Rebellious Hope
I told my best friend that this post would be very emotional. Emotional in the sense of what I’m trying to convey or maybe just letting it all out. I know almost nobody reads my post and maybe that is what gives me a sense of comfort. No one would read this one.
See, I lost interest in everything. Every single thing that I used to like, things I used to love just seemed to gut me. I come across things that made me happy and it’s like a reminder that I am not happy. That I am not doing okay. That I am constantly anxious of the future and dissociated from the present. I hate it. But what can I do? Right?
When we are asked if we are okay, 99% of the time we lie. We say we are. The line “I’m fine” is so popular that no one wants to see beyond it. In fact, I see that it is now the norm with some people to not know that you’re not fine. Social media presents insensitivity as being cool. I saw a meme in the likes of, “when she says she’s not fine, ghost her.”
Now, I know this is taken in a particular context but seriously, everything heavy and issues that are meant to be dealt with are now taken for granted. We laugh at everything and say, “it’s not that deep”. Well, it is that deep. It is heavy, and maybe we have just become so weak to accept that life is filled with its own turmoils.
This would be another one of my many emotional posts. I am not fine. I don’t think many of us are but we tough it out. On my part, I have learned how to drown the voices that do nothing but lie to me. I have discovered ways to not let my fear and anxiety drown me. This is what I do. Daily, I do it.
When I began writing this post, I asked myself just how honest I was willing to be. I figured that I can be honest in just this, “I’m not fine.” Takes a lot of guts to admit that in this generation today and not fear the judgments or call out.
I find my peace now in long walks, morning prayers and study of my Bible. Those are the only times I don’t drown in my thoughts and fears. I find peace in meditating and yoga. In my classes. Things might not be going right, but I love what my friend showed me about rebellious hope. With his permission, I shared the lead photo. That’s been my life these days.
I went for a walk this evening as I and my cousin have come to do these days. We leave phones at home and walk. Talking and listening. I always come home feeling better.
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I know it took so much to write this, but please be fine princess🫂🫂
Good Morning 🌅 and thank you very much 🌹
Feeling like that is a bugbear through life. Glad you found rebellious hope 😍
Yes indeed. Thank you ☺️
It's funny, but, if I hear "I'm fine", I know that is complete bollocks.
In my day though, we would just be told to get on with it!
One of the hardest things is not knowing what to say to someone.
That bag though, spoke to me and I am glad you used it.
Yeah. That’s always the thing. We don’t know what to say and for those on the other end, we don’t know how to feel towards whatever is said. We’re not even sure what we want you to say and so the back and forth, we just lie and say, “oh I’m fine.”
Uhuh and I just want to shake some people
Well, and then some people get angry when they can’t shake some people…
Well, and then some people get angry when they can’t shake some people…
Oooooooh very true!
Helen’s now a godmother.
See what a cute wee fluffer. Doesn't it uplift you when you see them ... The little things Deraa that keep us sane in life
Yeah. I’m about to make it a celebrity 🤣
hehe and why not, a he or she?
I didn’t check. Just knew it is a goat.
okay well name it a unisex
name
Like Gretamopolitan?
Well it is a goat so yeah I would use a G too, like Giggles
That’s brilliant!
Yes, yes I am, you're welcome
Smart arse!
See how positive that comment is ...
compared to a ...
dumbass!
😩