What Do You Call This?
Before I start telling you the story of this post, let's talk about hair and hairstyle.
Hair is very important in every woman's life. We're obsessed about our hair and ready to spend as much as we can, some even more, to have our dream hair. We spend a lot of time in front of the mirror, fixing our hair. I'm kind of an exception in this regard, however, I do spend money on my hair, but more about that a bit later.
Photo by George Bohunicky on Unsplash
The Trend
In trading we say the trend is your friend, until the end (when it bends), which is true in trading, but not in fashion.
Today you see influencers left and right, preaching about what you should wear, how you should wear your hair, what is trendy and what is not. They are called influencers for a good reason and trust me, they always manage to influence a lot of people.
When it comes to hair, long strait hair seems to still dominate today, preferably blond of course. If you don't fit in the above description, you don't matter. This is why you see a lot of women wearing the same hairstyle, no matter what it costs. Straighten your hair every single day to look like your influencer wants you to look like, regardless if it suits you or not.
Photo by Todd Trapani on Unsplash
This is nice from far and far from nice, when you go closer. Many times I see damaged hair beyond repair, to the point where I suppose my hairdresser would cut 85% off of it, in an attempt to salvage what can be still salvaged. It doesn't matter if it's damaged as it fits the trend and that's all that counts to many.
My hair is wavy, so having straight hair would mean straightening it out every day or several times a day if I want to be honest, as the slightest rise of humidity would make it wavy again. No hair on earth would survive such a treatment, trust me. I dye my hair (I mean my hairdresser does), as I want the color I'm wearing, which is a torture to the hair already on its own, so straightening added would be a complete recipe for disaster. On the other hand I don't have to spend 30 minutes in front of the mirror each morning, to fix my hair. I need no time for that, no comb either and I'm more than grateful for that.
I stopped caring about trends a long time ago and had the courage to choose my own hairstyle, based on what I think suits me and that goes for clothing as well. I'd rather prefer to have healthy hair and change my hairstyle as I please, instead of trying to fit the mood and the expectations of others. Am I trendy? No, I'm not. Do I care? No, I don't. I don't see why I should.
Photo by Antonio Friedemann on Unsplash
What Do You Call This?
Two weeks ago, a friend of mine visited me. She's a student abroad and came home for a short visit. I spoke to her previously, she did not tell me anything about the big news, but the wire was working and I got notified by others about what she did.
What did she do? She cut her Cleopatra hair really short, similar to what you see on the photo above. I'm not saying I wasn't surprised, but I had no reason to feel anything bad about her decision, or to judge. The only thing I wanted to know was the reason behind this brave decision.
Usually women make a drastic change (hairstyle, overall look etc.) after a breakup, a divorce and so on. When they feel like making a change to leave the past behind, start fresh and become someone else, a new person. She is in a happy relationship, so I knew this was not the reason.
When I opened the door, she had a big smile on her face. I think if she wouldn't have had ears, her mouth would have run all around her head 😁. After inspecting her new hairstyle, I asked her to tell me why she did it.
She told me she has been wondering for some time, how it would feel like to have such a short hair. Her curiosity was not about how she would look, but about how it would feel like and obviously the reaction of her environment would make her feel, as that's an important factor as well. I mean not what others would say, but what their opinion would make her feel like. I'd say this was or still is an experiment and an important one in her life. She looked good by the way, this sort of hairstyle suits her, no question about it as she's beautiful in general.
Her boyfriend came with her too, so I asked him what did he say when she made the decision to do it. Fasten your seat belts as I bet you don't expect the answer he gave me. He said, when he heard about the plan, he said he's going to cut his hair short too, out of solidarity.
Usually women are worried about what their boyfriends, husbands would say to such a decision and many men can't handle such a situation well as appearances need to be kept these days, but not this guy. He said if this is what she wants, he's in, he's supporting her.
The Psychology Behind It
Women are afraid of making such a step, because they are worried about what people would say. But the truth is, it's not about what people would say, but about how what people say would makes them feel. If you can ignore any negativity, you win. If not, you become a people pleaser and cage yourself willingly.
Making such a move, cutting your hair short and ignoring everyone who's negative about it sets you free. Accepting yourself, your look and feeling good about being brave to make the move means total freedom. I told her that and she totally agreed. Once she experienced what it feels like to ignore the trend and the expectations of society, she can learn to implement that in any area of life. This is a huge step forward in her personal development and I'm glad she did it.
Another aspect that can't be neglected is her boyfriend's reaction. He was not only willing to support her, but he joined her too. What do you call this? He must really love her. Not many would have done it as most of them care more about looks and what other people say.
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And if we women let ourselves be carried away more in what they will say than in our preferences even though we yearn for change
We should care less about what others say and do more what we want. I stopped caring a long time ago as it's my life and I refuse to let other dictate what to do.
Bravo for you, I do the same too, I no longer pay attention to what others think of me, after all, they don't know me
interesting perspective shared here. when you write: ”... Another aspect that can't be neglected is her boyfriend's reaction. He was not only willing to support her, but he joined her too...” and ask: “What do you call this?” i would respond that the boyfriend is exhibiting the programmed reaction of “a weakling”, and not that of “a real man”. and, i “...call this...” disappointing, myself, because it expresses an attitude of it is better to conform to social norms, than to make waves. 🌊 🏄🏾
i believe that our hair, on women and men, are our antennae, whereby we, of the wo/manKIND Family, receive transmissions of Love 💗 and data from the Supreme Spirit, “Mother-Father-Creator” from whom we all are offsprung... our hair included.
the programming we all received via satan and its “THE beast SYSTEM” of a.i./technocracy/CORPORATOCRACY is what, i believe con-vinced us to cut ✂️, dye🩸 , shave 🪒 and otherwise maim our aetheric-antennae, the gift 💝 we each received from Creator, as a form of our own self-separation from Supreme Spirit and consent to be controlled (i.e. governed) by lesser gods. 🤔
I think you misunderstood what I wrote. I don't think going against social norms is a weakness or disappointing. On the contrary.
