First Love

Photo by Tan Danh

Every time I reflect on my first relationship, I smile and wish that some moments can be reversed.

Joy was a pretty and smart lady. She attended a private school in Abuja, the federal capital territory of Nigeria before she relocated to Akwanga. Her brilliance was second to none.

Most of the young boys in the neighborhood had a crush on Joy because of her beauty and her good command of the English Language, she was just too good at it.

But one thing I like about Joy was her discipline, she isn't the type of lady that is open to anyone except those she is acquainted with.

Being my neighbor, it didn't stress me to start up a friendship with her. Joy usually comes to fetch coals of fire at my house, we were at senior secondary school one (SSS 1) that time

I have been observing her since she came. I wanted to talk to her several times but I never got the right opportunity until the day she came and we didn't make fire.

That day, my older sister and I were in the compound washing the dishes when Joy walked in holding a piece of metal in her hand. “Good evening,” she said with a smile when she came close to us.

“Evening, how are you?” my sister replied and continued washing.

“I am fine. Sorry for bothering you, I want to fetch some coals of fire,” she responded.

“Oh, sorry we didn't make fire yet,” my sister replied.

“Okay, thank you,” Joy responded.

The opportunity I have been looking for was standing right before me. I calculated how to start up a conversation and the right idea just came. As she was about to step out of the gate, I shouted, “but we have matches.”

My sister whispered, “ah, you this boy!”

“Please, lend me some of it if you can, “ Joy replied.

I rinsed my hands and wiped them on my shirt then walked to the kitchen and picked the pack of matches.

“Here is it, have it all, when you are done, you can bring it back,” I replied as I gave it to her.

“Thank you,” she smiled.

That was how everything began. After that day, anywhere Joy sees me, she greets me and loves to start up a conversation.

She loves talking about movies, especially cartoons, so, whenever we meet, our conversations are mostly about the latest cartoons.

Subsequently, we became good friends but it wasn't long before school resumed and we went apart because Joy attended a boarding school.

It was when she went to school that I began to have feelings for her. Suddenly, holidays seemed far away for me, everyday I was longing for the term to finish so Joy would come back home.

I discussed the matter with my friend, Andrew and he suggested I tell her how I feel when she comes home for holidays and I agreed but deep down, I knew I was just saying it.

When school finally vacated and she came back home, I had to write a letter to her. I couldn't go to her house because her Mom was strict. I sent the letter through her younger brother and it read, “ Dear joy, welcome back home, I have missed you.”

She replied, “I missed you too. I will come to your house tomorrow in the evening.”

The next day as promised she came in the evening, we sat under a mango tree behind my house. We discussed movies and our academics.

But my aim was to tell her how I was feeling towards her.

I almost said it when she held hand firmly. Joy, “I want to tell you something,” I said making a direct eye contact with her

“Okay, go on,” she replied.

I paused for a moment and cleared my throat, “I, i,” I stuttered trying to get the right word to use.

My heart began to beat fast, my legs started to shake but I managed to make everything unnoticeable by subtly shifting my weight from one leg to the other.

“Talk na,” she pushed me slightly with her leg as she tried to make eye contact with me.

“Never mind, It's nothing,” I replied.

She frowned and took her hand out of mine, “if you won't talk, I am going home,” she replied.

“Come on dear, don't be offended, I just wanted to tell you I came first in my class," I replied.

"Really? That's great, congratulations, but I am not sure that was what you wanted to tell me,” she replied, her voice sounding dull.

I noticed she was angry but there was nothing I could do, fear won't let me say what was on my mind.

We talked a little more, then went home. That same day, I visited Andrew and explained everything to him in detail because he and Joy are also very close.

“Shoot your shot again, I am sure she won't say no, but the longer you delay, the lesser your chances of getting her,” was what Andrew advised me.

I spent the night thinking about the whole thing and I saw how I let the opportunity I had to spit it out slip away. “I should have just said it," I hissed as I rolled on my bed.

The next day, I wrote to her, "can I see you please? There is something I want to tell you." This time around it was my younger sister that delivered the letter, i cautioned her not to give it to anyone if not Joy.

She brought a feedback that she gave it to her.

I waited for reply but it didn't come. That day was uncomfortable for me, it was not even about the reply anymore, I just wanted to see her even if she was not going to talk to me. Unfortunately, I didn't see her.

One week passed and I didn't see joy. I had to ask her little brother about her and he told me she traveled. I felt really bad.

She came back on Sunday afternoon the following week and as soon as she did, she replied to me.

“Sorry, I traveled to my aunt's place. I couldn't reply immediately because I was already set to leave when I got your letter. We will see tomorrow by 5:00 Pm under the mango tree and this time around please don't change the topic."

When I got the reply I was so happy. I spent the night practicing what to tell her.

The following day, I went to the venue before she did, wearing my favorite T-shirt and jeans. I also sprayed my sister's perfume.

When joy arrived, she gave me a warm hug. “You smell nice,” she said with a smile.

Photo by August de Richelieu

“Thanks dear,” I replied as we sat.

“So, what is it you wanted to tell me?” She asked, facing me.

My tension rose, again. I sat quietly for some time and didn't know what to say.

She smiled and shook her head, “You are in love with me right?”

I shivered, “who told you?” I asked, looking at her with my mouth agape.

“Is that it or not?” She asked

Hmm, I sighed. “Actually that is it,” I confessed.

“Then what took you so long?” She asked.

“I put my face away, I don't know, I was just scared,” I replied.

“Well, Andrew already let the cat out of the bag long ago. He was the first person I met when I came for holidays and he told me about how you feel towards me.”

“What?” I jumped up. “Andrew has finished me,” I exclaimed.

She chuckled, “You should be grateful to him, shy, shy,” she teased me.

We both laughed, then I said, “I am sorry it took me long, I love you Joy.”

She smiled and covered her face with her hands.

Say something please, I added when she was mute for what looks like forever to me.

Hmm, she sighed. “I have been in love with you for long, I have just been waiting for you to talk. So, I love you too.”

We sat longer than we ever did in that place that day just talking and laughing.

That moment was one of the best moments in my life. I appreciated Andrew the next day and since then, our friendship became stronger.

I and Joy dated for three years and the experience was beautiful, however, when we got admissions into college we broke up because of distance and poor communication.

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