To feel.

For a long time I’ve always struggled to process my feelings, I don’t know why but now that I’m older I realize that I really do like a lot of things and I’m not a emotionless as I thought, for a while I was convinced I couldn’t feel. But recently (thanks to awareness) I began to notice a lot of changes I mean, they might have already been there and I just refused to acknowledge its existence.

It’s so nice!, I feel fuzzy whenever I see something I like it’s so nice! (You’re seeing nice twice because this has been really intense for me) I see a meme that relates to me I think, oh that’s nice!. I see random happy people on the internet though I’m not close to them (obviously, they’re random.) I feel so nice and happy for them, you know? like oh today is this person’s birthday she looks so good or oh my God this person has just graduated that’s beautiful. I love it!

Precious moments when I’ve felt the intensity of these feelings and emotions is when I’m surrounded by my friends! It’s such a wholesome feeling to look at people you met randomly on one day at one art exhibition or in the market close to you favorite meat seller or through an argument in you favorite co-working space and over time they have come to mean so much to you. Even much more than you could’ve ever imagined.
I’m so grateful for them honestly, I don’t think I can say this enough, I don’t know what I would’ve done without them in many many situations.
I thank God everyday for allowing me to know how it feels, to feel. I’m grateful.

I hope everyone reading this understands the joy I felt in these moments trying to process how I felt. It might be a bit confusing but the way I’ve always seen it is like, our senses and our emotions are one of the many wonderful things we have been blessed with as humans. Being able to go through the process, to understand and to feel all these things neither good nor bad is indeed a blessing.

See you next time, stay curious. Byee

Photos are mine.