We all know the drill. The lights are up, the Christmas tree is decorated, and the promise of family time and turkey is just around the corner. But in our house, the festive spirit is currently battling a heavy fog of stress: December Exams.

As a parent, the frustration is palpable. My oldest is repeating his 5th year of high school. We’ve invested in private tutoring and he switched streams (from Human Sciences to Welfare Sciences) to find a better fit. After a strong start to the year, I now see him "resting on his laurels." His work ethic isn't exactly winning awards. Seeing him nap the afternoon away after school feels like watching precious time being thrown out the window. Pff.

Then there is the youngest. He switched from STEM to Modern Languages/Sciences. His grades are good, but here is the catch: he doesn’t have to lift a finger. He coasts on talent. I worry he’s setting himself up for the same wall his brother hit—learning how to learn too late.

But then, I have to place this in perspective.

When I look in the mirror, I realize that karma is real. To my own parents: I am sorry. I finally understand what I put you through.

I wasn’t just a "distracted" student; I was a handful. I also repeated my 5th year of high school. I was rebellious, constantly arguing with teachers, and even got into a physical altercation once. It wasn't surprising when I eventually got kicked out of school that year.

My higher education wasn't much better. I started with University Economics. While interesting, I quit the moment I realized it actually required... well, work. I switched to Applied IT at college (Hogeschool). Looking back, I think I attended classes for maybe 10 days during that entire first year.

• I would discover the night before an exam that I was missing half the course material.
• I walked into oral exams and had to introduce myself to the professor because they had never seen my face before.
• In my second year, I survived purely because group work carried my grade.

I am still baffled that I passed that first year. Or to be honest that I did graduate "Cum Lauda" based on my grades!

The Difference: "All Hands on Deck"

Despite my lack of attendance, when exam week arrived, it was panic mode. It was all hands on deck. That is the one thing I feel my kids are missing right now—that sense of urgency.

Granted, we didn't have the distractions they have today (laptops, constant smartphone notifications). On the flip side, they have tools we could only dream of, like asking AI to explain complex concepts instantly.

The Parenting Paradox

Now that I am older and looking back at my own academic train wreck, I try to be a reasonable parent. My wife and I are fairly liberal:

• We believe they are allowed to make mistakes, provided they learn from them.
• We are there to support them, not to steer them.
• We are responsible for giving them the opportunities, but they are responsible for doing something with them.

We try to motivate them, but we cannot force it.

So, to all the parents biting their tongues while watching their kids procrastinate this month: hang in there. Look at me. Despite the rebellion, the skipped classes, and the academic chaos, I managed to land on my feet.

If I could find my way, there is hope for them yet.

Now, where is that beer?

Peter

Posted Using INLEO