Balancing Love And Correction: My Favorite Discipline Method

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One scripture I grew up with from Sunday school is "Train a child in the way that he should go, when he is old, he will not depart from it." No one can deny how crucial discipline is in parenting.

It is as important as providing for a child's basic needs, permit me to say that discipline is every child's right, the same way every child enjoys privileges like food, money, attention, care, and so on, from a parent, every child should also enjoy proper and healthy discipline from their parents.

Parents who fail to discipline their children are depriving their children of their rights and in my opinion, that's one of the biggest offenses any parent can commit to their children.

Different parents discipline their children differently, every parent has what works for them, and sometimes the discipline is even unique to each child. What works for one child might not work for another.

Disciplining a child is not an easy deal, it is not one of the complicated things in parenting, sometimes, as a parent one has to use different methods, switching from one to the other just to know which one the child responds to.

No wonder, some parents often say things like "I tried all I could but the child won't change."

I am not yet a parent but my younger ones are under my care and I know what I am facing when it comes to discipline. However, any parent who succeeds in this area, no matter the effort dissipated, will live to be proud of it. The effort is always worth it because the lives of these children depend on it.

From experience, in the part of the world where I live, most parents believe that the best way to discipline a child is by flogging them or assigning a harsh punishment but I noticed that those methods only end up hardening the child's heart.

I personally used them before but when I realized that is was unfruitful, it only instil fear on a child and not change I quit using them.

My favorite method to discipline a child is the scold and enlightenment method. I know you are wondering how it works, don't worry I have you.

Anytime my younger ones do something bad, what I do is scold them, I can act angry even if I am not, I will talk at the top of my voice but I avoid abusive words and then walk away.

Later, when I realized they are not still feeling guilty, I'll call them to my room and talk them calmly, telling them about the bad side of what they have done and tell them how angry it got me.

The truth is some of these children don't even know that a particular thing is wrong, some might know but don't know the consequences, instead of just beating them and calling them names, I think educating them before the punishment will do a great deal. This method is mostly for teenagers.

For children, the method I prefer is "deprive punishment," a child might not understand that he or she is wrong if all you do is shout at them or flog them. It might scare them but won't change them. Sometimes, what you might even get is a cry instead of a consciousness that they were wrong and a feeling of remorse.

Photo by Monstera Production

What I do is tell them what they did, sometimes taking them to the scene and pointing at what they did, then telling them that I will deprive them of certain things, especially what they liked for a certain period of time as punishment and the action is often with a frown face and a deep voice.

Sometimes, you will need to spank them a little too, especially when they are not complying even after receiving the punishment.

I won't lie. I also use punishments like making them kneel for some time but that's the highest punishment I can give a child. I have heard of situations where parents in an attempt to punish their children ended up inflicting injuries on them. As much as I am for discipline, there are lengths I don't agree with.

Since it's the correction you want to give, why inflict injury? What some parents need to understand is that it is the heart that takes correction and not the body, even if you damage the body, the injury won't reach the heart and if the child is hardened, he or she will not still change.

This is why our target during discipline should be the heart and not the body. If you can access a child's heart, then you have won when it comes to discipline.

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