Helping Doesn't Mean Hurting Yourself, Knowing Where to Draw the Line

Hi guys, happy New Week! I hope we all had an amazing and restful weekend.

Financially assisting someone, a friend, a sibling, or even a relative, is a good and helpful thing to do, but if abused, it can become strenuous, leading to some form of financial or emotional strain on the person rendering the help. Hence, there is a need to address the issue or set boundaries that can be helpful to both parties.

At what point is it necessary to set boundaries and turn down someone who needs financial help despite our natural instinct to assist others?

Setting boundaries can sometimes be difficult especially when not done at the beginning, because the receiver has gotten so used to asking and getting without any form of hesitation, hence the reason why I said it could become difficult.

Setting boundaries is simply establishing what is okay, what is reasonable, and what is comfortable; it's more like putting up a threshold above or beyond which you're not willing to go. Boundaries are often very important in rendering financial assistance, and setting them on time can be really helpful so that no one begins to feel cheated or entitled.

If you're beginning to feel financially strained due to the help you're rendering to a person, more like helping someone financially is beginning to take a toll on your finances, I believe it’s your cue to put a boundary on that relationship. Because you cannot help someone at the detriment of your own finances, this is the point to set things straight without sentiment.

Some people take your good financial gesture for granted and begin to abuse it; today, they are asking for assistance, and the next week, they are at it again, cooking up another story that needs your assistance. They come again and again until it begins to get tiring. I can tell you, it's time to set things straight without feeling bad for the person in question.

The first thing to do when setting this boundary is assess yourself and how much you comfortably give out without being affected. You have to think about it and decide not to give more than what will bite you in your back.

Having an honest conversation with this person is a must; let them know that as much as you love and care about them, there has to be a limit. Explain to them that this is not you being wicked, but rather protecting yourself so you don't run entirely dry or ruin the beautiful relationship you both share. Subtly explain to them how this approach will be beneficial to them as they would learn to become financially independent.

While doing this, you could decide to help them in nonfinancial ways, like helping or introducing them to other streams of income using their skills. You could also offer to help them budget their finances as well, as some people it's not like they don't have any, but they are unable to maximize the little they have, and before you know it, they're broke and running to you for financial assistance. So helping them set their budgets right or guiding them on how to spend wisely and not foolishly can go a long way to actually better their lives.

These are some steps you could consider in setting boundaries, these are my opinions, but if you have something contrary or an additional step, feel free to leave it in the comment section so we can all learn.

All images are mine except otherwise stated.

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All images are mine except otherwise stated

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