RE: I Feel That I Deserve My Pain... But I'm Trying To Stop

I did actually go to an expert several years ago, the first time this happened. At that time, it had been insiduously developing over the course of several years until I reached breaking point. I didn't want medications then, so I used some mindfulness techniques to bring myself out.

The second time was worse, much worse. No amount of attempts at mindfulness worked. Only my Mom could convince me to help myself. I knew ending my life would devastate her, so she's the only reason I'm alive.

This third time, the low was quite bad, and close to the 2nd time, but appears to be resolving quicker. This time, I was very quick to catch it and address it. Once again, my Mom convinced me to resume the medications I had taken myself.

I'm just glad that I have the knowledge to be able to treat myself for now. Nevertheless, it would be amazing to be able to get off of it someday, even no I don't detect any side effects. I'm just not sure whether that's actually going to happen based on what transpired this time.

Cheers, brother!