First off, all I have to say I'm glad I'm not worried about my hair. Probably something a lot of guys feel. I know some women who spend hours each day with their hair. I don't get destroying your hair to achieve or maintain a look though. Why did they create multiple bathrooms in houses? Are women behind this or men, haha?
Short hair is great less maintenance and can go all day with no worries. Believe it or not I once had hair I could put into a pony tail. Oh the gel or mousse I used to have the Steven Seagal look, haha. The military turned me forever with short hair.
Anyways It was a nice your friend's husband supported her to cut her hair short. I'm sure that made the decision much easier. I've had two past girl friends cut their hair short. They both looked great with shorter hair. Actually one I think looked better with it.
Lol, good for you. I need to worry, but not like others as I'm one of the lucky ones. Whenever I go to the hairdresser, she says she wants hair like mine, which is a huge compliment.
Lol, this is funny, but I'm glad you got to experience what long hair means. On the other hand, gel and mousse is a pain. I did not use gel, as that is for short hair and when my hair was short, did not nee it, but I'm very familiar with mousse.
You're right, some women look better with short hair, they just have to have a bit of confidence an courage to do it.
This was my shortest hair back in 2016. I was experimenting and I was so tired of having long hair. I had many hairstyles from long hair to wavy hair, with bangs like a Japanese girl when I went to Japan to be kawaii. It was liberating to have the shortest hair ever when I was thin with a good physique. Now, that I am a mom of two with body changes, I cannot rock the shortest haircut anymore. Hehe!
I had a hairstyle like that in 2017 I think and I'm going to have it again shortly :) It's comfortable.
Agree to disagree. Why not? No one has the right to judge you, trust me :)
Not that somebody would judge me. It's just that I know to myself this haircut won't look good on me due to facial shape. Right now, I am maintaining a haircut that looks nice on my face. hehe!
well, I'm in the 1% that doesn't spend time on this. You too, I see. 🙌
I cut my hair like that, like that girl. I didn't care about anything, or anyone. And that's very good, to feel free.
Erikah, I got my new laptop. Finally.
You're among the lucky ones then. I am too, to some extent.
Freedom is important as obsessing about your hair all day every day is tiring and frustrating as well.
Yay!!! I'm so glad to hear you've managed to get a laptop. This is a huge step for you! Enjoy and hope it serves you well.
Thank you, @erikah. I was talking about her in my last post ,)
Very nice! I also think people shouldn't care much about what others say.
But still, we have too admit there are some really freaky hairdos out there. So freaky that we wonder... what were they smoking? 😂😂😂
I'm a tomato!
Get the cake, I'll bring the balloons!
People shouldn't care in general. If you care more about what other say, you become their slave.
These hairstyles are for the show 😂, no one in their right mind would wear such hairstyle in the everyday life. However, it's funny.
This is just so it!
I don't quite identify with what you've written about how much women care about their hair, as not only do I not dye my hair, even though the first silver threads are appearing, but I also despise straighteners and curling irons :D
But I cut my hair short (like your friend), right after the breakup, which as you said, is nothing unusual. Just the pure fact of changing was important to me.
A break from the past, one may say.
And short hair requires a minimum of attention, so I've had a lot more time on my hands. And I loved that! I wore my hair short for a few years and now they are long again, and I have to admit that not a day goes by when I don't think about cutting them off short again 🤣
I'm really happy to hear that as it means you're free too. I hope you can make the decision in case you want short hair again :) You're right, it's easy to manage, but needs to be cut regularly. However, it's more convenient than long hair, that's for sure :)
There is of course a lot to unpack here, but again - we need to adjust our means to our current situation, I would say :D And I envy your wavy hair, truly. Mine are straight, but very flat and just boring :D
I would say that's exactly what's holds me back, the very perspective of sitting in hair salon for about hour or so :D
as you said, it's not about what people say, but about how what people say makes us feel. If we can learn to ignore the negativity, we can free ourselves to be who we want to be.
I think it's great that this woman was able to cut her hair short and ignore the negative comments. It's a huge step forward in her personal development, and it shows that she is confident in herself and her choices.
I'm also impressed by her boyfriend's reaction. He shows that he truly loves and respects her, and that he is willing to support her in her journey to self-acceptance.
I think this is a great example of how we can all learn to be more independent and confident in our own choices. When we are not afraid to follow our own path, we can live more freely and authentically.
I loved when I did this:
At first I was worried about what my mother would think, then I felt so good and relieved, a sense of lightness that I think I was able to radiate, it was as you say, not so much how I looked but how I felt and feel.
I'm not sure how old you are, but parents always worry about what others say and that's how they influence their children as well, which is not good.
Congrats for standing up for yourself and do what you like. It looks good.
Well my mother doesn't care much about what other people think, she just always liked women to have long hair and no matter how old I am, her opinion will always be important to me, although that doesn't mean I always have to please her haha.
I'm glad that my haircut looks good to you, I love it!