LOH 260: SELF DOUBT || WINNING OVER FEAR

There was a time when I really struggled with self doubt. I wanted to write an exam into the University.

I finished my secondary school without any problem, but honestly I didn't think I was going to pass. I guess that thought came from how I felt about myself, my height to be exact.

People always said I was small, they looked at me differently. Some even joked that I should still be in the early stage of my secondary school. That made me lose confidence in myself even though I tried to ignore it.

When the day for the exam neared, I felt more scare. What if I failed? What if my mates passed and I don’t? What if I have to rewrite the exam again? My head was filled with just 'what ifs' at that time.

I thought I was not ready for it yet, that maybe I should try again next year, maybe I would be ready by then. But my mind was against the thought. I was already too far.

I gave myself a few words of encouragement when I went to write the exam and I was so nervous.

I tried to calm down. I could not focus properly on the questions.

And after answering a few questions, I started feeling more confident. I actually knew the stuff. I stopped thinking about everything, about what anyone had said before. It was just me now.

When the results came out and I saw that I passed, I cried, they were tears of joy though. All the insecurities I had had before disappeared in that moment.

source

It didn't really matter my size, looks or background, it doesn't really define what I achieve. What matters is believing in myself and not letting fear win. Because fear can ruin a lot of things, that I know. And I am stronger than my fear.

Posted Using INLEO