MY FEAR...

I am a simple young man; probably still in the quest of understanding what life is all about. One thing is certain, though: I seek happiness, yet it could be the case that I can never be happier than I have become. My routine is constant; I go to work, come home, go to choir practice; I also do not miss my volleyball training every Sunday evening, yet I seek more. I want more, and something in me constantly tells me that more will make me happier. I just hope I am not being deceived by my inner quest for success.

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Most people want be successful and happier. But whether to consider success a bringer of happiness is quite more complicated than it seems. At this point in my life, I have become able to make what I enjoy doing the most my source of livelihood, yet I want more. By more, I mean more money. It would have been nicer to paint it all up and not directly mention money, but then, money for me is the end goal of every quest for success; money and wealth.

It is even more difficult when one perceives that that which they consider a passion is never going to earn them as much as other professions. Faced with the chance of switching profession, it becomes quite easy to go astray. Now, whether or not it causes one to lose their happiness becomes yet uncertain. I do not see myself being able to resist the urge for money against my passion. I may not even resist at all; after all, more money means more success.

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This is where it gets really confusing; it could be that I have a wrong understanding of success. It could, after all, be that success is not tantamount to wealth or money. Be it what it may, I think wealth is what I desire. In other words, my desire to become successful is simply me wanting to become wealthy. If this is the case, then choosing money over my passion could be considered sacrificing my passion for success. It is probably not too much of a cost for success.

Happiness is one thing that I desire, yet I do not know what it really means, but I guess it has a lot to do with peace of mind. As it is now, I have got a certain level of peace of mind. Here, then, comes my fear: I would not love my quest for success to cost me the little peace I have been able to attain. I want more, but if I could see the future to know whether more will cost me my peace or not, I would really get to realise what I really want. I probably can sacrifice my dreams and passion for success, but not my peace.

What if my dreams and passion are responsible for the peace I now enjoy? That again is my fear...

Thank you for reading through to the end!