From Bud to Throne: Eighty Years Watching Reoihli Royal Fungi

A pure fractal made in Apophysis 2.09, overlaid on itself in three different ways

If blooming bugs are winging across the sky in the skies of the West Coast on Earth, it is time to check the live feed to see if the Reoihli Royals have bloomed yet.

Unlike the Tuitirian Cicadas who are among the few aliens allowed to naturalize on Earth, Reoihli Royals are firmly in what we humans consider the vegetable category of life, and really are a massive fungi that runs the ecosystem of Reohli's massive rainforests at the ground level. They have never been brought to any other planet, nor could be without trouble not worth taking – they have no commercial value worth disrupting them where they are.

So then, every time a tree falls in the forest, it does make a sound, and that sound alerts the Reoihli Royals to bud up and eat up, covering the fallen tree and the scar in the soil with slowly growing fungal buds.

The key term is “slowly.” Admiral Benjamin Banneker-Jackson and Captain Almira Banneker-Jackson, my aunt and uncle, chuckled that the real birthday present for living into their sixties was to actually see a set of Reoihli Royals who were in their first stage in their childhoods reach their second stage of maturity.

Now, after these stately fungi reach their second stage, they really pick up their pace – the second stage means they have broken down the tough parts of the fallen tree and are about to pick up the pace to a mere 20 years … so, while my uncle and aunt and the whole crew of the Amanirenas (including me, their captain) were cycling through the kind of discovery that the destruction of another starship – the Farragut – required, in that year we and the crew of the Farragut and Commodore Wilhelm Allemande put up the Reohli Royals livestream – the planet's botanists kept an eye on the oldest-known sets in the second stage and streamed it to all interested parties in the galaxy.

“I saw this at 13 years old, wondered what in the wunderbar of wunderlicher things was going on, and then stopped asking and got snacks and maltbier and watched these things hit their third stage and realized I was part of a multi-planet, multi-species watch party bigger than any New Year's thing ever,” the German commodore said while Aunt Almira laughed, because his accent couldn't deal in English or German with that many Ws in a row without sounding them as Vs.

“Vell,” Uncle Benjamin said as he cracked the commodore up by thus informing him of his slipping Ws, “Velcome to our Vonderful Vatch Party, Commodore.”

Cdre. Allemande and his wife, Frau Wintergeboren, had brought a case each of good German snacks and non-alcoholic maltbier to go with what we were doing, having heard on good scientific authority that the oldest-known set Reohli Royals was within weeks of going third stage – at last a full bloom. So, the way these things were done, since Earth crews even on Earth lived on different time zones, is that somebody was always up … so our home with the Allemandes in it now covered two time zones, with other members of the crews of the Amanirenas and Farragut organizing into a 24-hour watch.

“This is really good for morale, Captain Biles-Dixon,” full fleet admiral Martti Talvela commented to me about this about two weeks into the watch. “Definitely outside the box, but your command line is all science officers, and this is the kind of thing that keeps science officers going. This is also the kind of thing that long-trip commodores do to keep multiple crews engaged, but I see you already know how.”

He was always dropping hints that he saw a higher-level officer in me … had I stayed in his command line in Near-Earth, I probably would have been at least a commodore by now, 20 years later … but I'm more of a Reoihli Royal in my career growth, and that is just fine with me! He had a good laugh about this when I last talked with him in semi-retirement.

“Knowing how you should get – or not get promotions – is essential, Captain! Half the people who are admirals should have had that much sense and not been up here crying about not having the freedom of being captains for half their time in the admiralty, and making mistakes based on thinking like a captain! Good for you – go on in your sensible Reoihli Royalty, Captain – but remember, Admiral Triefield and I do have to die at some point, so don't wait too long!”

But the old admirals are hanging on like Reoihli Royals … they have not passed away yet, like the lifespan of a Reolihi Royal bloom is an average of 120 years! Thus, they enter their third and final stage at about the 80th year of their development … and so, finally, the crew members of the Farragut and Amanirenas in Asia were calling to wake all of us up to let us know: “The third stage is happening – the first transformation is happening on a bud!”

“Well, how inconveniently wonderful,” Frau Wintergeboren said, “because we just went to bed and Wilhelm and I are 95 and we don't really do less than seven hours of sleep well, so we will catch you all in three hours.”

“Oh, we're going to bed too, because, no,” Aunt Almira said. “We are not about to look like senile dementia came and got us when all these junior officers call us in our morning – and Khadijah, you're married, so get your beauty sleep.”

It was like watching a flower bloom over days of time, so there was really no hurry – we were up when the first bud reached its final form some days later.

“If that does not really like some kind of king on its throne,” my husband, Capt. Rufus Dixon, said from his watch post in the Ventanan system.

“And, it's sentient – these are sentient fungi, so they know exactly what they are doing, distributing the nutrients from these fallen trees to other trees and plants and insects in need over time,” I said. “They are truly responsible royals, although they know nothing about our concept of this!”

“Can we get some more human leaders to figure this out?” I said.

“Well, Captain, me and thee, and a few people above you in the command line, and a commercial captain Kirk my partner and his admiral cousin J.T. – and about the rest, we'll just pray!”

Everybody from my aunt and uncle to Adm. Talvela had a good laugh about that!

“Pray and have the patience of a Reoihli Royal with us humans – you will need it!” said the full fleet admiral, and he, all of 92 years old now, is still standing on that answer, and still laughing at the memory!