26 May 2024, @mariannewest's Freewrite Writing Prompt Day 2384: brag about it

Photo by Hulki Okan Tabak on Unsplash

“My thing is, Papa, it's a little late for our other grandparents to be trying to do all this. I'm eleven years old. If they had stepped up then, I wouldn't have needed to be in foster care at any time. I'm not at the Lego brass knuckle stage, but I understand why Edwina is.”

Capt. R.E. Ludlow had not critiqued three of his grandchildren's reactions to the parents of their mother – his son, R.E. Ludlow Jr., was already dead and gone too, and the Ludlow grandparents had stepped right up, but the whole thing had been a mess. Yet Capt. Ludlow understood something his grandchildren could not: the devastating sorrow of losing an adult child to addiction, and the effect it could have on parents.

“Mainly because you can't make brass items out of plastic Legos,” the Ludlow grandfather said.

“That, Papa, and also you can't punch through a screen either,” Eleanor said. “Edwina pretty much got that done anyhow.”

“And I'm not sorry!” Edwina said.

“I pretty much agree with Eddie,” Eleanor said, “but just we're here and they're there, and it's cool. We don't have to talk to them unless you ask us, and you don't ask too often, so it's cool.”

“And what do you think, Lil' Robert?” the captain said gently to little R.E. Ludlow III, his baby grandchild.

“I'm confused,” he said. “Explain this to me like I'm five, because, see, I am five – who were those people again?”

Edwina busted out laughing and Eleanor shook her head.

“When you drop the ball so bad that your youngest grandchild is a whole five and doesn't even know who you are,” Eleanor said.

“I know who my grandparents are,” Lil' Robert said. “Papa is here. Grandma is right there. Do I need more? Because, see, if I do, I'm picking Gracie's grandparents.”

Mrs. Thalia Ludlow just walked away, shaking her head and trying not to laugh as Edwina started rolling laughing.

“Because, see, there's people that say stuff, and then there's people that do the work,” Lil' Robert continued. “I know who my grandparents are, because they do the work, like I do. I am getting kinda hungry and I need to eat so I can keep working.”

“OK, we've talked to your other grandparents, and we've talked about how you feel about it,” Capt. Ludlow said. “How I feel is this: it's like I'm trying to get better and do better, so are they. That doesn't mean you have to be around them and they have to be around you. This is just doing our best to help them because God cares about them too, and giving them a chance to right their wrongs. Yes, they failed us when we really needed them, but we don't get to hold them there just like they couldn't hold us there.”

“That's deep, Papa,” Eleanor said, “because you can't hold anybody anywhere without staying there with them.”

“Exactly, so in letting them move on, we let ourselves move on, too,” Capt. Ludlow said.

“See, this is why I can't be grown yet, because I'm not ready to be letting folks go – who is going to give me back the years I had to fight my way in foster care because they didn't care enough to come get me?” Edwina said.

“Think of it this way,” Capt. Ludlow said gently. “I thought about just blowing them away for that, but … .”

Eleanor jumped.

“Now, Eleanor, you know I have a sunshine twin and a night-side twin,” Capt. Ludlow said. “You know Edwina comes naturally to her attitude.”

“And I love it because you keep it real!” Edwina said, and jumped up into his arms.

“But this is what I'm telling you, night-side twin,” the captain said gently. “How many years in prison would I have needed to spend instead of being here holding you on a beautiful Sunday?”

“Well, yeah, Papa, you've got a point,” Edwina said.

“And how many years did you want to spend grounded if you ever fix your mouth to cuss out anyone while living under my roof?”

“Uh, none – you've got a point there too, Papa.”

Eleanor smiled.

“Come here, all three of you,” he said, and all three of his children by his son came for hugs and snuggles.

“We let other people move on not because they deserve it, or we deserve it, but because God says if people repent, forgive them – that's Luke 17. That is the way God has for everyone to move on and be blessed. I pray for your mother's parents to heal as I have, and they are doing the work. Now, remember: by adoption, I am also your father, and your grandmother, your mother. If anything happens to me and Grandma, then your big Lee cousins are going to adopt you. So, it is safe for you all to forgive your other grandparents, and let the anger go – you have all your years to look forward to, and be safe!”

“Can we all get a hug on that?” ten-year-old Andrew said, “because my dad's grandparents aren't even as far along.”

“All seven of you, come here,” Capt. Ludlow said, and all the Ludlow grandchildren and Mrs. Ludlow joined the hug, and then Col. and Mrs. Lee came and joined, and then the three little Trents, their two big siblings, and their Stepforth grandparents came on out and joined it too.

“I still don't know what's going on,” Lil' Robert said to his big sister Eleanor, “but that was nice!”

“All you really need to know,” Eleanor said, “is that some people do things to brag about it, and other people do the work to be real. We're surrounded by real people who have done the work for everybody to be safe, and you know what, Rob? It is real nice!”