LOH Community Contest #173 ~ I Will Take The Other Way Out
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Nowadays, premarital sex is rampant among young people. What if you got pregnant, and encountered rude in-laws with a partner who is incapable of standing by himself or standing up for you? Would you rather endure their maltreatment, or walk out on your relationship and raise your child alone? Why?
There is something I have learned to do for myself, that is, "Love myself so much, that before I think about anything, I think about myself first" and "Not please anyone and hurt myself in the process", I won't try to please anyone when I am not pleased, so I please myself before I please anyone and that is because I have come to understand that it is me depriving myself of happiness and that I can never please anyone in this life. If it means being called selfish, I am fine with that, as long as it has to do with my life and does not hurt anyone.
That is why I want to make money and be so rich that I can take care of myself, meet my needs, sort myself out in situations that seem difficult, and have enough to do whatever I wish to do for myself and whosoever I put in my plan. In a situation like this, it is easier for the lady to take the nearest route possible out of the lives of her supposed in-laws if she has the money to cater for herself and her child at least while she is heavily pregnant and when she finally gives birth can sort herself out on how to continue fending for herself and her child.
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There is a reason I tell people when we talk about marriage that I am not in a haste to get married and start having kids and that is because I want to be financially buoyant enough not to depend solely on my husband's money and if it gets to a situation where I have to take a walk, although nobody prays for their marriage to hit a bedrock, I mean we all want to enjoy marriage that is why we go through all those stress that comes with it, but if it does, it would be easier to walk away because I know I am financially capable of standing on my own and taking care of my kids if he refuses to do his part as their father and it would make me not to be at his mercies.
I do not want to find myself at the mercy of anyone, I pray never to find myself at the mercy of anyone especially those who would use that period of weakness to their advantage, I know can never find or put myself in such situations, and that is how much I love myself to want to do that but if I mistakenly find myself in such situations and then we both agreed to keep the pregnancy and his family becomes a pain in my ass, I am going to walk out of the door without looking back.
My reasons are just simple, I love myself so much to want to stay in such an environment where their attitude or words towards me could kill my self-worth or self-esteem. As if getting pregnant out of wedlock is not enough to tarnish my self-esteem or self-confidence, getting trashed or getting rude comments from them without anybody to stand up for me during this period could cause more harm than good. I would love to protect my sanity and my health, especially as I am pregnant, I would need a lot of support at this moment but getting otherwise isn't ideal.
I wouldn't want to be caught fighting such battles because it is the worst thing that can ever happen to a woman, having in-laws who constantly make me feel unworthy and make life miserable for me all because of their son's relationship with me is something every woman prays not to encounter and at the stage when I am not even their son's legally wife, taking a walk is my option.
Secondly, I wouldn't want to raise my child in such an unhealthy environment, having grand-parents like that and having a father who can not stand up for himself, for their mother and how will he be able to stand up for his kids when the same attitude or aggression is passed on to his kids. I wouldn't want to go through the stress of continually fighting for myself and then my kids when I could have just left with them and have their father sort himself out with his family and maybe when he is ready to stand up for himself, he could come and take up his responsibility as their father.
This is my entry to Ladies of Hive Community Contest #173
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Exactly my dear
If the father can’t stand up for himself then will he even teach your kid
It’s a really good choice just that your child will ask so many questions about his dad
There is no harm in telling my kids the truth, and it still doesn't mean that if he one day decides to come out and take up his responsibility, I wouldn't give him the chance, I would, but the best thing to do for my kids, is to tell them the truth.
Yeah I agree
Having to raise children in an unhealthy environment can be very terrible. To have your money is good but more to that I pray for an good understanding between you and you husband and to understand the purpose of your coming together...purpose is the fire that keeps marriage going.
I loved reading from you dear one
The purpose can not stop the in-laws from acting up and should be a spur for him to stand up for himself and me but if he doesn't, decisions have to be made for me and my kids because I wouldn't want to fight such battles alone, it is draining and terrible to be the only one at the forefront of such battles.
Understanding of purpose is a good thing but when it is just one person fighting a battle for two, it makes no sense, the understanding of purpose is defeated 🤷♀️.
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Walking away is the best decision in a situation like this, cause having a man like that in your life can ruin you and your child, if he can't stand up for you that is his partner who else would he stand up for?
Why would stay in a house where you feel unhappy and invaluable, right? Having a child is a blessing and she's enough for a lady to continue living even without a partner or in-laws..
And it is good that you think about being financially independent even when you get married. It's also true that a wife shouldn't rely on her husband but rather be capable of doing things because we don't have control over everything.. If circumstances happen, then you will be able to get out of it safely and independently...
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I agree with your second opinion, but in our marriage we seem to be trapped in a situation that is awry. if we want to separate then GOD will be angry. If we endure conditions like hell then our mental health will be at stake.🥺🥺🥺
I would say this, that thought about God being angry when we decide to separate especially when it involves our lives is a modern-day slavery. Our lives are important and I am sure God wouldn't want to see us suffer and die on something we have a solution for.
We are not God and God hasn't said divorce or separation would make him angry with us, there is an instruction he gave us if we decide to separate from our spouse but in this case, there wasn't any sort of marriage.
Totally agreed with you. If the man is incapable, the best options is to take the next route