Are You Getting Everything Done? The Lost Joy of Idling…
I remember a while back somebody asked me if I was "getting everything done."
I assured them that yes, that I was coping, and then I got to thinking about this idea of getting ”everything” done.
Perhaps the question is a little bit silly because I'm not sure that we humans have a way to actually get everything done. If you think about it, most of us end up actually going into a pine box at the end of the line with lots of things that have been left undone.
Which leads me to ponder the possibility that part of our dilemma may be that we're simply trying to get too many things done, meaning that our particular version — speaking individually here — of everything is actually a completely unattainable goal.
Mrs. Denmarkguy is gone for the week, visiting a girlfriend in Spokane, WA. This means that — at least theoretically — I am in charge of doing ”everything” while she's away. And even if I don't feel particularly in charge of it at least I am responsible for it!
Her absence really makes me appreciate her daily contribution, while also serving as a fine example of how both people within a household likely live in a perpetual state in which their ”everything” takes up all available time.
So I'm sitting here thinking about the hundreds of books I have read about "living a happy and fulfilling life," and the great number of workshops and retreats I have attended over the years concerning that particular subject and the one thing I keep coming back to is that nobody ever includes ”idle time” as part of that particular formula.
Depending on what you read and who you talk to there is a substantial cultural subtext to suggest that time spent idle — or ”not doing” — is basically wasted life.
I have to admit that maybe this is something more prevalent in the USA than in other parts of the world… when I first arrived here from Europe in 1981 — from both Denmark as well as Spain where I had lived for three years — one of the things I most noticed was the fact that everybody always seemed to be ”doing” something, all the time.
I suppose I have just never had much of a natural inclination to be doing something all the time.
That said, for a number of years I actually did buy into this mythology of getting everything done, and placed a fair amount of stress on myself at the realization that I was somehow failing, and I was definitely not enjoying myself in my pursuit of always staying busy! After all, I thought I was doing the right thing...
So I have these days to myself, but there will be no idling... as there are bills to pay, and that requires the opposite of idling.
Maybe idling will come back into my life some day... perhaps when I have figured out how to live on less. Who knows?
Thanks for stopping by, and have a great Sunday!
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Created at 2024.10.20 01:45 PST
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Always a niggling feeling something has been forgotten, work continues whether one or two get stuck into fulfilling the chores, it has to be done none the less.
Enjoy your week doing your best!
Thanks Joan!
In the end, all we really can do is our version of our best, but the difficult thing — for most people, at least — is perhaos making peace with the notion that sometimes our best simply won't be enough.
You have a great week, as well!
We have to live for today, try our best, be happy, too many much outside interference tends to confuse.
When I am busy, i prefer idling and when I am idling, i prefer doing something. I don't think there can be any balance to this.
Sometimes it's difficult to find that balance, to be sure.
I discovered — at least for me — that when idling and feeling like I "had to" get up and do something, it was not ME speaking, it was SOCIETAL expectations poking at me.
Exactly! That's a good view
This post is a really great observational piece. I live in the UK and people always have to give the impression 'they're busy', even when they're not. They dare not say they're not busy as though it could be frowned upon or something. I mean how on earth could someone ever find the time to not be busy? That would be a lazy indolent person wouldn't it?!
I noticed even my own parents would have to subscribe to this societal norm which dictates you must always keep busy. And I think this is what you are explaining here, at least in part, with this post.
One of the classics my dad used to say when asked by friends how things are or how he and my stepmum were doing he would automatically respond well we haven't had time to stop really, again it was very important he gave the impression he was busy because otherwise he might look weak and useless somehow.
Work is important and being active is also important, that goes without saying. But you also need to be lazy sometimes, you need time for self indulgence and to unwind and destress. That's nothing to be embarrassed or ashamed of. We all need to do that, right? Perhaps if more of us found the time to be less busy, worry less about unhelpful societal conventions we might just still get things done but be a bit happier too.
Thoughtful comment, thanks!
As a piece of background, I am a Danish national, but while I was born there I didn't always live there. Of my first 20 years, about 12 were spent in Denmark, five in the south of Spain and three in the UK. Then I came to the States for University, but still went back and forth a lot for another five years. Since then, I've settled permanently here, although we do go back for holidays every few years or so... less frequently since the whole Corona circus. My mother was Danish, my Stepfather English.
My point being that some of the whole "busy-ness" tendency is likely cultural... and its extreme dwells here in the States. In retrospect, there was a certain joy to the Spanish way where so many things were done on the "mañana" principle... and the world basically rolled up at 1:30-2:00pm and everyone had "siesta" till 5:00... even construction sites, shops and so forth.
A friend of mine has dual citizenship US/Indonesia and he once pointed out similar differences. At one time — while helping US hotel chains get established in Indonesia — he had to explain local lore to western management. They were having a hard time keeping staff at the hotel, even while paying three times what anyone could hope to make locally. They would have really good workers who would then just quit and "for no particular reason." Turned out that when they had made enough money to not work for a year... they just stopped working and went back to their villages, never having changed their original lifestyles just because they had a well-paying job.
Maybe there's something to be learned there...
Yes, the whole busyness mentality is almost certainly a cultural thing, that's interesting that you believe the extreme of that mentality is more prevalent in the United States. I can believe what you're saying given the different countries you have lived in, that must be quite a broad insight and provides an excellent referent point.
I would still like to believe that the Spanish shut everything down for an hour or two each day to fit in a siesta, but not sure it's a convention that is followed much these days.
If we can earn enough money while still retaining what quality of life is left for generations that have come after boomers, then I'm all for it, no matter how you do it.
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You have raised a dilemma that we all have since we start to mature and get older. We start in a race for wanting to do “everything” as if our life depended on it; graduating or getting the job of our lives, maybe getting married and having a big family, maybe having the ideal partner or whatever it means for those who manage to do “everything” in life.
Without realizing that this is what our life is all about and that when we come to realize it, we realize that in reality we have not achieved everything we wanted. What irony, isn't it? That's life, I loved reading you, I identified with you, greetings!