25 april 2025, @mariannewest's Freewrite Writing Prompt Day 2717: blue pig

“OK, so, blue pigs, yes, blue hams and blue spam, no.”

Ten-year-old Glendella Ludlow was breaking down some pork facts to her cousins nine-year-old George and his best friend nine-year-old Milton Trent. The teo boys had been reading that afternoon and seen that England at one time had blue and white pigs, and they had seen some bluish pigs running around in Lofton County on different farms.

“Yeah, that is a thing,” Glendella said, “because when our ancestors got here, they brought some hogs, and some of them were of that old blue blood breed.”

“So there are blue blood people and blue blood pigs, too?” Milton said.

“It all kind of makes sense when you think about it,” George said, "because you are what you eat."

“Yeah, it does, but it's also why some of our relatives are stone cold crazy, George, and why you don't want to eat blue ham or blue spam,” Glendella said.

“Well, I mean, Dr. Seuss was doing good with green eggs and ham back in the day,” Milton said.

“Yeah, but, he's a doctor,” Glendella said, “and so you know they have stuff to take for stuff. See, if you get a blue pig, the ham and spam are supposed to be a regular color, but if you cut open any kind of hog and see it has blue color in its fat, don't eat it.”

“I just thought you'd take some mustard and keep it moving in that case – mustard is yellow and blue pigs are blue, so, bam, green ham,” Milton said.

“Nope,” Glendella said. “Pigs save themselves from eating things that would poison them by putting it in their fat – blue fat means the pig has been eating too much copper, or too much stuff that … well, that's kinda gross, and I don't know if y'all really want to know that.”

“Look, we're boys, Glendella!” George said. “We live on gross stuff!”

“Yeah, you probably actually do,” she said, “because the other way pigs get blue fat is by eating rat poison or eating the poisoned rats. That also tells us that pigs eat rats.”

George and Milton looked at each other.

“Hey, Dad – is the pork we barbecue certified for a non-rat diet?” Milton said as he went into his house.

That left George turning green.

“Excuse me, Glendella,” he said, and ran for the toilet.

Eleven-year-old Eleanor Ludlow came up.

“We're blue bloods, and the mustard just got slapped on George,” she said.

“There definitely must have been some serious mistakes made with blue ham and blue spam in our family,” Glendella said.

“Definitely,” Eleanor said,.“Like George said, given that we all have parents who bombed out, it all makes sense.”

“But not your grandfather my big cousin,” Glendella said.

“Oh, look, Papa is nuts too, but he uses it to defend the country and his family,” Eleanor said. “You just gotta use it right. What I'm learning is, everybody is a little off, but, there's also choices.”

“That makes sense, too – well, I'm just going to check the freezer here too for blue pork,” Glendella said. “George and Milton should voluntarily co-ground themselves and read more often – they really find out good things we need to know about like you and Andrew do, and Velma does next door.”

“We need the pork to be what-certified before we barbecue again?” Sgt. Vincent Trent said as he was being dragged out of the house by his son Milton.

“Tell him, Glendella – tell him!” Milton said. “This is a whole food safety emergency – how do we know they aren't using blue ham and blue spam and dying it all pink?”

“Because it would end up purple,” Eleanor said.

“Oh, yeah, that's right – whew!” Milton said.

“What?” Sgt. Trent said, and then listened quietly to Glendella, and said, “I get our meat from local suppliers that are careful – no rats, rat poison, or pennies eaten by the pigs.”

“Whew,” Eleanor and Glendella and Milton said.

“We get all our barbecue meat from Sgt. Trent, so I can tell George it is safe to come out of the bathroom now,” Eleanor said.

“Thank you for your continuing service, Sgt. Trent,” Glendella said. “Maybe my generation of blue bloods will get it together now too.”

“I hope so, Glendella,” the sergeant said gently. “We always pray and hope for the best.”