How I Correct People Even After the First Caution #245

Hello beautiful women of Hive, Happy new week to everyone! I pray this week brings us renewed favors, hope, and joy.

This week’s contest topic really touched me. The first thing that came to my mind was in the area of relationships. Often, one partner may warn the other about a potential issue, but when the warning is ignored, things go wrong. In situations like this, I believe it’s not the right time to say, “I warned you.” Instead, it’s a moment for understanding and correction not blame.

Let me share a recent experience that serves as a case study. I was invited to attend a program, and I decided to honor the invitation. We took a Toyota HiAce bus for the trip. Before we left, the owner of the vehicle gave the driver clear instructions: he should drive carefully and avoid over speeding because there were elderly people and persons with disabilities in the vehicle. The driver agreed and assured us he would stick to the speed limit.

A few minutes into the journey, a convoy of vehicles sped past us. We all became uneasy because of how fast they were going. Sadly, our driver got carried away and tried to keep up with the convoy to avoid traffic. When we got to a junction, there was some traffic, but instead of slowing down, the driver tried to speed through wanting to move like the convoy.

Unfortunately, he ended up in an accident. When we finally arrived at the church, the vehicle owner said only one thing to the driver: “You were warned not to speed.” That one sentence broke the driver’s heart. Everyone who witnessed the incident blamed him for not listening. It was a very painful moment. He was filled with regret and shame almost like he wished the ground would open and swallow him.

This situation perfectly relates to this week's prompt. I will be responding to it in two different aspects to explain how I handle correction, even after someone has been warned.

In Terms of Relationship

There have been times when I had arguments with my husband. Even if I ignored just one out of 99 instructions he gave me, and he later brought it up again, it would make me feel really bad almost like I didn’t value his words. Hearing “I told you before” in that moment makes a person feel empty and judged. That’s exactly how I felt, and it’s why I believe that in relationships, couples should be more careful to consider and respect each other’s instructions or cautions.

It’s important for couples to avoid using judgmental words against one another. I once watched a Facebook video about a lady who deeply loved her partner. Her partner had been warning her repeatedly to avoid unnecessary anger, saying he couldn’t live with someone who gets furious easily. One day, the man’s sister came over to visit, and not long after, the lady walked into the apartment and saw her partner with the sister. Instead of calmly asking what was going on, she got angry, assumed the worst, and smashed the car windscreen.

Unfortunately, that incident ended their two-year relationship. The man reminded her that he had always warned her not to react in anger before verifying the truth. To me, when someone refuses to listen to a repeated caution, they should be ready to face the consequences of their actions. However, in a romantic relationship, I don’t advise using phrases like “I told you so.” Instead, couples should focus on listening to each other carefully and thinking before acting.

Using hurtful words during correction doesn’t help when you're trying to build a peaceful home with someone you say you want to spend your life with.

In Casual Settings or Friendships

Now, when the situation doesn’t involve a romantic relationship such as in casual friendships or public settings, I handle it differently. If someone ignores a warning and their actions bring consequences, I will clearly remind them: “You were told.” Especially when it affects everyone involved, it’s only fair that the person takes responsibility. So while I believe such statements should be avoided in romantic relationships, I see nothing wrong with saying them in a casual setting. It can serve as a reminder and help others take future instructions seriously.

Thank You for Reading Thank you so much for taking the time to read my thoughts. I hope this week brings you peace, understanding, and lots of love. Do have a lovely week ahead!