26 January 2026, @mariannewest's Freewrite Writing Prompt Day 2995: producer of nothing in particular

“So, if we get married someday, I have a warrior childkeeper grandfather and you have a warrior childkeeper grandmother, and in my family Edwina is going to be an auntie like that and Grayson is probably going to be that uncle, and of course I'll step up, so you really don't need to put anybody on the spot in your family.”

Ten-year-old Andrew Ludlow was talking with his best friend eleven-year-old Velma Trent from next door, talking about the future between their two highly interesting families.

“Well, I wouldn't have to ask because first of all, don't sleep on Gracie,” Velma said. “Gracie is Grandma Jubilee's miniature, and although she seems mellow, it's because she's the baby and everybody already knows we gotta look out for her. But Milton can tell you stories about how he learned you don't mess with Gracie – and so can Melvin, although he is 13 years older. I'll come back to him, but first, there's Gracie. She's calmer than Edwina, but they could easily grow up and start doing the kind of stuff Hilda Lee and Mahogany Mae Jubilee were doing back in the day.”

“Oh, yeah, the hunting parties for people that harmed women and children,” Andrew said. “Cousin Harry got his first training on those, and look how he turned out as the Angel of Death.”

“And then there's Vanna and we all know that she is a whole situation looking for a place to happen,” Velma said.

“Yeah,” Andrew said. “I notice her dumb friends don't call anymore – next to Papa on the phone, that's the next person that we need to do 922 pre-emergency calls for.”

“Vanna also picks up the capoeira martial arts bit from Pop-Pop – the woman is a lethal weapon,” Velma said. “She can shoot as well as Melvin, too – and then there's Melvin.”

“Melvin is super mellow,”Andrew said, “but then so is your dad and so is Cousin Harry … so it's like that, huh?”

“Yep,” Velma said. “So, while we were up in New York, one of our criminal-minded neighbors noticed that our mother hadn't come home for a few weeks, and decided he wanted to break in and see what he could do. We woke up and we could just hear Melvin telling that man, 'You trying to break in on my family? You gotta come all the way in so I can legally kill yo' –' well, it was an adult word.”

“I get the picture,” Andrew said.

“So, he pulled this man in through the window,” Velma said, “and swung him into the wall so hard the apartment shook, and then threw him on the floor and pinned him down, and then said, 'Man, my little siblings are in the house, so I'm not going to kill you, but –.' Let's just say that man was glad when the cops got there.”

“I bet he was,” Andrew said.

“Then in that same month there was this gang member wannabe who got the hots for Vanna,” Velma said. “Melvin told him straight up: knock it off or handle the consequences. So, the wannabe says: 'What chu gonna do about it, you little square producer of nothing in particular worth listening to?' Melvin just smiled and pulled out his phone and dialed a number – 'Hey, Trex, how you doing, man?' The wannabe all but jumped out of his shoes, because Trex was the gang leader. 'How are you liking those beats I gave you – glad they're working for you. By the way, man, did you know that one of yours is hitting on my underaged sister?' The wannabe just took off running, and we never saw or heard frm him again.”

“Wow – Melvin is hardcore,” Andrew said.

“Yeah, and also, kind,” Velma said. “He and Trex went to high school together, and Melvin helped him get his grades up so he could graduate on time, so Trex would let anything happen to Melvin or Vanna … but also, Melvin didn't call him, because he was praying Trex would get out of that life of violence and crime, and getting the wannabe killed wasn't worth all that. Melvin bluffed the wannabe. Trex eventually did get out of the life of crime, too – he works with Melvin in New York on No-Sleep Productions and is in trade school.”

“That's the keeper part,” Andrew said.

“Yep. Melvin says all the time: 'Everybody is somebody's child whose mama hopes he or she will make it home.' He is a childkeeper – he literally held Vanna, Milton, Gracie, and I down until Dad could get retired from the Army and get home – but like, for real, that's how he thinks even if he has to fight you. And he will if he has to – coupla guys jumped him in high school and will probably never jump again because Melvin is an army brat version of a lethal weapon – but he's only going to turn on the warrior if he really has to.”

“OK, so, our kids would definitely be protected,” Andrew said. “We would have to ramp up the 922 service, though … that would be a dangerous combo, your family and mine.”

“Yeah, definitely don't know if Lofton County is ready for all that,” Velma said. “But, to borrow a phrase from your baby brother: next decade, though.”

“To borrow a phrase from your baby sister,” Andrew said, “ain't it the truth, Velma, ain't it the truth.”