WE SHOULD ALL BE FEMINISTS (A book by Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie).
Only about 60 pages long, Chimamanda Ngozi Adichie explained to the best of her abilities what true feminism is. Prior to now, I had no idea that someone could take my thoughts for years and compress them into a very readable book. I guess this is why she is a renowned author. She has her way with words.
I read this book earlier today and had to stay away from DMs asking why I was claiming to be a "Feminist" all of a sudden. Fact check, I am not "claiming" to be a feminist. Turns out I am one, I just had no idea. Unlike the author of this book, I haven't been called one to my face. Like I told someone, we can't possibly control the reaction of everyone to the concept of feminism. Like every good thing that started, it has been soiled by both well wishers who misunderstand what it is and those who are just outrightly threatened by change. We only have control over our immediate environment in how we respond to it.
Two years ago, I wrote a piece on gender and how it wasn't a determining factor for a person's strength or weaknesses. It is just gender not a way of life. Back then, I had no idea that what I was doing held strong ties to feminism. Unfortunately, I had a myopic view towards the term and like everyone else, I fed into the societal cycle that always rinsed and repeats. I was always cautious when conversations entered such territory. Today, I did what I always do when processing new information, thoughts or emotions. I retreated. To fully understand something, I take a step back and access every incident leading up to that moment. Finally, after much back and forth, I came to the conclusion that I am a Feminist, only that I am a knowledgeable one. I am a woman alright and I accept all of who I am and my strengths.
I will not bother trying to explain what true Feminism is, but like I told someone, after I was calm enough to reply,
Chimamanda is right when she says we should all be feminist. This isn't a topic we should skittle by or shoot down. It has become the norm to try "talking" to someone who says they are a feminist, become a norm to label them as angry and bitter. I am not saying there are no rotten eggs, but the bad eggs are not the poultry. Find the message and walk with it. That is what I did and pretty much what I do with most convictions and principles in my life.
In conclusion, this isn't a protest like some people have come to my DM to say. I have known this all along. I was just ignorant enough to not see it for what it is. I do know that many people would still twist my words and want to "talk to me" about my newfound insight. That is no problem. Like I said earlier, you can only control what is within. My conviction is all that matters. Best book I have read in the year 2025!
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This is a beautiful reasoning to be honest. It's rather sad how feminism has been painted as the opposite of what it actually is due to ignorance. And it's not just from men, even some women use feminism to defend their unjust rudeness. I love how she emphasized that being a feminist does not make you any less of a woman, ofcourse one can still enjoy being girly, it is just not for validation from men or anyone as a matter of fact.
I have always liked to stay away from calling myself a feminist because it is such a controversial title. And while I still won't call myself one, I do enjoy topics of discussions around femininity. While some people believe "what a man can do, a woman can do better", I believe women should allow themselves be women, but gender (the fact that you're a woman) should neither be a limiting nor a determining factor to a woman's goals, mission, vision, passion or success. A proper feminist understands that every human being, both male and female have both masculine and feminine traits, finding a balance and leaning more naturally to express one is highly important.
I'll definitely check out this book. Thank you for sharing this.
Yes.
The most valuable takeaway from that book is that I am a woman and I am strong in womanhood. It's sad that some of her experiences there, I experienced them. Especially with the part when there is no male. It's only been I and my mom for a long time and we have had to deal with outright disrespect from uneducated men and women. Especially me, as the daughter of a single mom. With the way society has made us look like things from hell, it's a wonder why many young girls from single moms put on amours that can be perceived as rudeness. People just try to make a monster out of you, doesn't mean you should be. So you're right, even if their attitude is unjustified (I'm talking about the people who use feminism unjustly), their pain is valid.
I'm so sorry about your experience. Society can indeed be unjustly judgmental towards what they have deemed unacceptable. I wonder who actually created those standards. Absolutely ridiculous!
I'm so glad you have allowed it shaped your thought pattern into this amazing woman you are.
!LADY
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Well said Coach,very well said. If every "feminist" of this time can think like this instead of directing their energy towards hating and competing with men then this name tag won't be as controversial as it is now,neither will it inspire as much hate as it does now.
Exactly!
This wave of feminism have made it something of a competition. It's not. Instead... I believe that I can be feminist, love my partner and accept my friends who are male for who their are. Heck! I appreciate men. There needs to be balance in this world and the male being who they are and females being who they are creates that balance. Feminism has been poorly misconstrued to be misandry which God forbid I ever find myself. I love my man, I appreciate men and I don't deny their existence. I will have a son someday and I will appreciate him and his father will play a major role in raising him right, to be the man he should be.
This is a very important point, I am delighted to have come across a woman reflecting on this. Information is power and ignorance is what makes constant confrontations end in misunderstandings.
I haven't read the book, although I already downloaded it, but of course we should all be feminists. You are quite right not to go into detail on why, I think everyone who has a real interest in building a harmonious society should delve into these basic concepts, but because of fear, it often slips through our fingers.
Congratulations, this is wonderful. We are not responsible for educating anyone but ourselves and with this we already do a lot for our society. Sending you a hug with all the sorority that it deserves. 👏
Thank you very much. The truth is you have said it all. I don't bother trying to make explain anything because people will be people. Let their interest do the work for them, if not, let it slide.
I find that having conversations like this becomes beautiful and impactful with the right crowd. The wrong crowd takes it turns it upside down. They just make it about them, which in totality, it's not. It's about creating balance. Unfortunately, not everyone is calm enough to just accept that others won't see things their way. So they fight it to the very end, even at the detriment of others or themselves.
Thank you so much for your thoughtful and generous response. Sending you lots of love. 🌹🌹🌹
Totally agree! Connecting with people who are open to understanding and dedicated to the common good and disinterested, is highly fulfilling.
The problem with those who are unwilling to rethink things is simply the fear of losing their privileges. The history of humanity and patriarchy, the same as always. However, I do not lose hope, I believe that a very good job has been done, and a proof of this is that at least we already understand what this is all about.
🌹 love back to you darling!
It's how all of a sudden, the word 'feminist’ is now being seen as a slur. It's now thrown all about as an insult. And i have seen women afraid to wear that title for fear of backlash or being called bitter people. Sometimes, i try to stay on my own and be neutral but that's not me. I am a woman. It's not a choice. I revel in my feminity. I love being open-minded. I love having debates on topics. I want a world where women are seen as women, not the weaker gender. I want a world where women are free to walk about at any time of the day without fear. I am not embittered or angry (maybe I am angry😂). I'm just a feminist.
You've done a lovely review.✨
Awwww! You’re so sweet! I get it too. Yes, there is a little bit of anger but it is justified. And how poorly they have portrayed feminism. All said, I love being a woman. And if I can’t be taken seriously as one, I would rather just ignore society and its ridiculous norms.