What do we need?

we have seen it in movies and also in real life where a lady does not have to love their husband before they gets married, sometimes they might be following a tradition or just doing it out of respect for their parents. this is where most marriage problems start because some parents believe that their daughters don’t have to love before they get married to their husbands simply because it works for them and believes it will also work for you, the question is do we need love in marriages?

immediately most men started having money, and they began to go for their wants and not their needs this is why most men struggle financially and also why we struggle in marriages because we will always go for what we want which is not bad, but it is bad for the concept of marriage. That is why when he sees a woman he wants he will always go for them even if he’s married. men like this always cheat and remember our wants are infinite and the same thing goes with when you’re going for a woman that you want you always find yourself wanting more.

Different for ladies

this is different for ladies because you don’t have to love or you don’t even have to want that person before you get married to them. We have some traditions that from the day that you are born you already have a husband and whether you want him or whether you need him you have to get married to him. it mostly happens when the family you are getting married to is wealthy and parents want security for the children and this is where the concert of security for ladies comes in.

it has happened for generations that women get married to a man that they don’t love at all, and it’s still happening in this generation as long as the man can provide security and you make the woman feel secure you will get what you want. Women go for their needs which is security and men go for their wants. This is why we have so many problems in marriage these days because immediately the wants or the needs are not there, it will create an imbalance in the marriage or create an imperfect environment. This is why it is very difficult to see long-lasting marriages.

What do we need?

I have seen a lot of arguments on the Internet about what we need in marriages and some people argue that love is not enough which I agree, but Love should be the starting point for everybody who wants to marry. your wants and needs should not come first. This is where we are having the problem because some people believe that immediately you get into the marriage love will come in the process, which doesn’t always happen like that. You can stay with somebody for many years without loving them even when you try to build a loving relationship with them.

I believe for two to work they must work together. when our wants and our needs come first, it is very obvious that the two have different agendas, how can you have a long-lasting relationship with somebody you have different views and goals with? It will always be one-sided. most people are now doing a relationship as if it is a contract. Nothing bad if you know what you want and what you need, but make sure that you love the person that you want to get married to and be attracted to that person, without this marriage can be a very difficult journey if you don’t get it right.

Thanks for your time.

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