I interacted with from back in the steemy days that have left the platform and they cross my mind periodically, leaving me wondering if they survived the scamdemic lol. I am Tammy8261 on the Discord, and am not entirely sure how it works, but can possibly muddle through lol.
Yeah, I do the same with people as well, think about those who used to be around and are now not. I miss them. I keep in contact with a few here and there, those who have my mobile number, but mostly they're just gone.
I'm quite the opposite with my home. It's not "mine", it's rented, for starters. I made it my home throughout the years. Since I always lived with other people to share the rent and time, I never really cared about people coming in, and it's many of them. There are some very specific items, though, that are very exclusive to me, very important to my history and and who I became.
The first is on the door to enter my apartment:
It's a little card that my grandfather made. I found them a long time ago in the basement, after he had passed. There were around 70 of them, 5 different motives and poems or short sentences that he wrote. This one's my favorite, his catamaran on the Maledives. The poem reads:
The second one is a poem that my best friend during high school painted for me, placed right in front of the entrance next to a photo collage that Lily and my mom made for me:
It's Erich Fried's "What it is", a poem that I hold very dear as to what love mean. Of that, translations are readily available:
Needless to say, I'm not very private, which is also kind of impossible, having the restaurant downstairs. I do dream of a little house in a forest though, with not much humanity. I drew it once for your W-E.
Your house looks amazing. Like a model house. I really like the style, so much wood and natural material, even the rug looks really cool. A nightmare to keep clean, though, but you don't have that "kids" problem :-D Congratulations!
Rented homes are different for sure. I have several properties that I rent to others and I can only imagine what it's like to have my estate agent do inspections and all. I don't even allow them to have pets. (My houses, my rules). I'm a good landlord though and make sure good tenants are well catered for...and bad ones are gone.
I think, having cherished items in rented homes is important, it makes it feel more "yours" and that makes all the difference. I think you've shown me two such items and Incan understand their significance.
Anyway, thanks, we're very happy with our home and yes, it takes some time to clean but we do little things every day to keep it in that condition. I have a post about that soon.
I've noticed that a couple of times on folks I really thought they were close to me... Back when I was a kid I refused to believe that ages makes you wiser, or better said "salted", but I am starting to believe the opposite lately. I guess experience beats every personal development crap on the internet.
You have a really beautiful house btw. And I guess you deserve it. Enjoy it with your girlfriend for many years ahead(no free compliments)!
One of the things about "youth" is one doesn't know what one doesn't know yet...so experiences have to occur for that understanding or wisdom to come along. That you admit to how closed you may have been in the past shows growth and understanding...so the process is happening. 😊
Thanks, we love it and have put a lot of ourselves into it that speak to us and our needs. We feel comfortable and safe there and that's how a home should feel to its owner.
I appreciate your comment.
Hmm I am also pretty selective when it comes to inviting people to my place. I didn't do any housewarming parties because I didn't see the need to. I am quite a minimalist so there's a lot more space and not many items in the house - some people see it as a "waste" of space, but I enjoy the spacious-ness.
Creating a sense of space is nice I think, and removing unnecessary clutter is a way to do that.
It's nice how you have the shutters separating the sitting room from the room with the television. I've never seen a setup like that. This looks so peaceful!
The master bedroom makes me feel at home. It is mostly black, white, and grey and is the most comfortable room in the house.
Black, white, and grey is currently our favorite color combination. I've painted our garage walls grey and doors black to make it feel "ours". Also painted the kitchen cabinets black with stainless steel hardware and added white countertops.
Colours are an easy way to add some character and individualism to a house...cheap too, so can be changed easily.
You have a beautiful house; it looks comfortable and cozy. I don't usually receive visitors at home; I'm very reserved in that regard. Only my dear friend, who emigrated, came to visit me, and we spent several hours sewing. My favorite part of my house is the living room. We've furnished it with certain amenities, and I feel comfortable there. I also arranged my sewing space. Although it's small, it's comfortable, and I have everything I need to do what I love.
It's important to have a place like that to return to, close the door and lock out the rest of the world.
Yes, there's nothing like returning home after a trip or a day at work and resting. Home becomes a haven of peace and tranquility.
My Cats...
My Screened in Deck...
My Easy chair...
My Big Screen...
Where is Cleo by the way? I L👀ked and Z👀med for her. 😳
Hello galenkp!
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