Beyond the Vows: What Really Keeps a Marriage Together

Marriage, the union between a man and a woman who agree to be husband and wife because they love each other and are ready to spend their lives together for eternity, or should I say until divorce or death?

I have attended so many weddings in my lifetime, and I have seen so many successful marriages and failed marriages. I have noticed that there is something in common amongst them, and the thing is that there are no rules to a lasting marriage. If you set some rules to help you build a lasting marriage, then that rule may be the undoing of that marriage.

The only thing that can make a marriage last or remain forever is love, and I know one person who is known to be love (God).

When dating, you would hear a lot of ladies saying they want a tall and huge guy, either light- or dark-skinned. Some guys want a good-looking lady with a thick ass and good curves, but they forget to ask one simple, important question: is that what makes a good husband? Is that what makes a good wife? Their desires go on and on. However, very few talk about their standards for marriage.

I attended a wedding in January 2024, and it is sad to say the man and woman are currently going through a divorce right now, in May 2025.

You see, she was beautiful, had a good ass, light skin, and had the baddie kind of vibes that every man would want. When he was with her before marriage, he would show her off to his friends because she was sexy, and most times they bought everything they needed, including food. After the marriage, she said something that baffled me.

You know I don't cook or do house chores before marrying me, why should I change now?

And this always caused issues among them until it eventually led to a divorce.

My personal opinion for a standard wife.

The truth is that I love beautiful ladies, but I love a lady more when I know she's beautiful within too. What I meant is that she has a very good character and acts like a proper, feminine lady who is brought up well in a good home. I can get attracted to a beautiful lady at first glance but immediately I notice a bad character or she acts improperly, and the attraction I once had dies immediately.

I like me a lady who loves God like I do, and if not more, a proper Christian lady, because I am a Christian, and if I were a Muslim, I would go for a Muslim lady because I wouldn't want two kinds of religion in my home.

A lady who can cook, because I love eating and cooking too. A lady who has a very good character, a lady whose attributes are a strength to my weaknesses.

Now, I would end this blog with what I started with. No marriage can last outside the boundaries of love, and we all know God himself is love, meaning no marriage can survive outside God. Now, he gave a simple instruction about marriage, and if followed, it would be easy to keep a marriage.

Husband ought to love their wife as their own body.

Meaning, the way you love your body, the same way you won't allow any harm to come to you, and you would want to feed yourself well, have that same love for your wife, and for the wife, he said

Wife respect your husband.

We are already living in a world where females think they are equal to men, and if that same mentality is taken to marriage, they would find it very hard to respect their husbands. Yes, respect is reciprocal, but respect first and see the miracle happen.

At the heart of every lasting marriage isn’t a checklist of physical traits or surface-level compatibility—it’s a deep, unwavering commitment rooted in love, respect, and God. The world may keep redefining what marriage should look like, but the timeless principles of love and respect remain unshaken. If we build our unions on God's foundation, and choose to love and honor each other daily, we stand a better chance of not just surviving marriage—but thriving in it.

Thanks for reading; My name is Fashtioluwa

All images are mine.

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