Survive?

Survive?
I don't really know if I have survived.
All I do is to keep moving so as not to be stagnant.
My inner self has locked it's doors,
As though to protect itself.
I can't open the doors.
It has become inaccessible,
Even to me.

I feel alone,
I feel drained of my energy.
Then my mind becomes blank.
Then turns into a feeling,
A feeling I can not describe it to another.
It wouldn't make any difference.
As I alone steer my boat.
A feeling that causes a constant nervous meltdown.

Then I question my existence
What do I want to do?
Who do I want to become?
Is every part of me functioning well?
It becomes quiet.
A deafen silence creeps in.
No answer,
At all.

Is there another life apart from this?
Can I wake up and find all these a dream?
But I feel every pain,
All emotions, I feel.
I want it to be a dream.
It must be.
We cannot be created for all these suffering.
How can life be so unstable?

All images above are created from Nightcafe AI

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