Communication; The Basis of Relationships

Hello dearies; welcome back to my blog; I hope you had an awesome weekend.

Growing up, I didn't know how to express myself; I let many things slide because I couldn't bring myself to confront or bring up issues that I had with people around me. At most, I would just say, let peace reign, even though I was feeling nothing but peace.

What does effective communication mean to you? Do the people you come across on a daily basis practice it? Do you also practice it? What tips do you think would help you or someone out there communicate effectively?

Communication is the heart and soul of every relationship; it's the basis upon which relationships thrive. Without communication, I cannot tell what you're thinking, and you obviously cannot tell what is going on in my head.

Effective communication goes beyond just talking; there's the listening part, the understanding part, and the responding part based on what was understood. So many times, we just talk and feel like we've passed our message or we've communicated, not bothering to know if the other person understood the information that we supposedly have passed.

I was once listening to a relationship counselor, and she said during the early days of her marriage, when her husband did something to her, she would sulk for days, and her husband would carry on like nothing happened, although he kept asking her if all was well, if she was ok, or if there was something he had done, and she kept saying nothing.

In her mind, she kept saying, “Doesn't this man know what he did to me?” expecting him to remember the offense he committed, but truthfully, he didn't know that he even offended her.
The husband in question was a pastor; she said during that time, he would be praying so much in the night, and she would be like you offended me, you haven't apologized, and you're busy praying. After some time, she noticed that everything was weighing on her while her husband was carrying on like nothing happened. She had to advise herself to speak to him about anything he did that offended her.

When she told him “didn't you know you did this or that to me, and it got me upset?” he said oh that he didn't know, and asked if that was why she was acting cold, that he thought she was sober and trying to build her relationship with God more, that was the reason why he also decided to pray so much. He then apologized to her and told her to always tell him whatever he does that doesn't sit well with her immediately it happens so that he knows and can apologize.

She said she noticed that from that time onwards when she adopted that method, there were fewer misunderstandings; they were still there, but they reduced drastically.

From this particular story, I learned something huge, because I used to be so much like this lady, I can still be like that sometimes, but I've learned to always talk things out, communicate, and find a way to let the other person hear you, bottling up things will do you the 'bottler' more harm than good, as you would always think about the last thing that person did to you whenever you see the person, whereas the person might have even forgotten they even did something to you. So now I speak immediately the ordeal happens.

**Some Keys to Effective Communication **
These are some tips that I use that have helped me over the years; I hope someone learns a thing or two from them.

Learn to listen before you speak
Always listen before you speak as it helps you understand what information the speaker is trying to pass across to you.

Think before you speak
Thinking before you speak helps you put your thoughts in order before uttering them, and this can also prevent some misunderstandings, it also helps us to understand and gain clarity concerning what has been spoken

Seek Feedback
Also, if it is possible, remember to ask for feedback. This helps to ascertain if the person understood what you said or if it was clear enough.

I hope these tips are helpful to someone.

Thanks for stopping by🌹

All images are mine except otherwise stated

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