The eternal sleep. Initiative / El sueño eterno. Iniciativa
What do I see?
I see a man with his head resting on a wooden table. He looks like he's asleep. In one of his hands he holds an empty bottle.
What do I feel?
I feel a little disappointed, partly for the person who has succumbed to alcohol addiction, but I feel more disappointed for myself because I never had this addiction and there is absolutely nothing that separates me from someone like that in my life. I mean, with a little effort, that person, who probably has countless problems or maybe just one (an addiction), can do many more and greater things than I have been able to achieve. In the end, we are all the same, and I suppose my personal struggle in this life is not as special as I imagine it to be...
A little story
Cole is a cheerful technician for a prestigious telephone service in the region. He wasn't the best, but he did his job as he was taught, diligently. His job consisted of providing technical service to subscribers who had any type of connection problem, and when there weren't many visits to make, he used to perform maintenance on the company's facilities and assets in his assigned area. He had a lot of responsibility under his command.
Despite his heavy workload, he was the father of three children and had a wife who was a homemaker. Without a doubt, he had a large family and a home that lacked nothing. He was also a good father and provider. Cole was a fulfilled man in every sense of the word. Although he was not rich, he lacked nothing.
But Cole had a secret. He was addicted to alcohol, although I don't think he ever realized he was an addict. After work, he always went out drinking with his friends. He never lacked company for his adventures: on Fridays, his coworkers; on weekends, his neighbors took turns; and during the week, anyone who was lucky enough to enjoy his company.
He continued to come home every night, watched his children grow up, and kissed his wife. She knew he was fond of liquor, as they had met at a party. However, liquor was not a problem for her, as he was always charming. In her eyes, he was still the same as when she first met him. To his children, he was fun, very talkative, and undoubtedly strict; he wanted the best for them.
His work was flawless; no one ever complained about poor service or any inconvenience. Rather, his job allowed him to meet very interesting people with whom he shared experiences and became friends. From time to time, they would invite him for a drink, and he never refused. Little by little, alcohol began to creep into his work. But even so, he managed to finish his shifts without complaint. Work began to become more interesting for him. He still saw everything as under control, and no one argued with him. Of course, sometimes when he called a friend or family member, the call would drop, which was very common due to the service platforms that covered the area and were not the best.
Time passed and alcohol entered his veins more and more often. His children watched him change over time, from arriving home well-groomed, combed, and cheerful to coming in with his shirt unbuttoned, stained, disheveled, red-faced, and angry. He became increasingly angry, and this anger began to cause fear. His children gradually began to avoid him. The conversations went on and on until dawn, and they often had to go to school without sleep. His wife began to notice the changes, but what hurt her most was that he didn't come home every night. All kinds of thoughts ran through her head. But the reality that initially came to her as a rumor was that someone resembling her husband was sleeping in the square, in the park, or on the street. Later, these rumors turned into statements and shame. Shame that her husband was sleeping on the street and not next to her, and that her neighbors, friends, and family knew this...
His family began to suggest to Cole that he needed to give up alcohol, that he already had a problem. But he didn't see any problem. He said he could stop drinking whenever he wanted. He even showed signs that he could do it, going weeks and even a couple of months without alcohol in his system. Everyone forgot about the issue, and he also “forgot” about it and continued drinking.
He never quit his job, never stopped driving, never abandoned his family. It seemed that what gave him and his family stability was disappearing to feed his addiction. His children saw new horizons outside their home, far away from him. They began to understand their mother's pain when their friends recognized their father sleeping or causing a disturbance in the street. Many times they had to pick him up and take him home. No doubt they talked to him countless times. But he always replied that he had no problem, stopped for a couple of days, and then continued.
Each child moved away to live in other countries, far away from him. His family was separated, and his wife was his only comfort. But that didn't last long, until she received an invitation from her daughter to live with her. She didn't hesitate for long, when in another outburst, her husband came home drunk and accused her of infidelity. For her, it was the last straw. She knew how sensitive he was about his family being separated, so with the love she had left, she assured him that she would return, that she only wanted to visit her daughter for a while; she knew that the truth would kill him. The truth is that she would never return...
He still works hard, but it's not the same as before. Now it's harder for him to satisfy his vice, everything is more expensive. It's incredible that without a family to support, life has become such a challenge. His children send help as best they can, but they don't talk to him very often. He feels lonely and tries to talk to his friends and family, but he doesn't visit them. He does what he's used to doing: picking up the phone and sharing his ideas with whoever answers. But his bad habit of talking for hours about anything but what's important still prevails. Very few people answer him. He understood that these communication failures were not always due to the platforms, but perhaps because people no longer wanted to talk to him...
