Parenting ~ Norms and Values
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I think the universe wants me to talk about this particular topic because I just came across a young lady who did a video expressing her distaste about how a young child was screaming, shrieking, crying, pulling her hair, and kicking her seat since her sit was in front of theirs on a plane she boarded for stretch three hours and the mother of the child did nothing to calm the child or was even conscious about how her child was creating a nuisance. She just let the child do all these and make all the other passengers on the flight feel uncomfortable because of her child's outbursts to crown it all, she said there was another child in that plane who may likely be of the same age but nobody even noticed that child was there because he didn't create a nuisance.
Now, while others sympathize with her, a particular woman comes up to call her judgemental and call her all sorts of names for expressing her distaste about the whole incident, thereby invalidating her experience and I am wondering why. I mean she explained in that video that it was a 3-hour journey in which she left her bed in the early hours of the morning at about 2 am and had expected to take a nap before the plane landed, so she could have strength and energy for the other task she had prepared ahead of her for the day and in the whole of this mess, the mother of the child sees no reason to caution the child or even apologize to the passengers for her child's outburst to the extent of pulling on a strangers hair and kicking her seat all through the flight.
I am here wondering, if I was the one, of course I know I wouldn't hit the child but I bet you, my eyes would have done a lot that even that child's mother would have understood and done the right thing because I did not understand why you can not try to calm your child for a while three hours flight and showed no concern because you are used to your child outburst and behaviour which of course you have to be used to because he is your child does not mean others are used to it or have to be used to it. I would understand if the child is a special needs child or a toddler but as a mother or parent not trying to calm your child down is wrong and unacceptable.
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I hope we all know and understand that we have people who have decided to be child-free because of many of these issues and I know that our archaic mindset would be like, they were given birth to, if their parents had chosen to be childfree, they wouldn't be here, well, their parents made there choice, and there are making their choice too and it is valid as long as it does not put anyone's life in danger or harm.
What are Parental Values and Norms?
Parental values and norms" refer to the core beliefs, principles, and expected behaviors that guide parents in raising their children.
Children live their lives based on how they watched their parents live their lives, they live by examples given to them by their parents. We have young adults who have so many archaic mindsets about marriage, women, and the world, life in general and if we want to check the origin of these, we would realize that it stems from the lives of their parents. We have adults whose attitudes, actions, and thoughts are bizarre and I wouldn't be shocked to find such lifestyle or thought patterns from one or both parents.
I would say that in this 21st century, parents need to do better and right by their kids because the rate at which parents are becoming less concerned about the welfare and upbringing of their kids is alarming. I wouldn't say that our parents did a better job with theirs back then because many of them had a terrible parenting style that demolished our self-esteem and self-confidence but I would say their parental skills, made many of us put ourselves in check even if we wish to go astray. You would hear an adult say "If not for home training, I know the things that I would have done or would be doing."
I am not blaming parents totally but I am saying that parents are the children's first teachers not just by words but by actions. Children not only watch but hear and can feel too. If parents aren't conscious of how they can instill discipline and values in their children especially when they are toddlers, it will be difficult to do that when they grow older into young boys and girls or teenagers and get to their adolescence or puberty stage. I know parents have a lot of responsibility on them but they shouldn't forget that how well they groom their children determines their character and attitude towards life in general and how they see life from their point of view and as they grow older they will see a replica of themselves either by words or by actions in their children and they will be sorry they didn't do a great job raising them.
We have plans of making the world a better place, then we all should start with ourselves, we should try to right the wrongs done by our parents and others in our lives and try to right the wrongs that we created by ourselves and for ourselves, so we can pass these unto our children and as much as we know that every individual has his or her personality or traits, we should also understand that a parents values or norms could shape a child's bad or negative personality traits if the parents is conscious about the upbringing of their child or children.
Like Jesus's disciples, our children follow their parent's footsteps and they only know better when they are the type that is willing to change, especially when they become exposed and have explored and then realize that so many things they saw, learned, and heard at childhood, especially from their parents aren't right.
This post was inspired by the #inleo community and my entry to the #Februaryinleo monthly topic on Day 13. Please check out the prompt
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Thank you for reading!!!
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