Love: The Art of Letting Go(d)

I have come across so many definitions of love. Everyone has something to say about it and many times, the versions of love I come across are the “selfless” kind at the expense of someone else. The only person who has to be selfless and constantly accommodate the shortcomings isn’t “us”. We have standards that we place above people. Standards that we ourselves can’t meet.

I have come across many definitions and examples of what love is; what it should be. I do wonder if these definitions are true and not altered by selfish people who just don’t understand what true love is. People blinded by the error of their ways so much so that they have become loving people in their own eyes. I do wonder, is love really all about holding on?

I see talks about “if you love me, you won’t let me go”, “you will accept me as I am”, “you will work for me”, “you will change for me”. All these aren’t bad. They can be described as love as well. It is beautiful to watch people become best versions of themselves in love.

What I do wonder is why the other part of it isn’t really thought about so much. Sometimes, holding on to something causes more pain than it heals. Sometimes, the truth hurts and the truth most of the time is that the people we work to keep may have never been designed to stay with us in the entire course of our lives. They were brought for a specific time and season. Once they fulfill that purpose, we find so many excuses as to why they should remain close. This only causes more pain. They have lived their story in your life, don’t you think it’s the purest form of love to let them go?

Don’t go making up stories in your head about why the friendship died, how they weren’t doing enough. They weren’t there. True as all these things may be, what if you are just letting your pride kill what’s left of the love between you? Why not just let it fizzle out, pure and beautiful as it began. Why are you angry? It could be a sign: the purest form of love is letting go.

I have been battling with a lot of thoughts and one of them is the subject of people. I am surrounded by the most amazing people but I have come to realize that I may not yet be my “amazing” self. This simply means I have a lot to work on. Call me a coward, but I have looked within and it is obvious I am still filled with filth. This filth may just be affecting people around me. People I care about. So, I want them to leave.

By the time I am done rearranging and cleaning this project (myself), we may have moved on to different phases in life where nothing can ever be the same. I am satisfied knowing that I took out the bad egg from the velvet box.

I don’t think these words would truly cover how I am feeling as I write this by 00:51am but if I would try to describe it, I would say it is a feeling of loss, acceptance and gratitude. I don’t know how else to put it. There is so much work to do on me. So much to clean out, a lot of reprogramming that needs to be done. What I do know is I would be a better version of me and I will never hurt my friends (whoever the Lord has set to come my way) again.

I truly believe the reason I haven’t met those people yet is because I still have some rather toxic traits that need to be dealt with. And He has used past and current relationships to lead me to this point, right to this very moment. I feel seen to be honest. So, as much as I feel the loss, I am grateful for the corrections. There is work to be done and the goal is to love selflessly for real. Not just that, to let go and let God.