My Family Circle: Gender Roles

Randomly watching reels online and I found this video of a man cooking, it wasn't just about the way he was throwing all the right ingredients in but you can literally feel his confidence as you watch from the screen, like he knows what he's doing and even though I had no way of confirming that, just seeing a man doing things in the kitchen impresses me a lot.

I can give you all of my wealth, if you know your way around the kitchen as a man.

I showed my Dad that video and I was like "see what you mates are doing"

Of course he gave me that much expected bombastic side eye because he knows I'm pulling a string on him. My dad can't cook. I can't the remember the last time I tasted something my Dad cooked. Apparently he is an advocate of the traditional gender role system, where a man is supposed to be the provider and the woman, a home-maker. He will always say "why will I have 6 daughters and be the one cooking for them, will I also be the one cooking for them when they get married?"

Someone that doesn't even know how to cook.

My mom will always disagree with him. She never supports the idea of gender related roles in the family. Even though I have only one brother, he wasn't excluded from doing things to help out around the home. She set an example of a working mother. I never knew her to be a housewife. She is industrious and hardworking in her business and managing her home too. At the start, my dad didn't actually support the fact that my mom has to work. He felt like he was bringing in enough funds to cater for the family's needs.

Regardless of the disagreement between both my parents in the issue of work, my mom didn't relent. She never considered closing down her business and becoming a full-time housewife and I'm happy she didn't. It's been almost 13 years now since my Dad stopped being the primary provider in the family. He lost his health and couldn't keep up with his job but in spite of that, we didn't actually feel it as much as we would have if my Mom didn't have something doing.

It wasn't really easy when the roles were switched, it was a change the whole family supported with an open mind. While my Mom became the breadwinner so to say, my dad still supported financially as much as he could for the family's needs and still learnt to run errands around the home. In the morning as mom is preparing to leave early for her business, you'll find my dad helping out to sweep the rooms while we I and my sister took care of the kitchen and other house chores.

My dad is also the one who shops for household items. It's been a long time now and I haven't been to the market to buy foodstuffs and other things. Each weekend he's always the one to go and buy the things we will be needing at home.

It's such a thoughtful way of helping out around the home and my big brother also got that from him. He works so hard to supports mom financially, notwithstanding, he still helps out in all the emergency shopping. For example, if we're home and we realize we didn't have the complete ingredients for cooking, I never think twice sending him a list of things he'll buy while coming back from work. I actually like when he buys things himself because even though I'm a girl, he gets things at a much better price and quality than I do sometimes.

My dad still doesn't know to cook. I'll continue to drag him for it.

I came home from work one day and you wouldn't believe he was complaining that he got a scratch from the gas cylinder while he was trying to make something when we were away. He gets scared when the gas catches fire quickly and while trying to remove his hand, he got a scratch. It was even funnier when he made the same complain to my mom when she came back and she told him he lacked home training.

Recently, each time I'm cooking, he'll come around and give instructions on how I'm going to make the meal to taste better. While leaving, he pick up some trash from the things I've used, probably sachets of seasoning and he'll be like "let me help you throw this in the bin before you mom will say I don't help out in the kitchen."
Sometimes, after setting up their food in a tray, he'll come in be like "let me help you carry it so your mom will know I'm very good in the kitchen"

Is he being serious?

Personally, when I get married and have my own kids, I'll teach my girls to also pursue their dream careers and become financially independent. That is in no way going to stop them from being homemakers and nurturers. My boys will be good cooks and will not have a problem with doing chores at home while still working hard to provide for their families. Those are life skills and has nothing to do with being male or female.

Images are mine