Unsaid Apology
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Is there a time you expected an apology from your parents or an older person for wronging you, but it didn't come? Tell us what happened and how you felt when they didn't apologize despite knowing they wronged you.
I am sensitive and one who rarely talks about her hurt until it gets to a point she can not take it anymore. I have relied in or believed that people would tend to treat another person the way they would want someone to treat them, perhaps that's my perception about life and this perception has made me vulnerable and constantly hurt by people actions.
Overtime, I have learnt to put my emotions and feelings in check, learnt to build a wall around myself, watch my actions and reactions when I am hurt and most importantly air my hurt, and try not to hold on to grudges because most people consciously derive pleasure in hurting people without yaking a second guess or thought about how the person feels.
Nowadays, I take two things into consideration when someone hurts or wrongs me, it's either I walk away from the person and the friendship/relationship we shared, pretend like it never happened and still continue being friends with the person or talk about it, sort it out and life continues but my principles is , no matter the decision I make when faced with such situation, I have no option of holding onto the hurt or grudge for too long a time because overtime it develops and I end up hating the person which is something I do not want to do.
So, I have been hurt too many times and I can say at every moment, I have learnt to handle hurt differently depending on the situation and the person involved. I have washed down the drain a friendship that of years because of her words towards me and even when I had mutual friends tell me to not think much about the words this person said to me, I just couldn't bring myself to be best of friends with such person because I was sure, that I was genuine towards her.
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From where I am from, the elderly persons are always right, even when they know that they are wrong, they never see the need to apologise, only the few ones who understand what apology means and how it can go a long way to heal someone, does the needful when they realize they were wrong and the person regardless og the age deserves an apology.
I remember when an older person had gone to tell lies about me to my pastor and how on that particular Sunday morning, I came to church all happy and ready to dance but left the church sad and angry at the woman who had told such lies about me to our pastor. As if that wasn't enough, I was used as a case study in church during the sermon and sermoned by the pastor and elders of the church for questioning concerning the issue.
It was so bad that I got some elderly persons who knew me too well, calling me to inquire about what they heard from the woman who had made such allegations on me. I was mad at the woman because she wasn't just an elderly person but who mother, so I felt that she should have reached out to me first before taking it to the pastor but then, she did what she did and there was nothing I could do about it.
Well, a glimpse of what was said was that I usually bring my "Worldly friends" to the church and we danced and played some unacceptable songs which weren't right as I was a christian and people were watching.
Investigation was made and they all realized that lie and the rest of the lie that was allegedly against me were not true and the funny part is till today, I was not given an apology by the lady who started spreading this false information and the pastor who used me as a case study in front of the whole church that sunday morning.
The truth is back then when I see this elderly woman, I felt hurt, and hate towards her, and wished i could pay her back in her own coin for such embarrassment and disgrace she put me through, especially since she refused to apologise after the truth was revealed
It took me years to forgive her and let go of her in my heart but after realizing that I wasn't doing myself any good holding grudges and resentment against her because she may likely have forgotten about what she did because it's been years, I decided to forgive and purge my heart of any hate towards her or anyone because holding grudges or resentment only affects and messes with me psychologically, emotionally and mentally. So it was better for me to forgive and move on with my life.
This is my answer to Hive Naija Weekly Prompt | Edition 58
Thank you for reading!!!
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Some person are like demons sent to frustrate you as a person
Lol,most times you just have to avoid them or become their worst nightmare but whatever choice we make is based on our values and hurt.
True
I don't know why elderly people feel like they don't owe you an apology
Even after they are obviously wrong
I can't say, just maybe when I get to that age or level, I will be able to know because I don't understand their own ooo 🤷
Same here, elders are always right. They usually have ways of justifying their actions instead of apologizing. Too bad.
I love what I'm reading
Thank you 😊
The woman did too much telling those lies about you and I wonder what she wanted to achieve. The pastor approached the issue wrongly as well and that shouldn't be.
I expected him to ask you questions and he should even take such discussion to the altar. Although the truth was revealed, the apology never came.
Thanks for participating in the HN weekly prompt.