The last I heard from Cole was that he was on vacation and fell from a rooftop, leaving him unconscious for a couple of days. Everyone who talks to him tells him he was very lucky, that his fall could have been much more serious if he had fallen just a few inches further. His family visited him and offered him help again to quit drinking. They reminded him that he still has a lot to live for, that his children and wife were worried and want to take him with them, but he has to change. He replied that he fell because he was trying to reach the cat that was on a pole near the house, but lost his balance. That alcohol had nothing to do with his accident. He repeated that he could quit drinking whenever he wanted and that he no longer drank as much, that he was detoxing at his own pace... His family looked at him with sadness and insisted that he let them help him. But he had just come through this near tragedy and they didn't want to upset him too much. So they waited for him to make the best decision.
To date, he continues to work in the same position, they no longer let him drive, his children still don't see him unless it's on his birthday or at Christmas via video call, his family sees him very sporadically, which he decided because he got tired of them asking him to stop drinking. His wife no longer promises him that she will return, she tries to cut off communication quickly before that question is asked. He continues to insist that he has no problem.
¿Qué veo?
Veo a un hombre con su cabeza recostada sobre una mesa de madera. Pareciera que durmiera. En una de sus manos sostiene una botella vacía.
¿Qué siento?
Siento un poco de decepción, un poco por la persona que se rinde ante el vicio del licor, pero siento más decepción por mí que nunca tuve este vicio y absolutamente nada me separa de alguien así en mi vida. Me refiero a que con un poco de esfuerzo esa persona que probablemente tiene un sin número de problemas o tal vez solo uno (una adicción) puede hacer muchas y más grandes cosas de las que yo he podido lograr. Al final todos somos iguales y supongo que mi lucha personal en esta vida tampoco es tan especial como yo la imagino…
Una historia.
Cole es un alegre técnico de un prestigioso servicio de telefonía en la región. No era el mejor, pero desempeñaba su trabajo como se lo enseñaron, con diligencia. Su trabajo consistía en realizar servicio técnico a las personas suscritas que tuvieran cualquier tipo de problema de conexión, y cuando no había muchas visitas que hacer, solía realizar mantenimiento a las instalaciones y bienes de la empresa en su zona asignada. Tenía mucha responsabilidad a su mando.
A pesar de la carga laboral, era padre de 3 hijos y tenía una esposa que era ama de casa. Sin duda alguna tenía una gran familia y tenía una casa a la que no le faltaba nada. También era un buen padre y proveedor. Cole era un hombre realizado en todo el sentido de la palabra. Aunque no era rico, no le faltaba nada.
Pero, Cole tenía un secreto. Era adicto al licor, creo que él nunca supo que era un adicto. Al salir del trabajo, tenía la costumbre de siempre ir a beber con sus amigos, eso nunca le faltaba, alguien que lo acompañara en sus aventuras, los viernes sus compañeros de trabajo, los fines de semana sus vecinos se iban rotando con él y entre semana cualquiera que tuviera la dicha de su compañía.
Seguía llegando a casa todas las noches, veía a sus hijos crecer y besaba a su esposa, ella sabía que era algo dado al licor, pues se conocieron en una fiesta. Sin embargo, el licor para ella no fue un problema, dado que él siempre era encantador, a sus ojos seguía siendo igual que cuando lo conoció en un principio. Para sus hijos, él era divertido, muy conversador y sin duda alguna estricto, quería lo mejor para ellos.
Su trabajo no fallaba, nadie se llegó a quejar por un mal servicio o algún inconveniente. Más bien, su trabajo le permitía conocer personas muy interesantes con las que compartía y con las que llegaba hacer amistad, de vez en cuando le invitaban un trago y él no se negaba. Poco a poco, el licor fue entrando al trabajo. Pero, aún así lograba terminar las jornadas sin queja alguna. El trabajo empezó a volverse más interesante para él. Él seguía viendo todo bajo control, además nadie le replicaba nada. Eso sí, a veces cuando llamaba a algún amigo o familiar, la llamada se solía caer, era muy común, debido a las plataformas de servicios que cubrían el lugar y no eran de lo mejor.
