Spiny Sail Clam (Or, How Humanity Almost Made a BIG Mistake)

A pure fractal made in Apophysis 2.09

“Man, I wish I knew how you stay so trim in middle age!”

“Look, John, when you eat in the galaxy, controlling your appetite for food is like controlling your appetite to conquer new worlds in space: nobody and nothing out here needs you to be here, so you are really saving your life.”

I loved my husband's simple, straightforward wisdom, but eased my way out of the conversation until he came to find me in the next room.

“Khadijah!” he said. “How long have you been home?”

“I walked in from the latest hearing five minutes ago, Rufus, but you were in communication so I eased back in here to relax.”

“How was it today?”

“Terrible. My crew is just being straightforward about what happened between us and the Farragut, and certain officers on the case keep having me come in talking about, 'Captain, is this what was reported to you?' and just nit-picking every little thing because certain people really don't want to believe that newly demoted Ensign Donaldson deserves to be on sweeping duty in the brig while I'm just out here saving the day with newly promoted Capt. Smalls who is going to get command of the Edgemont.” A lot of people in the admiralty had their eye on Captain Donaldson, and they are disappointed.”

“But they wouldn't dare talk with Commodore Allemande about that – petty little tyrants,” my husband grumbled.

“Oh, no,” she said, “but he came to court anyway and got threatened with contempt of court and said, “It would be an honor to be held in contempt standing up to such contemptuous foolery – you leave Captain Biles-Dixon alone with this mini witch-hunting you are doing, trying a save a man I demoted for nearly getting 868 people killed!”

“I bet they didn't do a thing to him,” Rufus said.

“Nope. He left the door cracked on purpose and all the reporters just stuck their recording devices in as he started rattling off from his 95-year-old memory why the mini witch-hunters needed to hold themselves in contempt – he had filed a friend of the court briefing and justified it! Got a couple of people to recuse themselves and go find something safe to do!”

Capt. Rufus Dixon, my husband, had a good laugh about that as he wrapped me in his arms.

“I wish I could tell you the commercial fleet was doing better today, but, ugh,” he said. “That was John Gorton, and you know he is still trying to get people to 'Trust the Gorton's Fisherman,' but he nearly lost it all over some spiny sail clams from Thesper 3.”

“Oh no,” I said, because my uncle, Admiral Benjamin Banneker-Jackson, had already tried to keep the seafood lovers of the galaxy out of trouble.

“They go down as smooth as oysters, and then they open up the spines afterward,” I said. “That's how they kill their prey – and nobody has read Uncle Benjamin's report yet?

“No one even knows they are sentient yet,” my husband said as he shook his head.

Sibling pure fractal made in Apophysis 2.09, rendered on blue

“John was sitting up there conflating them with spiny shell crabs from Ghesper 5, and about to risk it all, personally and professionally, talking about how they are a delicious morsel worth the trouble.”

“Good thing he called you first,” I said.

“You know it,” Rufus said. “However, Mark [Marcus Aurelius Kirk, younger cousin to J.T. Kirk the famous fleet officer] and I were talking about asking you to ask Cdre. Allemande if he has a son or a cousin like him that we can hire to handle these queries, because this is getting ridiculous.”

“I'll ask,” I said, “but remember: people call you because when you set them straight, they still feel like they might survive. You put a younger version of Wilhelm Allemande in as safety inquiry officer, and no one is ever going to call. But, my first officer, Helmut Allemande, might be a better type for a fit.”

“Good point – I keep forgetting that most people have more ego than curiosity or desire to get things right,” Rufus said. “Someone has to take the calls to keep the ones trying to do better encouraged, because professional colleagues don't let professional colleagues swallow spiny shell clams from Thesper 3 just because the questions are annoying.”

“Exactly,” I said, and kissed his cheek to encourage the encourager.