[EN/PT] We need more time with our children!
[EN]
The arrival of a child is undoubtedly a gift and a blessing for any family. For many, a home without children can be empty and lifeless, since the mission of man and woman is to grow and multiply on the face of the earth, according to the Holy Book (Bible). In addition, a child is often seen as the purest symbol of love and unity between parents.
However, the arrival of a baby brings with it a radical transformation in the couple's routine. Daily life changes profoundly, as both parents must devote most of their time and energy to caring for the child. Raising a child is a complex and challenging task, which goes beyond the simple emotional aspect. It also involves having a good financial situation and having time available to offer attention, love and quality care.
In Brazil, legislation provides for maternity leave, which guarantees women the right to take time off work for a period of 4 to 6 months after the birth of their child, depending on the company. This time is essential for mothers to recover from childbirth and establish a close bond with the baby, as well as providing breastfeeding and initial care. However, paternity leave is significantly shorter, lasting just two weeks. This difference reflects a traditional view of gender roles, where the primary responsibility for caring for the baby is attributed to the mother, while the father is seen only as the financial provider.
However, in my view, this period of leave for men is insufficient to allow fathers to play a more active role in the first moments of their babies' lives. Because during the first few days of life, the baby needs medical appointments, and often the mother has to face these commitments alone.
For men, all of this is very complicated, especially when they work for companies with strict policies; leaving work to support their wives can, in some cases, result in dismissal. This initial phase is very stressful, with a hectic routine.
The need for a longer period of paternity leave is evident when you consider the profound impact a newborn has on a couple's life. The first few months are often characterized by sleepless nights and a significant adjustment in routine. The lack of rest and the constant need to look after the baby can lead to extreme tiredness. At my work, for example, I was tired of seeing a coworker sleeping during the workday because he had spent the night helping to look after his child.
In my opinion, a maternity leave of at least 30 days would be a better way of enabling men to be more present in their children's lives in the early days. In addition to helping the woman in these more difficult days, sharing tasks and responsibilities in these initial moments.
I don't have a child yet, but I think about these things a lot. My biggest fear is that I won't have time to raise and be with my children. Life is very busy and we have to work harder and harder, because things are becoming more expensive and more difficult every day.
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[PT]
A chegada de um filho é, sem dúvida, uma dádiva e uma bênção para qualquer família. Para muitos, um lar sem filhos pode ser vazio e sem vida, uma vez que a missão do homem e da mulher é de crescer e multiplicar sobre a face da Terra, segundo o livro sagrado (Bíblia). Além disso, um filho é muitas vezes visto como o símbolo mais puro do amor e da união entre os pais.
Contudo, a chegada de um bebê traz consigo uma transformação radical na rotina do casal. A vida cotidiana se modifica profundamente, pois ambos os pais devem dedicar a maior parte de seu tempo e energia para cuidar da criança. Criar um filho é uma tarefa complexa e desafiadora, que vai além do simples aspecto emocional. Envolve também ter uma boa condição financeira e ter disponibilidade de tempo para oferecer atenção, amor e cuidados de qualidade.
No Brasil, a legislação prevê a licença-maternidade, que garante às mulheres o direito de se afastarem do trabalho por um período de 4 a 6 meses após o nascimento do filho, a depender da empresa. Este tempo é fundamental para que as mães possam se recuperar do parto e estabelecer um vínculo estreito com o bebê, além de proporcionar a amamentação e os cuidados iniciais. No entanto, a licença-paternidade é significativamente mais curta, com uma duração de apenas duas semanas. Essa diferença reflete uma visão tradicional sobre os papéis de gênero, onde a responsabilidade principal pelo cuidado do bebê é atribuída à mãe, enquanto o pai é visto somente como o provedor financeiro.
Porém, na minha visão esse período de licença para o homem é insulficiente, para permite que o pai possa desempenhar seu papel mais ativamente, nos primeiros momentos da vida do bebê. Pois, durante os primeiros dias de vida, o bebê precisa de consultas médicas, e muitas vezes a mãe precisa enfrentar esses compromissos sozinha.
Para o homem tudo isso é muito complicado, ainda mais quando se trabalha em empresas com políticas rígidas, sair do trabalho para apoiar a esposa pode, em alguns casos, resultar em demissão. Essa fase inicial é muito estressante e com uma rotina frenetica.
A necessidade de um período mais longo de licença-paternidade é evidente quando se considera o impacto profundo que um recém-nascido tem na vida de um casal. Os primeiros meses são frequentemente caracterizados por noites sem sono e um ajuste significativo na rotina. A falta de descanso e a necessidade constante de cuidar do bebê podem levar ao cansaço extremo. Em meu trabalho, por exemplo, cansei de ver um colega de trabalho durmindo no expediente de trabalho, pois tinha perdia noite ajudando a cuidar do seu filho.
Na minha opinão uma licena partenidade de pelo menos 30 dias, já seria algo melhor para dar condição do homem está mais presente na vida do filhos, nos primeiros dias. Além de ajudar a mulher nesses dias mais díficieis, dividindo tarefas e responsabilidades nesses momentos iniciais.
Eu ainda não tenho filho, mas eu penso muito sobre essas coisas. E meu maior medo é não ter tempo para criar e está ao lado dos meus filhos. A vida é muito corrida e precisamos trabalhar cada vez mais, pois as coisas se tornam mais caras e dificieis a cada dia que passa.
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Hmmmmm. So far as sleepless nights are concerned, there is no guarantee how long the phenomenon will continue. My son gave us sleepless nights for 3 years of his life. No one is hoing to get leave for such a long time, of course.
And about appointments, I think there is no need to take 4 weeks off. Simply, you can take a day off when there is the appointment.
!LOLZ, in other words, I don’t feel there is a need of paternity leave. Hehe. Maybe I am unable to understand what a father feels in this regard
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Never mind, skip it.
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@elderdark, I sent you an $LOLZ on behalf of amberkashif
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I understand your point of view, but the man's leave is to have more time with his child and create a more affective bond. The average employee in Brazil spends more time at work than with their family. I myself spend 11 hours at work, including a 2-hour commute and another 9 hours at work. When I arrive home exhausted from work and traveling, how will I have time to take care of my son?
Same is the case here, in Pakistan. My husband leaves home at 11 and arrives back at 11. My brother-in-law works from 9 to 8.
In the countries like ours, fathers don't usually have enough time for kids. They are more concerned with earning the good living for their family.
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You have raised wonderful points as to why fathers should be given longer paternity leave too while both parents help to nurture and be there for the kids, and not shifting the whole responsibilities and commitments to the woman alone.
Thank you! I stressed this part so much that I forgot to focus on the bonds created between father and son, I think that's more important!
It's interesting to note that we both share similar views. Paternity leave is also two weeks here in Nigeria, reflecting the lesser roles attributed to Men. As much as men have to fend for the family, they need to be present both for emotional and physical support and bonding with the newborn.
Thank you! I share the same opinion!
Exactly.
Fathers also need time to be with their babies and also assist the mother till the arrival of the mother-in-law or someone to help the woman. Even in the presence of a helper other than the husband, father also need leave, it's very important.
A mother-in-law or a support network is very important at these times.
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