An exciting future

Expectations and illusions for the future... It's what drives us forward a lot of the time, and yet something we have to be careful with unless we make our minds the home of endless anxiety.

Today I'm going to write about some of my expectations as that's what I'm mostly thinking about and can't get any sleep right now. I'm soon leaving my forest home to travel, so i have many ideas of what i want to do, and my mind is active in imagination about how the scenarios will play out.

At first i was planning on just traveling north, with no particular destination in mind... Only north, towards the heat. But now I've been provided with a potential destination that is located in the border of Argentina, Brasil, and Uruguay, since it turns out some friends have their house there and would be willing to receive me.

The truth is i feel a lot of excitement about going there. One of these friends is also into permaculture and I'm guessing it won't be hard to find other people who are doing their best to live in abundance and regeneration there. The idea of working with communities, in a place with better temperature and much higher diversity of foods that can be grown is extremely appealing.

So far I've had some really good moments in this place of the world but there's just some things that don't seem to be changing any time soon, like the cold and shortage of sunlight, as well as the social monotony that characterizes it. This scenario means that every day is a big struggle to find motivation and I'm a bit tired of fighting so much.

After so much time in which there was nothing exciting to look forward to, but rather just infinite obstacles to sort out, it feels very refreshing to have expectations once again. I realize that all this reading about spirituality and how we should be always present has really torn away excitement from my life, it has become quite the twisted game where I'm just trying to be "perfect" all the time, and failing at it, with many guilt trips because of it. Maybe dreaming about the future is not such a bad thing after all, maybe hope has a big place in a fulfilling life.

Of course, it's soon to assume conclusions, if being present is considered a wise choice it's because expectations often lead to disappointment. But also, a lack of dreams leads to a dull emotional experience. So i guess, as always, balance is the key. Enough hope to be excited about it, enough presence to actually enjoy what you have in front of you, and hopefully, enough looking into the past to avoid repeating what felt as a mistake.