Now I Understand.
I grew up with parents with two kinds of personalities; my mom was the outspoken one. She would scream at us just to correct us and would call our names so loudly anytime she wanted to send us on an errand, even though we were in the same room. She was very jovial and greeted everyone she knew on her way to the market. At one point, I disliked following her because we would spend hours greeting everyone on the road and in the market before we got what we wanted. However, my dad was the calm and silent one. He doesn't have so many friends but yet he knows so many people; when he greets people on his way out, it is always short and precise, yet everyone is always happy to see him. Sometimes I wonder if it was because of my mom, but that wasn't the reason; he has a way of connecting with people even when he talks so little.
One day, as my mom and I were walking home from the market, I finally asked her.
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“Mummy, why do you always greet everybody like that?” I asked, frowning as she waved at another woman across the street.
She looked at me and laughed. “What kind of question is that?” she said, adjusting the bag she was holding over her shoulder “So I should be walking past people I know, like I didn’t see them”
I frowned a little. “But it’s too much sometimes. We’re always stopping to greet this person, that person… we spend more time greeting than buying things. It always make us get home late, aha”
She shook her head, and continue talking without looking at me “My dear, greeting someone won’t kill you. You don’t know who is watching you or who you’ll need tomorrow. This life ehnn, relationship is everything. If you see someone you know, greet them. It shows respect and it builds connection.”
I didn’t say anything, but I kept those words in my heart. If I should greet everyone I know, I would be greeting almost everyone in the state, so I thought but I took a leaf out of her book.
There was a particular man my mom always greeted, but I didn't like him because he wasn't always properly dressed. He would wear rubber slippers and short pants instead of trousers, and he hung out with those loud touts at the bus stop, but after that talk with my mom, I just started greeting him whenever I saw him, sometimes with a little bow because we are meant to greet elderly people with a bow, sometimes a focused wave and I would always see him smile whenever I greeted him and he always respond. The truth was, I did it just because, nothing else and it wouldn't kill me.
Then one day, I was heading home alone, and the bus stop was busy as always. Some people were trying to get bus, some where trying to buy something from vendors who were hawking their goods, others where trying to get down from bus, many people were at the bus and it was busy as always, then there were the touts too, there to cause trouble, so I tried my best to avoid them but the day wasn't my day.
“Hey you, come here” he said.
I stopped, pretending not to hear, but he was already walking toward me. The kind of fear that makes your stomach tighten came over me. I had heard stories, sometimes they collect your phone, your wallet, or other valuable because no one would stop them.
As he got closer, two more of them came around. One of them stretched his hand. “Make I see your phone,” he said.
I hesitated. I knew what that meant. If I should give him the phone, I probably wouldn't get it back, my palms were already sweaty, and I couldn't even look at their faces. I just kept staring down, heart beating like drum.
"Abi you no get phone, bring the phone out let me see, I will give you back" he said but I could tell those words were nothing but lies.
Then, I heard a sharp voice.
“Are you people mad?! It is my son you want to rob in broad daylight?!”
The voice said in our native tongue. I looked up immediately, and there he was. That same man. The one I had judged for dressing badly. The one I never wanted to greet in the first place.
He walked up to us boldly. The boys shifted. “No vex, Baba,” one of them said, already backing away.
He chased them off like flies and didn’t even raise his hand. Just words. Just presence. Then he turned to me.
“Are you fine,?” he asked in our native tongue and I nodded quickly.
“Next time, no pass here alone,” he said, and pointed in the other direction. “Follow that side. It’s safer.”
He walked me down the road and waited till I crossed safely. He didn’t ask for anything. He just turned and went back to his usual corner.
As soon as I got home, I told my mom the whole story and she was surprise "You see why I said you should be greeting people and be nice to them" she said and I nodded too.
The next time she saw the man, she thanked him and got him a gift, she told me she did, and knowing my mom, I never doubted her. Since then, I have always been a person who greets everyone I know immediately I see them and they are within my voice radar. I took that leaf from my moms book and it has always work in creating good relationship.
The End.
Thanks for reading. My name is Fashtiolwa.
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A beautiful lesson that your mother taught you and that later helped you be helped by the person you least expected.
Thanks for sharing your experience with us.
Excellent day.
It was a good lesson indeed.
Thanks for reading and gracing my comment.
My friends had shouted at me for doing this every time. Right from time, I've always loved to greet everyone when I am walking or at a place. They will say, "must I greet each person individually?" I would tell them that's my way of doing this. It's not like getting something in return, it has been my lifestyle to show respect to both young and old, and many times, I have reaped the reward in ways I didn't expect.
It's actually good to greet people because you don't know what will happen tomorrow just like your story. It pays to greet people including those touts ehn.
Yeah, in fact, my mom would call you to greet someone even when I am inside my room and yes, I have reaped many rewards from this.
Greeting people just shows you have respect and it always comes back in a good way.
A good one from a perspective of greeting and a way of complimenting. Picking that from your mother's way of life is also intact as it directly inclined for growth. An interesting piece, so to say.
Thanks for the comment and yeah, you are right; doing this helps me grow in a way and changes the way I see and view the world too.
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STOPThanks for the update.
Keep up the fantastic work @fashtioluwa! Your dedication and hard work will pay off when you reach your target.
I have an aunt like that who would greet everybody whenever we were walking on the road, often I would frown and get angry at what she was doing, but then at some point I realized that it wasn't a bad thing at all. It creates a bond even when it is distant.
Yeah, there was a man I always greeted. This was after my mom had told me to greet everyone. This particular day, I saw this man and I had a lot going on, so I didn't see him. I don't know if you understand, I passed him, and he had to call me back. He asked what was wrong and I said nothing. He knew something was wrong because I didn't greet him. He gave me some encouraging words and I felt better.
Greeting never kills for sure, I also greet a lot, and now my daughters have taken after greeting even more than me that I sometimes feel embarrasssed when they greet a total stranger on the raod.
Hehehehe, this is one of the best things I learned from my mom. I greet a lot and now I have so many friends, both elderly and young ones; I feel like a superstar.
I learnt this a long time ago. I'm usually the guy who keeps a straight face and doesn't greet anyone. I'm truly a shy guy. But there's this particular man that I usually greet while walking down the road. This particular day, I needed a small amount of money to complete my fare. I didn't know I was already out of cash before boarding. But because I usually greeted this man he offered to pay for my fare.
He really saved me that day.
yeahhhhhhhhh, like do you get.
You don't even need to have cheap conversation with them or try to form a bond, the greeting alone is enough and when they see you in trouble, people you greet often will always extend a hand of help.
I learnt this from my immediate elder sister. She could greet the whole world, while I, on the other hand, prefer to keep my cool. But then, I later realised it wasn't a crime to adopt that part of her, just like you did your mom.
Yeah, it's a good thing to share greetings when you can. I believe that's one of the things that made my mom so important to people. It's a good thing to emulate.
I had this friend that do call me face of the area I stayed while at school. The reason was because I stopped and greeted people I knew plus the ones I don't.
True, greeting someone won't kill you neither will it remove anything from your body.
It's just an act of respect.
Yeah. It’s just an act of respect and it gives someone a good reputation
Yes it does.
Its a good thing you decided to follow what your mum taught you other wise it would had been a different story.
Yeahhh, I’m glad I did