Is Character Taught, Inherited, or Discovered?

I would say that how a person is raised matters a lot. Parenting is not something small, the way you train your child goes a long way in how that child will behave later in life. I know some children are naturally stubborn or strong-headed, but that doesn’t mean they can’t be corrected. Children are like soft clay when they are still small, you can shape them into something good. It’s when you leave them anyhow that they grow anyhow.

No child is born with the habit of lying, fighting, stealing, or disrespecting people. All those bad behaviours are learned maybe from what they see adults do, or because nobody told them it’s wrong. A child’s first school is the home. If the home is full of confusion, shouting, insults, or even silence when things go wrong, what do you expect that child to carry outside?

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I’ve seen some parents ignore their children when they misbehave in public. Some children will even talk to elders and their parents will laugh and say, “He’s just a child.” But when that same child grows up and starts stealing or fighting, the parents will say it’s bad friends or the government. But let’s be honest many of these problems start in the house.

When I was growing up, there are things I couldn’t even try. If you are from Africa you will understand the way parenting was in the olden days, you will always know the meaning of eye contact or throat communication, I couldn't try some things because I feared my parents. It is never fear that makes you hate them, it is a kind of fear that makes you behave well. My parents didn’t beat us anyhow, but we knew what would happen if we misbehaved. If you lie, you will be punished. If you fought outside, you’d explain yourself at home.

I remember our landlady back then, her son used to beat other children and take their toys. Instead of stopping him, she would laugh and say, “My boy is bold.” As the boy grew up, he became worse. He even beat up a classmate in school with a stick and they sent him home. That same woman started running to prayer houses, saying her son had spiritual problems but we all knew the problem started with how she raised him.

Yes, I know fingers are not equal and all children can never behave the same, even not every child from a good home will turn out good, and not every child from a bad home will turn out bad. That one is true. But most times, a child who has a good background has a better chance in life. Parenting is very important. The way you discipline a child as a parent matters most, no one is talking about beating but the way you talk to your child, how you correct them, what you allow them to see and hear, even how you behave around them matters. Children may not listen to everything you say, but they’re always watching what you do.

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These days, many parents are afraid to correct their children. Maybe because they don’t want them to cry or maybe because society now makes it look like correcting a child is wickedness. But it’s better for that child to cry now and thank you later than for you to cry later when the child turns to something else.

Children need love, yes. But they also need rules. If you always say “yes” to your child and give them everything they want, you’re raising a selfish person. The children develop most traits from their parents.

Parenting is not easy at all. It is not all about giving them food and buying them good clothes and shoes, parenting is about teaching your children the right from wrong, it is about teaching them what value is all about, showing them how to behave, and being present in their lives. Though I’m not a parent yet but I’ve seen enough to know that raising a child is serious work.

So, are children naturally bad? Maybe some are just more stubborn than others. But most of the time, what we call “bad children” are just children who were not properly trained. If we want better people in the world tomorrow, we have to start training them well from today right from home.

This is my response to this episode of Hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w173e03 with the topic is tagged HUMAN TRAITS