Honest Talk About Puberty for Boys and Girls

When You Become the Target
Battling with so-called taboo things isn't easy. Firstly, you have to become the target, then your thoughts are considered lethal for others, and lastly, you are left alone. But I won’t stop this battle with a society that says you have to admire even the wrong things and keep a curtain on them, as no one talked about them earlier, so they must remain closed. Let's dive deep into topics that are sensitive yet need to be talked about.
The Silence Around Puberty
Stuff related to puberty is considered taboo in our society. I believe both genders must have knowledge about these things so they can grow in a peaceful environment, not in a curious one where curiosity could lead to awful things. Puberty is something we all face, and now it comes too early, so the best time is to tell your kids about it sooner so they don’t feel embarrassed or ashamed during school life.
A Red Stain and a Lifetime of Shame
Menstruation is something about which not even girls, let alone boys, are guided properly. They ask their friends or search on Google about it, but in all this, they gain a lot of stress. Finding a red spot on a girl's shirt becomes her most hateful memory of school life. She runs toward the washroom to clear the mess with water or tissue but can’t save herself from embarrassment. It’s my message to all parents out there: kindly observe your child’s behavior, and if you notice signs of puberty, let them know about it.
What Every Girl Deserves to Know
For girls, puberty mostly hits between the ages of 9–14 years, where they may notice changes in their breasts; they might become tender, etc. Pubic hair may develop on the face, underarms, and pubic parts. These are indicators of puberty. When these happen, let her know about the menstrual cycle, which is going to start soon. It’s common for all girls, and it’s natural for women to have it. Stay polite while explaining, as hormonal changes are also imbalancing her emotions.
Just like urination, they have to face menstruation. They need to use tampons or sanitary pads for this purpose. It usually doesn’t last longer than a week, but during these days, she has to go through a lot of anxiety due to hormonal imbalance. It’s the time when the body is preparing for pregnancy, so it’s common for all girls. Hygiene must be maintained. To keep herself clean, provide her with everything like deodorant, pads, and enough confidence to face the world.
When Boys Begin to Change
For boys, they will see the development of secondary organs like facial hair, pubic hair, and underarm hair. Their voice also gets deeper when they hit puberty between 9–12 years. They notice changes in their private parts, such as the penis changing in size and experiencing wet dreams. Let them know it’s not in their control and not their fault if it happens. It’s not a sign that they have had sex; it’s just an indication that the body is preparing for it. Politely listen to them about the changes happening in their bodies. Encourage them to maintain hygiene and provide them with proper clothes and undergarments. Give them confidence to go through this period, as it’s not a moment of embarrassment. Also, tell them about puberty in girls so they can be helping hands instead of making fun of them.
Parents, the First Teachers of Puberty
Stay empathetic with your child, as they are going through this experience for the first time. Stay peaceful and maintain good communication with them. Listen to them carefully and provide enough emotional support, as hormonal imbalance also affects their emotions. They need your help, so be prepared for them.
My Experience and the Cost of Silence
This puberty thing causes embarrassment for all of us. Even in my case, I was unaware of it. Having sisters and a mother at home, I was too reluctant to ask about anything. I remained in trauma at my age as I had zero guidance. I hated myself a lot for having wet dreams, feeling ashamed, and considering myself a sinner. I regret not having enough knowledge. I was sent to the shop to buy pads, and the people around me looked at me with sarcastic and awkward eyes. I had no idea what they were for until I Googled it. I supported my sisters, as I was alone in the past too. Even if society considers these topics taboo, I don’t mind it at all. In my next blogs, I will be covering more sensitive topics like this.
yes, growing up was hard. I'm so glad I am adult na! :P
When I was in 9th grade, I thought there were two types of humans, those with hair and those without. When I first noticed underarm hair, I felt sad about being hairy, thinking it was some sort of curse. Later, I learned that most men naturally have body hair, except in a few exceptional cases.
😅 yea.. getting hair in strange places.. I was really proud tho, when I could shave like my dad!
You had a dad with u. In 9th grade, my dad was in a different country and I was only boy in the family. We talked with dad on skype but he never teached me about puberty hairs nor I had friends (whom I could talk to, I had friends but I was shy) as I was an introvert back then. It wasn't easy for me at all.
My female teacher once taught me about puberty hairs. She came like an angle for me, taught me about erasers instead of scissors. I was close to her then my own sisters or mother or grandma.
So maybe the issue wasn't about male or female guardians but maybe fatherless children are different even if they r working in a different city or country. I think it kills confidence. But that's just my life, everyone is different.
hmmmmmmm, that's true. I guess having a dad around makes a HUGE difference. I was so lucky. :) I wud always here my friends complain about their dads.. and I wud just quietly smile cuz mine was good.
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It's incredible that there are people who want to use their voice for these kinds of issues. I really liked how you approached everything. And I hope this reaches as many people as possible. It's true that one feels very embarrassed when entering this stage of life, I even feel that it becomes somewhat overwhelming, there are many changes in our being and little information about what to do or how to act.
It's time that these kinds of issues, which every human being goes through in their life, stop being treated with indifference. I really liked this post.
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Thanks for your kind words. How was your puberty period? Anything you wanna share? Who teached you about changes in body first time?
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I think parents are not so free to open up such a conversation. And that's the reason children can't share their thoughts with parents either thinking that it's such a thing that should be hidden or shameful. It's a normal thing but we made it like a top secret. In case of girls I think it's more complex process compared to boys and as far as I know many girls even find it hard about what to do? I read about the menstrual cycle in details when I was in XI class and I felt that everyone should know about it but it was only available on science. I believed at least all female should know about it even if not a student of science. It's a normal process and we should not feel shy to share it. It says that we are ok and fine.
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Okay, so.... learning about it in class XI is nice, but by that time most of the changes in the body have already started happening. Some girls get their first periods at 15 or even younger. In my opinion, class XI is too late. Also, I think parents should be the first ones to teach about these changes. We can’t rely on TV ads because they can teach about pads but not about how to wear them. I mean, what if there’s a leakage? Even with good brands it can still happen if the size isn’t right, especially for a 12 to 15 year old who’s just starting to use it.
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Wow, this is great, you are very right, our society sees topics like this as taboo indeed.
Thanks!