A Lie of Kindness: Protecting a Loved One from Embarrassment

I was forced to lie to others to save one of my area sisters from embarrassment and also save her mental health, one thing I consider paramount and vital is our mental health, This sister has been nothing but good to me, she took me like her immediate younger sister, I have been in their family for long even some people never believe that we aren't siblings.

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She is someone I love so much but she is yet to married not to talk of giving birth, she called me some months ago and informed me about her younger sister's wedding ceremony, I asked her if it would be okay for her to go, her response was so shallow which made me believe that she isn't ready for it.

Her sister called me and informed me about the wedding which I promised to be in attendance, I thought it would be a nice thing to honor the event since she invited me, but for her big sister, it will always be a time of embarrassment her, African people believe that the eldest daughter must get married before the younger daughter, that is what our culture believes in.

I thought about how to save her from all this disgrace from family members, she never got along with her family because they believed she always brought bad luck to the family so this made them segregate her from the family, she is so adorable, she will never hide anything from me, I practically know more about the family and I get to know her sister through her and we became talking mate not too intense about our friendship.

I called her junior sister and told her that we wouldn't be in attendance because the wedding was scheduled to happen during the week, I told her that her sister would be going for an interview that day and she was not free to tell her because she doesn't know how she will react or respond to the message.

I had to lie in other to free her from such embarrassment and disgrace from family members, if you are in Africa I'm such you can relate to how family members humiliate people who are due for marriage but still live under their parents.

The day of the wedding, she called her sister and apologized for not making it to her wedding, I was glad I made her happy throughout the day, I couldn't reveal the truth to the sister again because I did not want anything that would scatter their family due to my action, how will I explain to her that her sister purposely not attend her wedding due to the embarrassment from family members.

I allowed it to pass and we became normal like we used to be before the wedding, I didn't reveal the truth and will never reveal the truth. Some lies are better kept as a secret than revealing the truth that will never mend back a broken heart.

This is my entry for today's episode of hivelearners community prompt of #hl-w120e2 which the topic is "THE GOOD LIES"

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9 comments
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It baffles me how this our bad mentality of elders must get married before the younger ones is still in existence. Marriage is not something anyone should rush. Some families pressure their kids so much making them make wrong choices in the end.

I feel for your friend, but she shouldn't worry, she will get married when the right time comes. You did right by covering for her.

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Yes, it's pretty old-fashioned to rush into marriage. And well... I imagine it must have been an awkward situation.

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It's quite dishearting when I saw how most people take this culture believes and ideology, everyone can get married at their Time of choice, not because one is older, I think you did well in avoiding to occasions with lie of behind occupy.

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My African people ahhhh!
Imagine not attending your own sister's wedding cause of embarrassment. Too bad. She must have felt horrible.
I wonder who still holds to those stupid patterns. It's sad.
#dreemerforlife

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This African mentality that the elder must marry before the younger is so terrible, and it is really causing so much pain to so many people. You saved your friend from embarrassment from her family and helped protect her mental health, that is what really counts.
#dreemerforlife

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Some lies are better kept as secret to save one from a big embarrassment and causing something else. You actually did well because I can understand the situation. She may get to the wedding and become sad, it was just better she didn't go. I hope the sister is getting along well with her sha. #dreemport

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I agree that and definitely I am on your dude because it’s not you that will come and scatter someone’s family Charley

#dreemerforlife

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