El tiempo pasó y el licor entraba en sus venas cada vez más seguido. Sus hijos fueron observando cómo iba cambiando en el tiempo, de llegar arreglado, peinado y alegre a la casa o entrar con la camisa desabotonada, manchada, despeinado, colorado y molesto. Cada vez más molesto y esta molestia empezó a causar temor. Sus hijos, poco a poco iban evitándolo. Las conversaciones evolucionaban y evolucionaban hasta el amanecer y ellos debían ir a clases muchas veces sin dormir. Su esposa empezó a notar los cambios, pero lo que más le dolía era que no todas las noches llegaba a casa. Por su cabeza pasaba cualquier idea. Pero, la realidad que le llevaban al principio como un rumor era que alguien parecido a su esposo estaba durmiendo en la plaza, en el parque o en la calle; ya después, estos rumores se transformaban en afirmaciones y vergüenza. Vergüenza de que su marido estuviera durmiendo en la calle y no junto a ella y que sus vecinos, amigos y familiares supieran esto…
La familia empezó a sugerirle a Cole que era necesario dejar el alcohol, que ya tenía un problema. Pero, él no veía ningún problema. Él decía, que podía dejar la bebida cuando él quisiera. Incluso daba muestras de que podía hacerlo, pasaban semanas y hasta un par de meses sin licor en su organismo. Todos se olvidaban del asunto y él también “lo olvidaba” y seguía con el licor.
Nunca dejó su trabajo, nunca dejó de conducir, nunca abandonó a su familia, parecía que lo que le daba estabilidad a él y a su familia se esfumaba para mantener su vicio. Sus hijos veían nuevos horizontes fuera de su casa, lejos de él. Empezaban a entender la pena de su madre, cuando sus amigos reconocían a su padre durmiendo o haciendo alboroto en la calle. Muchas veces les tocaba recogerlo y llevarlo a casa. Sin duda alguna hablaron con él incontables veces. Pero, él siempre respondía que no tenía ningún problema, paraba un par de día y luego continuaba.
Cada hijo se abrió a la vida en otros países, muy lejos de él. Su familia estaba separada, su consuelo era su esposa. Pero, poco duro hasta que recibió la invitación de su hija a vivir con ella; no lo dudó mucho, cuando en otro arrebato, su esposo llegaba ebrio y la acusaba de infidelidad. Para ella, fue la gota que derramó el vaso. Sabía lo sensible que él estaba por lo separada que su familia estaba, así que con el amor que le quedaba, le asegura que ella volvería, sólo desea visitar a su hija una temporada; ella sabe que la verdad lo mataría. La verdad es que ella más nunca volvería…
Aún sigue trabajando arduamente, pero ya no es lo mismo que antes, ahora le cuesta más saciar su vicio, todo cuesta más caro. Es increíble que sin una familia que mantener, la vida se ha vuelto todo un desafío. Sus hijos como pueden envían ayuda, pero no hablan muy seguido con él. Se siente solo y trata de hablar con sus amigos y familia, no los visita, hace lo que está acostumbrado, tomar el teléfono y compartir sus ideas con quién le conteste. Pero su mal habito de quedarse hablando por horas de cualquier tema, menos de lo importante aún prevalece. Muy pocos le contestan. Entendió, que no siempre esos fallos en la comunicación se debían a las plataformas, tal vez era porque la gente no quería hablar más con él...
Lo último que supe de Cole fue que estaba de vacaciones y sufrió una caída de una azotea que lo dejó inconsciente por un par de días. Todo el que habla con él, le dice que tuvo mucha suerte, que por unos centímetros su caída no fue más grave. Sus familiares lo visitaron y le ofrecieron nuevamente ayuda para dejar el licor, le recordaron que aún tiene muchas cosas por las que vivir, que sus hijos y su esposa se preocuparon y quieren llevarlo con ellos, pero debe cambiar. Él respondió que se cayó porque estaba tratando de alcanzar al gato que estaba en un poste cercano a la casa, pero perdió el equilibrio. Que el licor no tuvo nada que ver con su accidente. Vuelve a repetir que él puede dejar el licor cuando él quiera y que ya no toma tanto, que se está desintoxicando a su ritmo… Sus familiares lo observaron con pena e insistieron que se dejara ayudar. Pero, él está recién salido de esta casi tragedia y no quieren agitarlo demasiado. Así que esperan a que él tome la mejor decisión.
Hasta la fecha, sigue con su trabajo, en el mismo puesto, ya no lo dejan conducir, sus hijos siguen sin verlo al menos que sea en su cumpleaños o en navidad por una video llamada, su familia lo ve muy esporádicamente, esto lo decidió él porque se cansó de que le pidieran que dejara la bebida. Su esposa, ya no le promete que volverá, trata de cortar la comunicación rápido antes de que esa pregunta se realice. Él sigue insistiendo que no tiene ningún problema.
