Boulevard Of Broken Dreams

Years ago I used to watch a TV show called House Hunting. I loved it because you got to see some nice houses, apartments from all over the world and you could get an idea about the housing prices as well, but the amount of human stupidity that came with it got too much for me, or it was more than I wanted to tolerate, so after some time I quit watching it.

One thing stood out for me though and there was a good lesson to learn as well, if you could see further than your nose.

The narrative was always the same. Individuals, families moving abroad, sometimes overseas for work or other reasons, looking to know the culture, to experience the lifestyle of the locals and ultimately live like them, locals. House hunting starts with them sitting down with a realtor, sharing their expectations, budget and so on, to which the realtor presents them some potential options. All nice and good till here, but the next step is where things get complicated.

Most, if not all can't see the woods from the trees and have no sense of reality, at all. They say they want to live like locals, but they expect to get what they had at home. Expecting 5 - 6 bedroom apartment in an old European city center, in a building built 500 - 600 years ago, elevator and huge terraces ... not in this world. Reality slaps them on the face and they have to wake up from their dreams.

That's ok as that's a TV show, they need to make it interesting and adding some difficulties and twists in the mix is what they do. The problem starts when people do this in real life too, especially those who are not moving for pleasure or have no signed work contract yet, trying to find a better life, that exists in their heads.

Migrating from one country to another, from one continent to another is in vogue now, people are ready to move in pursuit of a better life. That is fine as no one wants to live in poverty and suffer in a country run by crooks, where criminality sky rockets and things are going from bad to worse. They want change, they want better.

The problem starts when you get to a new country/continent and still have your old mentality, expecting things to go as at home but with a better outcome.

I have an aunt who emigrated to Germany decades ago. She used to work as a chemist and had a well paid job. She attended some hairdresser courses before leaving, thinking she'd work as a hairdresser as she knew her chemist studies would worth nothing outside the country. She applied for a hairdresser position and in the first 5 minutes of the interview she realized this was a dream nothing to do with reality as she knew nothing about the hair dyes they were using or the hairstyle trends that were in vogue in Germany.

I see many Africans want to escape the life they are living, hoping to land a job in developed countries that grants them a visa to stay. They are considering themselves highly educated, because they got a diploma (many have never worked in the field but that doesn't stop them dreaming big), then reality slaps them in the face, when they are told their diploma worth nothing and their education is not up to western standards. Little do they know so few diplomas are recognized and in just a few countries only.

It's sad to see ladies thinking they can get a job in the fashion industry, just because they (think) know how to sew a dress. Cutting out the never ironed pieces on the kitchen floor and sewing them together with a mechanical sewing machine, leaving behind every single standard referring to exact measures, perfectly finished edges and sewing straight lines won't take you far.

Knocking on doors, asking for a job and being shocked when they ask you to drop your CV so they can contact you in case there's a job opening, which is the norm in any civilized country, being annoyed that after repeatedly being late with your payments, you're threatened with expulsion ..., just to name a few of the strange things I read here and there.

What these people don't understand is that if you want to succeed, you need to have an open mind, see reality for what it is and ultimately, try to adapt. The faster you adapt, the better for you.

Wanting to do what you've been doing at home (cutting corners, looking for shortcuts to work less and earn more), while expecting your life to be better is not going to work. Arriving with big dreams (and big ego) that have nothing to do with reality, while refusing to see how things stand is going to hurt you a lot.

Finding a way to succeed is an art, requires you to put aside your ego, your perceptions and go through a transformation which may have never been your plan. Life is difficult enough in every country, quality of life is not what it used to be and only a handful of countries are showing progress, the rest is going backward. Governments' responsibility is towards their citizens, prioritizing immigrants will never happen. There's a lesson to learn from every story, if you're willing to open your eyes and see reality for what it is, not just what you want to see.

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