💚 The Love for Every Season: A Personal Note

I’m not usually the kind of person who struggles with seasonal mood shifts. Sure, I get my usual bout of hay fever in spring, but beyond that, I genuinely embrace all four seasons. I love the Spring—the feeling of the days stretching out, the first time we can step outside without a heavy coat, and the glorious sight of nature reviving itself.

Summer is all about long, sun-drenched days (even if Belgium occasionally disappoints on the light front), usually filled with quality time with family and friends. When Autumn arrives, I look forward to the spectacular colours of the changing leaves and the cosy feeling of being tucked inside with a cup of tea while a storm rages outside. And Winter? I appreciate the crisp, sunny cold days, the special magic of Christmas, New Year's, and the sense that Easter, right around the corner, heralds the start of Spring again.

So, here is my question: If I love the winter and its charm, why does this year feel so unbearably heavy?

💥 The Unexpected Crash: Back to Reality

It started with a moment of real disappointment. We’d just returned from a truly uplifting trip to Egypt, soaking up the light and warmth that was desperately needed. But the transition back home was brutal: a sharp crash from sunshine into the cold, dark reality of November.

The first physical blow was the lost luggage. While we eventually got them back, the process was a nightmare: a frustrating cycle where all four parties involved kept pointing the finger at each other. This drawn-out, draining ordeal required a huge amount of energy and patience. This unexpected stressor set the tone for the exhaustion that followed.

📉 The Accumulation of Weight: What Makes This Winter Heavy

This year, the 'winter blues' isn't a seasonal ailment; it's a consequence of accumulated pressure that the short days have simply amplified. My bucket of mental energy is completely empty due to several converging factors:

• The Home Front (1): We are deep in the throes of teenage years. Our youngest is truly finding their footing in puberty, which requires a constant supply of patience and energy that I currently lack.

• The Partner Factor (2): My wife is definitely suffering from the winter/autumn blues, and understandably so. This means I take on the role of the primary supporter, which, while necessary, drains my own emotional reserves even further.

• The Work Front: Professionally, I'm stuck in a holding pattern. There is no visible progress, and this lack of momentum has left me feeling thoroughly demotivated and frustrated.

• Social Tolerance is Zero: This mounting fatigue has started to bleed into my friendships. I find myself increasingly irritated by the behaviour of my closest friends. This tension reached a point where, last Tuesday, I made the drastic decision to skip our regular pool game. I was simply too tired and knew that my lowered tolerance would only lead to strained atmosphere, and that was a risk I didn't want to take.

💡 Conclusion: A Moment of Honest Acknowledgment

This year, the darkness isn't coming from outside; it’s coming from the weight of life itself. The winter air isn't the problem, but it certainly isn't helping me carry the load.

The truth I must face is a frustrating paradox: I know the only way to pull myself out of this slump is by taking action, but doing so requires the energy that this very slump has completely depleted.

It’s an exhausting cycle, and one I suspect many people can relate to. This isn't just Seasonal Affective Disorder; this is what happens when real-life stress piles up during the darkest part of the year.

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